Time
by Kravn
Summary: Angsty Doccubus AU which takes place right after 3x09 and diverges from there. Bo's and Lauren's relationship is rocky and Lauren decides that she's had enough and needs to regain control of her life so she take matters into her own hands. This story follows Lauren and Bo - how they cope and the decisions they make. Some OC's. Eventual Doccubus.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **"Time"

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lost Girl or any of their characters. I just absolutely love (read *obsessed with*) the show.

**Pairing**: Bo / Lauren

**Summary:** This takes place right after 3x09. Bo's and Lauren's relationship is rocky and Lauren decides that she needs to regain control of her life and takes matters into her own hands.

**Author's Notes:** I know there are a few stories out there about angsty Doccubus post 3x09 and this may fall within that group. I hope however, that it will be different. This is an emotional and introspective journey for Lauren and Bo.

Thanks to Neytiri's Heart for her help and advice.

**Chapter 1**

Light Fae Compound - Lab

Bo made her way through the long hallway to the lab; the sound of her boots against the tiles, echoed down the hall. With the Dawning finally behind her, she felt energized and elated at her success in passing this major Fae milestone. She also felt more confident as she now had a better understanding of herself and of her power. But more importantly, she was just so relieved that this ordeal was over and things could go back to normal. No more long days and nights of training and being afraid of devolving into some grotesque, drooling Under Fae with horns and fangs and sporting back hair. Now she could go back to working on cases; hanging out with Kenzi at the Dal and at the shack; and she could actually spend time with her girlfriend instead of the text messages relationship that they had of late.

As she made her way into the lab, she noticed that there seemed to be an unusual amount of activity, with staff bustling about the lab and Lauren being in the centre of the maelstrom. The Succubus wondered what was going on but those thoughts quickly left her mind as her attention fixated on her girlfriend.

"Lauren!" she called out.

No response.

Lauren was deeply enthralled with whatever information was on her clipboard. Bo stood back, observing her lover – she loved watching Lauren work and right now she was in command with her personnel heeding every word she said. The blonde was busily scribbling something down on a clipboard and handing it off to one of her staff before another staff member gave her a very thick file for her to review. Lauren rattled off some instructions to them while gesturing in her usual cute, animated way; they nodded their head in understanding before scuttling off. Her girlfriend was definitely in serious doctor mode and looked pensive as she read the folder while walking over to a nearby counter. She placed the file down; her hair falling down in waves, hiding her face as she reviewed the file's contents. Bo loved watching Lauren. She was so beautiful and amazing. To say that Bo was in awe of Lauren would be simplifying how she felt.

The doctor seemed to have a break from her revolving medical entourage and Bo chose this moment to approach. "Lo!" Still nothing. Bo tried again, "Dr. Lewis!" This time there was a reaction. Lauren seemed to be in a daze as she raised her head to acknowledge her name. She scanned the lab till her eyes met the brunette.

"Bo? Are you here to see Dyson? If so, he's just down the hall."

Bo wasn't expecting that. Lauren's comment literally stopped her in her tracks. "Actually, I came to see you. We didn't really get a chance to talk or spend any time together after my Dawning ceremony yesterday and I thought I could take you to lunch." Bo resumed closing the distance between her and the Doctor but not touching.

"I was here all night monitoring Dyson. You could've stopped by." Lauren said in a matter of fact tone, looking Bo straight in the eyes.

Bo looked away briefly to recover. Lauren was right but she had needed time last night to figure things out. Looking back to her girlfriend, she said in a shaky voice, "You're right. I could've… I should've. I just… I needed to think. There was so much that happened in the temple and then… afterwards. I just needed to process everything that happened and the changes that I went through."

Lauren understood that Bo must've felt overwhelmed even though she was successful with the Dawning. "It's okay Bo. I imagine that the ceremony must've taken a lot out of you."

She moved towards her girlfriend but the blonde seemed to be preoccupied with her file. Bo was concerned. Lauren was acting strangely. "Are you okay babe? You don't seem yourself."

Lauren sighed. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and she wasn't ready to face Bo; her emotions were chaotic. "I'm just tired. What with having my chi sucked out of me and working here all night…."

The Succubus felt shame rush through her. She knew that she took the life force from the people that she loved – well Stella didn't count – and she felt badly about it but she did what she had to do. "About that. I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone but I had to do it to save Dyson. You know that I would've done the same if it were you or Kenzi. "

Lauren nodded her head and smiled sadly. She knew that Bo would've moved Heaven and Earth to save those that she cared about. It wasn't Bo chi-sucking the room that unnerved her, but rather how Bo looked at Dyson when she brought him back. There was something there. Call it a gut feeling because there was no empirical evidence to prove otherwise, but the way they looked at each other, it looked like love and not the kind between friends.

Bo cleared her throat, feeling the tension between them and chose to switch topics. "You said that you spent the night here. Why didn't you go home?"

The brunette's voice brought Lauren out of her thoughts. Her weariness too much for her; she let her cool Doctor persona take over. "Dyson needed to be monitored and there was no one else here to do it. And now that I don't have to come up with a formula to stop you from devolving, I used the time to catch up on all the things that I let fall to the wayside."

Bo was slowly floundering and didn't know how to act or respond to her lover's uncharacteristic behaviour. Uncertainty in her voice, Bo managed to respond, "Okay. So did you get caught up?"

Lauren was on auto pilot now. As much as she was glad that Bo was here to see her, she just didn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with her - she just wanted to focus on her work and continue with the lab preparations. "For the most part but there's still a lot left to be done."

Bo knew that Lauren was forever dedicated to her work and it was to her own detriment. As much as she loved that quality in her girlfriend, it was also frustrating having to reason with her to be realistic with her work hours. "Babe, you really need to get some rest. At least don't work too late today."

The doctor was frustrated and conflicted. On one hand this was what she wanted from Bo – for her to be concerned and thoughtful - but after these past few months of her being selfish, secretive, inconsiderate and unsupportive; it was just too much. Lauren tried to suppress her emotions but wasn't completely successful. Instead, she came across as being a bit cool. "I appreciate your concern Bo, but I've managed just fine the last six years."

Not to be daunted by her girlfriend's abruptness, Bo chose to keep things light and ignore the blonde's grumpy-sleep-and-energy-deprived tone. "But you didn't have me to nag you back then. As your girlfriend, it's in my job description to ensure that you don't over work yourself."

It always surprised Lauren how charming Bo could be; it cut through some of her frustration and she gave her one of her famous half smiles in response. Lauren knew that the Succubus was trying and she did appreciate it but she needed to be resolute and strong. Time was of the essence and she still had a lot to do. Before Bo could reply, the blonde blurted out, "I know that you came to visit me but I really have to get going. I have a meeting with the Ash."

The brunette pouted and inched closer, putting her hands on Lauren's hips, "I'm sure that Hale won't mind waiting a few minutes. We haven't been able to spend any time together what with all my training for the Dawning... I've missed you Lauren."

Lauren silenced her conflicted thoughts and feelings and allowed herself to react naturally. She cupped Bo's face, causing the brunette to smile – it seemed like forever since she felt Lauren's touch. The blonde leaned forward and pressed her forehead against her lover's; inhaling her scent. Closing her eyes, Lauren felt herself relax within the Succubus' hands and from being in close proximity to her. Blocking out all the sounds and activity in the lab; nothing else existed right now – no thoughts of being a slave; no insecurities; no Dyson; no Dawning and no Bo feeding off of others – it was just them in that instant and it brought her peace. Lauren allowed herself to be swept up in the comfort and tenderness of the moment; of the feeling of being safe and of being loved. She just wanted to savour this and commit it to memory.

"Ahem!"

"Ahem, Dr. Lewis!"

Lauren sighed. And just that quickly, the moment was gone; interrupted by a member of her staff. Her eyes snapped open as she moved her forehead away from Bo's and turned her head towards the direction of the voice; her hands dropping to her girlfriend's forearms that refused to budge from its spot. Bo wasn't about to relinquish touching her girlfriend because of a lab Harpy.

"Yes?" Lauren breathed out irritated.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but the Ash is ready to see you now."

Upon the doctor's acknowledgement of her appointment, the Fae scurried out of the lab.

Lauren looked at Bo, her fingers gently massaging the Succubus' forearms; she said softly, "I have to go." Bo frowned but stepped back and released her grip on her lover; missing the contact immediately. As Lauren turned to grab the file folder from the counter, Bo used that moment to collect herself and stuff down her desire to drag Lauren into her office and take her on her desk; on her chair; against the wall…

The brunette physically shook her head to clear her thoughts. She missed being intimate with her girlfriend but this would have to wait. Lauren thought she saw her girlfriend's eyes flash blue but she wasn't sure if it happened or if she imagined it due to lack of sleep.

In a hopeful voice, Bo breathed out, "See you later?"

Lauren's stomach started churning again as a wave of chaotic emotions passed through her; she felt as if the acid would eat through her stomach lining. "I'm probably going to be awhile."

"That's okay. Call me and I'll come for you." Lauren looked softly into Bo's eyes; wanting so much to grab her and hold her tight but she knew that she shouldn't. Instead, she nodded and turned to leave the lab. Bo's eyes followed the blonde as she walked away and out the door; she couldn't shake the uneasiness that she felt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

A big thank you to all those who have left reviews and have flagged my story as favourite or to follow - it means more to me than you could know. This is my first multi-chapter story, so I need all the encouragement that I can get. Encouragement in the form of reviews – both good (preferably) and bad (constructive criticism), would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart for her help, advice and welcomed sarcasm. Yes, the shoe is on the other foot.

* * *

**Chapter 2  
**

The Ash's office

As Lauren was ushered into the Ash's inner office by his assistant, she quickly took in her surroundings. She realized that Hale was in the process of moving his office out of the Dal and back into the compound, however to say that the Ash's office was bare was an understatement. The only furnishings were a dark mahogany desk with an ergonomic office chair behind it and two black leather chairs facing his desk. There were no photos, statues, weapons or even a stuffed trophy animal or Under Fae anywhere in the office. In fact, the only thing that could be considered decorative, was the fancy fountain pen set adorning his desk; along with his cell phone and a huge pile of files.

Hale looked up from his mountain of paperwork as Lauren was escorted in; his assistant not wasting any time to leave. "Hey Doc." the Siren said with a smile; if he were honest with himself, since he became Acting Ash, he didn't have much time to hang out with his friends. All his time was spent treading the political Fae waters, dealing with red tape and learning the fine art of political correctness in order to get things accomplished. To see a friendly face was a wonderful reprieve from the arduous paperwork that greeted him each day.

Lauren bowed her head in respect, "Ash." Hale waved his hand dismissing the formality, "Please, there's no need for that Doc."

The blonde was all business. It was the only way she knew to be in order to get through this. "I insist. I must stick with protocol. I have to make a request of you."

Hale arched his eyebrow as his curiosity peaked, "Sounds serious. Please have a seat." as he indicated to a chair.

Lauren was too anxious to sit still, "I'd rather stand if you don't mind." Hale nodded and walked around to the front of his desk. He leaned back so that he was semi-seated on the top of his desk; his hands clasped together; relaxed yet curious as to what had the doctor so antsy.

"First of all, I wanted to let you know that Dyson is recovering and with bed rest, he should be back on his feet in a couple of days."

"That's good to hear." Hale was relieved. After hearing about Dyson's near death experience in the temple, he was concerned about his well being.

Lauren took a deep breath to collect herself. These past few years have been increasingly difficult but she coped; she pushed past her fear, her concern, her feelings, her pride; in order to get the job done; and in so doing, she lost a bit of herself each time. If anything was going to change, now was the time.

Hale recognized that something was concerning the blonde and prompted her by gently asking, "And your request?"

Lauren exhaled. "I received a phone call this morning from a Fae medical… _**colleague**_, for lack of a better word. Her name is Dr. Mila Hernandez from the Brazilian Light Fae clan. There is some kind of Fae outbreak there and she would like my assistance. I'd like to request to assist them."

Hale was pleasantly surprised; thinking it was something more dire. "That's it? I don't have an issue helping out a fellow clan. Just make arrangements with the tech guys and they'll set you up with satellite video conferencing."

Lauren blinked. She didn't expect this response. Maybe she wasn't clear. "You misunderstand. I wish to assist on site… in Brazil."

The Siren was taken aback. He should've known that it couldn't have been that simple.

"Go there? Why would you have to go to Brazil?"

"From what she told me, there have been a significant number of deaths and this may be a strain similar to the epidemic that I treated in the Congo. However, I won't know for certain until I see it for myself and as we used to say in the Army, nothing is more effective than boots on the ground. If I were physically there, I would be on hand to review their findings, conduct testing, treat patients, go to where it all started, etc."

Lauren's fingers played nervously with the file in her hands before she closed the distance between her and the Siren. "Dr. Hernandez sent me some information on the epidemic thus far – on patients that have been infected and who have died." The blonde stood next to Hale with the file open, showing pictures of some of the afflicted and dead.

Hale looked at the photos, grimacing at the physical effects of the disease on the patients; before looking back up at Lauren. "Protocol dictates that in situations like these, where a clan is requesting aid from another, a formal request has to be made from their Ash. I haven't received any word from theirs."

"The Ash there is Vicente Medeiros." Lauren stated. "They never asked me to come – rather they just requested any assistance that I would be able to provide them. I am the one asking to go there on assignment to help."

This kept getting more and more puzzling to Hale. "Why would you want to go there? I thought that things were better for you as a Ward of the Light. Did something happen? Did someone do something to you? If so, tell me and I'll make sure it never happens again!" Hale stood up from where he was seated; agitated at the thought that someone possibly hurt her.

Lauren's emotions quickly unravelled; it took everything within her to be calm all morning, especially in Bo's presence and now that the moment was here, she couldn't contain herself anymore and blurted out, "I need to leave! I can't stay here!"

Hale's anger was quickly extinguished and replaced with concern and confusion. "What? What do you mean you can't stay here?"

Lauren was pacing now, her arms wrapped around herself; clearly upset. "I need to get away for awhile. I know that I'm your…_** employee**_… and that this is a lot to ask but I just can't be here anymore; at least not for awhile."

The Siren had never seen Lauren not be her normal cool, collected and confident self. Her demeanor now was definitely atypical. "What's this about Doc? Does this have something to do with Bo?"

The doctor sighed; she needed to get her emotions under control. She stopped pacing and turned to face the Acting Ash. "And Dyson."

Hale was completely lost, "I don't understand."

Lauren sighed again; her shoulders slumped. "Somehow Dyson got his love back. And no, I don't have any proof but he has been _**different**_. He's different around Bo – the way he looks at her; the way he acts; what he says… The only way to know would be to ask him and I'm the last person in the world to do that."

Hale was flabbergasted. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

The blonde continued, "I know how this seems. That I'm having relationship issues; that it's preventing me from being professional and I'm running away. And when I put it like that in the most basic terms, yes, that is how it is. But it's more than that. It's not just Dyson…"

The Siren was still dumbfounded and it showed in his tone and in his expression. "I don't know what to say. I'm shocked by all of this."

Lauren knew that she had to be honest with Hale so that he could understand her situation; how she was feeling. She was not one for airing her personal laundry; and years of controlling her feelings made it even more difficult to express it with others but time was of the essence and she would not get another opportunity.

Swallowing her pride, Lauren took the leap and looked the Siren in the eyes; all her turmoil etched on her face; her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I know that what I am asking of you is huge. But I need this Hale. I have sacrificed _**everything**_ that I am - first for Nadia and now for Bo. And I am empty. I can't think clearly; I can't eat; and I can't sleep." The blonde exhaled before continuing; her hands clasped in front of her, "When I first came here, things were so hard, so bleak… but I had science and medicine and that helped me cope. I need to find that again but I can't do that here; not right now; there are too many distractions. If I stay here - the way things are and the way I feel - I won't be any good to you, to the Light or to myself. And if I can't perform, then my… _**services**_ will no longer be required and I'm afraid to think what that would mean for me."

Hale understood the risk that the doctor was taking in expressing her fears and emotions and he was truly sympathetic but he was the Acting Ash and even though he respected her and considered them to be friends, he had to consider what was in the best interest of the Light first. Having their doctor and his Ward be thousands of miles away instead of treating his own clan wouldn't be in their best interest or at least, it would be frowned upon which would make his already difficult job, more difficult. Hale sighed. "I don't know what I can do Lauren. I sympathize with your situation but…"

Lauren decided to try a different tactic. "I know that the Elders sometimes need to weigh in on some of your decisions. However, think of this as an opportunity to make a name for yourself as Acting Ash - _**your**_ human doctor assisting to eradicate this outbreak that is affecting another Light Fae clan."

Hale smiled at Lauren's gumption and raised one eyebrow. "You have that much faith in your abilities?"

The doctor replied matter of factly, "My work speaks for itself... one word: _**Congo**_." Lauren continued to explain herself, "I acknowledge and resign myself to my situation. I am a slave to the Light." Lauren waved her hand to silence Hale's aversion to the word 'slave'. "Science is all I have and I want to focus all my energy into it. I _**know**_ that I can do this. I _**know**_ that I can make a difference there Hale."

The Siren was slowly becoming convinced. "Let's say that I agree, I don't know if I'd be able to convince the Elders that this is a good idea and get their support."

The blonde was on a roll; her mind working all the angles. "Hale, I know that I don't know much about Fae politics but I know that this can work to your benefit. _**When**_ I come up with a cure and I will; it will reflect _**very**_ positively on you, your position as Acting Ash and your clan. It'll be your name that will be associated with saving thousands of Fae from this outbreak. And even more, it would be Fae that's not even part of your clan, so they will be indebted to you."

Lauren could tell that what she was saying was sinking in by reading Hale's body language, so she continued. "I know that you only took this position until a new Ash could be chosen but I can tell that you are enjoying what you are doing; you've settled into this role and you are making a difference and you realize that you are. I can help you continue to make a difference Hale." The doctor paused for the coup de grâce, "And besides, weren't your ancestors from that area?"

Hale's eyes twinkled and he chuckled out loud, "You're wrong Lauren, you know enough about Fae politics. How long are we talking about here?"

The blonde breathed out quickly, "Two to six months."

Hale whistled unconsciously, fortunately nothing exploded. "Damn Doc, that's a long time! I don't know if I can spare you for that long."

Lauren continued, not to be discouraged, "In the event that you were willing to approve my request, I made a list of Fae doctors that would be a good fit during my absence. And they would all willingly jump at the opportunity to be Chief Medical Doctor here." She handed him a list of names which he took automatically; still surprised by these turn of events. "As well, I updated all active case records last night and have a turnover report ready for whomever you choose to replace me while I'm away. All they have to do is show up for work."

Hale was impressed by the doctor's ingenuity and level of preparation. "You're not afraid that your replacement will do a fantastic job and that there won't be a position for you upon your return?"

In a very matter of fact tone and devoid of arrogance, Lauren said, "First of all, when I return here, I would've found the cure for this epidemic. And secondly, I don't think anyone would question your authority or my abilities. So, no, it won't be an issue."

Being devil's advocate, Hale continued to list possible arguments against this arrangement. "The Elders could argue that you may use this opportunity to run away."

Always one to consider all the angles, Lauren wasn't stumped. "I thought about that and I think that it would be prudent of you to send someone with me, for security purposes. They would be there in a dual capacity - to protect me as Ward of the Ash and to ensure that I won't flee; which I won't."

In a very serious tone, Hale said, "Lauren, _**if **_I agree to this, promise me that you won't run."

Lauren looked directly into Hale's eyes and replied very emphatically, "I promise! As a doctor and as your Ward, I swear to uphold my agreement and my responsibility. I give you my word." She exhaled and released some of the tension that she was didn't realize she was holding in her shoulders. She reiterated, "This is just temporary. I just need time so that I can … come to terms with everything and be able to function as I should; as I need to."

Hale sighed. "You've given this a lot of thought. Do you have someone in mind for your Security detail?"

"I have worked with Serena in the past. She was very efficient with the whole Djieiene spider situation. She's fair and honourable and I'm comfortable with her. She is the first Fae that comes to mind if you are willing to spare her. If not her, anyone that you trust and that you think is capable of not looking down on me because I'm human; someone that would be able and willing to protect me. If I'm going to be there for a few months, I don't need the headache of having to watch my back around them."

Again, Hale was impressed that Lauren had considered everything. "And I suppose that you'll want to leave right away?"

Lauren nodded, "Tonight preferably or tomorrow morning."

"Is there anything else that I need to know?"

The blonde nodded, "This assignment will require me to travel out in the field for extended periods of time - at different locations - so I'll be on the move constantly. There are temporary labs set up at each location I believe. As well, some of the areas that I will be in will most likely not have cell phone coverage or internet. Communication will be difficult at times." Lauren saw Hale's shoulders slump. She pressed on; she wasn't about to let this fall apart now. "With that said, I'm sure that you can equip me or my Security person with top of the line communication gear so that they and/or I can provide you with regular reports or updates."

Hale chuckled again, "Of course you don't make this easy." He paused for a few seconds contemplating all the information and possible ramifications. "Okay. I'll support your assignment and I'll do what I can to make it happen but there are no guarantees. I still have to convince the Elders."

Lauren smiled with relief. "Thank you Hale! I appreciate your support and I do understand that some things may be out of your hands. But if I get the go ahead, you won't regret it."

Very solemnly, the Siren asked, "What about Bo? Are you going to tell her?"

The blonde's smile quickly disappeared, "I can't say anything beforehand. If I do, she'll try to stop me from leaving. I don't want to hurt her but I need to do this for me."

Hale shook his head, "I don't know about that Doc. She's gonna be royally pissed…"

Lauren closed her eyes briefly and rubbed the bridge of her nose. All the stress and emotional turmoil gave her a massive headache. "I know. I'll call her from the airport and I'll also leave her a letter explaining everything." She looked at Hale sadly, "I'll make sure she understands that this was my idea and not yours."

The Siren walked up to the blonde and gently put his hand on her shoulder; the act startled her but she didn't flinch from the contact. He normally would never make such a physical gesture towards the doctor, but he now had a better understanding of her emotional and mental state for her to go to such extreme measures. He was genuinely concerned about her. "I'm not worried about me Lauren. I really hope you know what you're doing - for your sake and for hers."

Lauren smiled but it never reached her eyes. "This is for me Hale. For once, I'm doing something for me."

Hale dropped his hand and his look said that he understood. "Okay. I'll get things rolling – deal with the Elders; Ash Medeiros; Security, etc. If it's a go, be ready to move at a moment's notice."

The blonde replied quickly, "That won't be a problem. I'm already packed."

Hale was surprised – not just by the fact that Lauren was confident that her request would be approved but that she was already packed. "What about all your belongings in your apartment?"

There was a resignation and sadness in her voice; "There's nothing of importance for me to take. I'll be ready when you call." She paused and asked tentatively, "Can you keep this between us? I don't want anyone knowing the real reason why I've taken this assignment."

Hale nodded his understanding, "Trust me Doc, I don't want anyone else to know either. My rep is at stake." Lauren was visibly relieved – not just that she would most likely be going on this assignment but that Hale would do everything he could to support her and keep her secret.

Lauren bowed her head. "Thank you Ash."

The Siren watched her as walked out his office; he felt a great deal of concern and respect for the doctor. He would make sure to check up on her while she was away to make sure that she was alright. He would also talk to Serena to ensure that she knew how important it was to protect and look out for the good Doctor.

He shook his head and sighed. He knew that Bo would not take this well and she would be one irate Succubus. He imagined that she would pay him a visit once she found out.

The Siren drew himself out of his thoughts and reached for his cell; punching in some numbers from memory.

Hale smiled when he heard the voice. It had been a while.

"Dyson? Hey!"

The Siren chuckled, "Yeah, I decided to take time out of my busy Ash schedule to talk to the little people."

"Look, I need to confirm something. Are you up to having visitors?"

"K, I'll see you in 30."

Hale ended the call. He needed to know if Dyson had his love back. He would ask the awkward question that Lauren couldn't and he would keep her confidence.

The Crack Shack

Kenzi staggered down the stairs and groped around the kitchen for a clean coffee cup. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted in the air, calling her name. A couple of sips and a few seconds later, java was surging through her veins. It was the pick-me-up that she needed to pry her eyes open so that she could pour her sugar fix of 'Toastie Bun Buns' into a bowl.

Making her way over to the couch, she saw that her BFF was already dressed and enjoying a cup of coffee. Well, enjoying was debatable. Bo was seated at the far end of the couch with her legs tucked underneath her; her coffee mug in her hands; and she was staring at the blank TV.

"Hey Bo Bo, you know that TV's are way more enjoyable when you turn them on? It's a proven fact!" Kenzi said as she plopped down on the couch with her coffee and bowl of cereal.

Bo didn't respond.

Kenzi snapped her fingers in front of the Succubus' face. "Earth to Bo. Come in Bo."

"Huh?" Bo seemed to come out of her haze.

"What's going on Succubum? Why the face?" Kenzi asked in between mouthfuls of cereal.

"Nothing's going on." Bo mumbled.

The Goth stopped in mid-chew. "You lie like a cheap rug on a bald dude!"

Bo stared at Kenzi with a look that said 'What the hell? That the best you got!' The look resonated in the Goth, who got a bit defensive. "What?! I just woke up. That's pretty good for first thing in the morning."

The brunette shook her head. "It's noon Kenz!"

"Like I said, it's first thing in the morning." The Goth smiled nonchalantly. "It's just that you got your frowny face on."

Bo sighed. "Lauren. Lauren's what's going on. She's acting weird."

Kenzi couldn't resist, "What, like normal Lauren weird or abnormally Lauren weird?"

The jab at her girlfriend didn't register; Bo was preoccupied. "I think she's mad at me Kenz."

"If that were true, why would Hot Pants be mad at you?" the Goth put the bowl up to her lips and slurped down the remaining milk; wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Well, she's normally happy to see me when I stop by the lab; but today it was like she was annoyed that I was there. And she was really cold and abrupt with me; almost giving me the brush off. And she had that tone like she would give you when you mess with her lab equipment."

The Goth made a scrunched up face. "Damn! That's not good." She remembered all the times that Lauren would chastise her for _**handling**_ the lab equipment, almost breaking a couple unintentionally of course. It basically made her want to unplug everything in the lab and switch around all the test beakers, just to show her a thing or two. But she didn't, that would require too much effort; plus she remembered that night was karaoke at the Dal and she didn't want to be late for it - so much heckling to do and only so much time.

Bo continued talking even though Kenzi had spaced out for a few seconds. "I mean, I know that I haven't been the greatest girlfriend in the world-"

The Goth quickly jumped to her friend's defense, "You've been busy training for the Dawning. I mean, I hardly saw you and you always need your Kenzi-fix."

Bo sighed and slumped her shoulders. She knew that she was focused on training for the Dawning and let her relationship slide and she felt guilty about that. "I know but I was really harsh with her with the whole Kitsune thing – I mean really harsh Kenz even after everything that she did for me. She and I agreed that I needed to feed off of others and then at the Club, she brought me back from my Succubitch self even when I threatened her!" Bo shook her head, feeling horribly with how things transpired.

"I healed with Dyson – which I can't put into words, how much that hurt her despite her understanding that it was just to heal. I totally missed her Award ceremony, which was a huge deal to her Kenz. You should've seen how excited she was. And then with all my training for the Dawning - I haven't spent much time with her. Plus, there's the whole feeding from others which I know is really hard on her – more than she would ever say but she's been super supportive; and then the whole Tamsin kissing me thing." Bo's eyes brimmed with tears. "I would even hate me for all of this."

The tiny Goth raised her head out of her coffee mug, "Yeah, about that. You still haven't said what the hell happened there!"

"Focus Kenz please! Look, there's no story. She kissed me, okay. It didn't mean anything to me but I feel guilty about it because I knew it would hurt Lauren. Plus, between training and the Dawning and things being strained, it never seemed like it was the right time to tell her... To be honest, I was scared to say anything 'cuz I didn't want to make things worse... and I don't even know what the hell got into Tamsin."

"Ok, now that I got the scoop – as uneventful as that was - I'm focusing. And for what its worth, Hot Pants doesn't hate you." Looking into her now empty cup, the Goth got sidetracked. "Sec, I need another cup of coffee." With that she hopped off the couch and made a beeline to the coffee maker; pouring herself another cup of caffeine goodness.

Bo's mind was whirling. "I have to make things up to her Kenzi. I have to tell her that I know that I've been a horrible girlfriend and that I want to make things right ad focus on us. I have to show her how important she is to me. Now that the Dawning is done, things can go back to normal."

The Goth made her way back to the sofa, coffee in hand; seeing her friend perk up, made Kenzi smile. "That's my Bo! So, what's the plan?"

The brunette had a smile on her face now. "Well, for starters, I think we should have some quality time tonight; have take-out and just hang out together. Re-connect. It's been awhile since we've had any alone time together."

The Goth slugged her friend in the shoulder, smiling. "Sounds like a good plan Bo Bo. I'm sure the Doc would love that."

With a renewed sense of confidence in herself and in the direction of her relationship with Lauren, Bo beamed. She looked forward to tonight and couldn't wait to spend time with her girlfriend after work.


	3. Brutal Honesty

**Author's Notes**:

This chapter borrows slightly from 3x10 but its still AU. Words in italics represent Lauren's internal thoughts.

Be prepared for some angst in this and the next few chapters. I hope that you will stick through it to see how things develop and progress for Lauren and Bo. I promise that there will be happier times ahead, just not right at this moment.

Thanks again to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart, for her advice and ideas.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - "Brutal Honesty"**

Light Fae Compound – Lab (early afternoon)

After her meeting with Hale, Lauren called Dr. Hernandez and explained that due to an unexpected situation, her schedule 'opened up' and she was willing to come to Brazil and assist in any way she could, however it was not guaranteed until she received authorization from Ash Santiago and the Elders. To say that Dr. Hernandez was elated was putting it mildly.

Mila, as Dr. Hernandez insisted she be called, was going to meet with her Ash ASAP, to ensure that the official request for Lauren's assistance be made to Ash Santiago. If this was going to occur, there could not be any political hiccups and Fae politics needed to be adhered to. Mila also stated that she would initiate all arrangements for her accommodations and any equipment that she would need in case approval was granted. She did not want to waste any time getting this endeavour started. After numerous thank you's and 'obrigado' from Mila, the doctors said their goodbyes and assured one other that they would keep each other updated as things progressed.

Lauren's thoughts were reeling and she had to keep busy in order to keep her thoughts organized and her emotions from surfacing. She would stuff them all down. She had to. A couple hours and finalizing of paperwork later, Lauren decided that it would be the best use of her time to leave work and start her own preparations in case she got the green light. So Lauren did something that she had never done before in her 6 years with the Fae - she left work at 3pm. It was so unusual, that her staff thought she was ill as she never, ever left work early.

Lauren's condo

Once at her place, Lauren quickly packed minimum clothing, essential toiletries, her laptop and her Congo research. Her time in the Army taught her to pack lightly when on the move. Only take what was necessary as excess equipment, meant excess weight, which wasn't smart when one needed to be mobile. If she needed anything, she would get it there when she was on the ground.

The next thing on her 'to do' list was to get her condo organized in case she was going to leave it vacant for an extended period of time. Granted, her place was already very organized and tidy, with nothing out of place; Lauren just wanted to ensure that certain items were properly secured such as the chemicals in her lab. The blonde's 'clean freak' persona came out in full force as she ensured that her condo was put into tip top condition for her possible absence - she made sure that her bed sheets were changed; the laundry done and put away; that every flat surface was dusted; the floor swept; and that the dishes were washed.

It was 6:45 p.m. when Lauren finished obsessing. With nothing left to do, she started growing restless and decided that she needed a tall glass of white wine to calm her nerves – she didn't want to give into her emotions and she needed to stop clock watching. Settling into the couch, Lauren looked around her condo as she absentmindedly caressed the stem of her wine glass. The thought that she could be in Brazil tonight or tomorrow and not be in these surroundings was startling. Aside from the odd trip away to treat Light Fae in remote areas, Lauren had never been away from the compound or her condo for more than a week at a time. If she went to Brazil, it would be her first time since she started with the Fae that she would be a significant distance away and for an extended period of time. The realization of this fact was scary yet exhilarating.

Not wanting to get her hopes up, Lauren tried thinking of anything else to deflect her emotions and anxiety. Normally, reciting the Periodic Table calmed her but in this instance, it wasn't working. Instead, Lauren swirled her wine and started to think about the health benefits of consuming it. As the blonde observed its color she started processing: Wine is a mild natural tranquilizer which can reduce anxiety and tension (hence the reason for a glass of wine in her hands). However, red wine may prevent coronary disease and some forms of cancer. The chemical component, Catechins, is believed to function as an anti-oxidant, preventing free-radical molecules from doing cellular damage. Furthermore, the compounds Resveratrol and Quercetin, which are found in the grapes used to make red wine, have shown to boost the immune system and block cancer formation.

Lauren sighed and stopped her wine and health introspection as the thought that crossed her mind was that Bo would be turned on by all her geek-speak; and the thought of Bo was too much for her at the moment. It was hard to believe that just 12 hours earlier, everything changed and her life turned upside down; maybe if she knew then what she knew now, she would've called in sick.

Light Fae Compound – Lab (flashback to 6:40 a.m. – earlier that day)

Lauren normally arrived at the lab between 6:30 a.m. and 7 a.m. in order to get caught up on work or to get a head start on the day. With most of the compound staff arriving at 8 a.m. she was able to work in peace and quiet with no interruptions, which was the way she liked it.

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, this morning was going to be full of interruptions. At the moment, the blonde was in her office, wrapping up a phone call with Dr. Mila Hernandez, the Chief Medical Doctor for the Light Fae clan in Brazil.

"I would be more than happy to make my research notes from the Congo available to you but I need authorization from Ash Santiago before I can forward them." Lauren explained.

"Of course." Dr. Hernandez hesitated before continuing, hopefulness tinged in her voice, "Would there be any possibility of you being able to visit and provide your insight and experience in person?"

Lauren was caught off guard. "I'm truly flattered that you would request my assistance… unfortunately my schedule is completely busy for the next few months. If things weren't so hectic, I would make the request of my Ash." The blonde felt guilty that she wasn't being more forthcoming but she needed to focus on her relationship with Bo. Things were so shaky between them and now that the Dawning was over, they would have time to concentrate on them; she couldn't do that if she wasn't here. Lauren knew that Dr. Hernandez had a huge scientific facility and state of the art equipment at her disposal that would more than handle this epidemic; however she would do everything possible to help her from here; whether it would be in the form of research; reviewing her notes; or providing consultation.

"I understand completely. I'm sure you can't blame me for trying." She gave a sad chuckle. "Any information or assistance you could provide would be greatly appreciated. And if your circumstances change, please consider visiting – we would be honoured to have you share your knowledge, experience and insight with us while we try to figure out this epidemic."

"It is I who am honoured that you would even consider my help. I will be sure to let you know if anything changes. Until then, I will do my best to get approval so that you can have access to my research notes." Lauren replied with a genuine modesty.

After ending that call, Lauren immediately dialled the Ash's assistant's number. Surok was the only other Fae that would be in at this time besides Lauren and the compound security; they both used these early off-hours to get caught up on work. The doctor wanted to meet with Hale soonest, so that she could convince him that Dr. Hernandez needed her notes. The epidemic there seemed to be similar to what she treated in the Congo; and with the high number of deaths incurred; her information could make a difference.

The phone only rang once before the Ash's assistant answered:

"Good morning, Surok."  
"I am well thank you. And you?"  
"Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment with the Ash; this morning preferably."  
"11:15 a.m. is the only opening? I'll take it! Thank you."

Now that an appointment was made with Hale, Lauren went to her filing cabinet to look for her research notes from the Congo. She really wanted to get this to Dr. Hernandez as soon as possible. In her concern for the situation in Brazil and being focused on looking for her files, she didn't see or hear Tamsin approach her office and knock on the door, effectively, making her jump.

"You startled me. What are you doing here at this time?" Lauren looked up at the wall clock in her office and noted that it was 7 a.m. Tamsin replied in her usual no-nonsense, sarcastic tone, "The early bird gets the worm and all that. I've come to pick up that autopsy report."

"Ah, yes. Just a second." Lauren fingered through some files in her In/Out Box and quickly scanned over one before handing it to the blonde Fae. "Here you go Detective."

The Dark Fae took the file and with a grin, said. "You can call me Tamsin you know. I don't bite… much."

Lauren was a bit surprised by the Detective; she was normally moody and didn't engage in small talk. Not knowing what she was up to, the blonde chose to take the safe route. "I prefer to keep things professional when I'm at work."

The Detective didn't drop the subject. "You don't like me much do you _**Doctor**_?" Tamsin emphasised the word 'doctor'. "You know, you can tell me the truth. I won't take offense. In fact, I rather prefer if people and Fae were more honest."

If the Dark Fae wanted honesty, Lauren would be happy to give it to her. She was tired of the Detective constantly badgering Bo; her borderline harassment of herself at work and at her condo; and her incessant sarcasm that she used as a weapon to cut people down.

"If you insist _**Detective**_." Lauren made sure to enunciate the word - two could play this game. "I don't particularly care for those who abuse their position of authority to manipulate people and situations. Or those who completely disregard evidence and ignore all the facts and information presented, despite their insistence that they seek 'justice'. When in reality, their only goal is to arrest my girlfriend for murders that she did not commit because the Morrigan wishes it. So, no, I don't particularly like you or what you stand for because you are dishonorable… No offense." Lauren didn't hold back and it felt good.

Tamsin was surprised by the Doctor's verbal assault on her honor and that she was being called out on disregarding facts because of the Morrigan's orders to arrest Bo at any cost. Despite the truth in her words, Tamsin wouldn't give the blonde the satisfaction of knowing that she hit a nerve. Instead the Dark Fae smirked which made the doctor a little concerned but she didn't let it show.

"None taken. Doesn't that feel better? Being brutally honest is freeing isn't it? It's like a weight has been lifted." Tamsin chose this moment to hit the good doctor where it hurt the most. "In fact, I'd like to be honest as well, if you don't mind. I've been carrying around something that I'd like to get off my chest."

Lauren was hesitant but she couldn't really stop Tamsin from saying what she wanted. "Sure."

"Did Bo tell you about the trial in Brazenwood?" Tamsin knew that taking this path would take the wind out of Lauren's sails. She knew that it was cruel but she needed to throw the doctor off, in the hopes that she would stop focusing on the Morrigan's intentions of wanting Bo captured.

The doctor nodded, "Yes, she had to go there to rescue a Squonk and you went with her to help, which she appreciated."

The Detective grinned again but this time it seemed devious, "I was glad to assist but I'm sure that's not all she appreciated."

Lauren knew that Tamsin loved pushing buttons and that she was walking straight into her trap but it couldn't be helped. "What do you mean by that?"

The Detective was almost bragging now, "Didn't she tell you that once the trial was over that we shared a _**moment**_ and kissed?"

Lauren was stunned. She couldn't believe what she just heard. "What?" She was so shocked that the words came out in an almost whisper.

Tamsin continued her casual confession, "Oh don't worry, she wasn't hurt or anything. Bo didn't take any chi from me. She is a damn good kisser though. After that kiss, I can see the fascination with Succubi. You are quite lucky Doc." Tamsin paused and smirked for dramatic effect. "Oh, and the celebratory champagne at your place was de-lish! I'm sorry that you weren't there as we toasted to your achievement."

Lauren lost it. She was livid at the gall of this Dark Fae standing in front of her; she was hurt that what Tamsin said was possibly true; that Bo was kissing Tamsin instead of being with her at her Award ceremony; and that they were at her place afterwards drinking the champagne that was meant for her and Bo. Her blood boiled and her eyes saw red; before she knew it, her hand connected with the Detective's face; the resounding slap sounding a lot louder than it should because of the lack of ambient noise in the lab. "Get out!" she hissed.

If Tamsin was surprised by the doctor's reaction, she didn't let it show. Instead, she had that infuriating smirk on her face as she recovered; her face still stinging from the slap. She knew that she deserved it and a part of her was glad and impressed that the human acted on her anger. "I guess not everyone likes brutal honesty." she quipped as she sauntered out of Lauren's office.

Lauren was stunned. Her thoughts and emotions were tumultuous; not knowing what to believe and how to process what the Detective just told her. _Tamsin kissed Bo. Bo kissed Tamsin._ Her body automatically fell into her chair.

Lauren's thoughts were conflicted. The scientific side of her tried to reason out all the possibilities but doubt got in the way each time:

_Tamsin had to be lying!  
But why would she lie? She has nothing to gain from telling me this._

_And if she doesn't like Bo and is still trying to pin the murders on her, how does hurting our relationship affect all these cases of dead Fae? It doesn't…. that just doesn't make any sense. _

_Besides, Bo would only kiss Tamsin if she had to heal.  
But Tamsin said that she wasn't injured; and Bo seemed fine the next day; she never mentioned being hurt to me. _

_Ok, so if Bo wasn't hurt, why would she kiss Tamsin? They don't even like each other.  
But they had kissed before with the whole Fae adolescent parasite incident; and they did seem chummier after Brazenwood… _

_Bo would never be unfaithful to me. She loves me.  
But you saw how she looked at Dyson after the Temple? _

_The Kitsune said that Dyson got his love back and that Bo knew. Yet Bo hasn't said anything and there was no doubting the intensity of the look between them after the Temple…._

_Something happened between them inside the Temple and Bo never said what it was. What else has she not told me?_

Lauren faltered. She couldn't think of any other arguments to explain this away. Logically, the only thing the Detective gained from telling her this was to hurt her; but that was intrinsic; there was no tangible or physical benefit. And Dark Fae do not care about a human being's feelings - they could care less. So, the only plausible reason was that it had to be the truth.

_Bo and Tamsin kissed. And it wasn't for healing. Bo took the one intimate, personal thing that was for them alone and shared it with another! _

Lauren's internal thought process stopped. Her heart couldn't take it anymore; her emotions and doubt were overpowering and unbearable. She couldn't think; all she could do was feel and it suffused her to the point that she felt like she was suffocating. She compromised so much to make their relationship work; but she was not going to compromise on this. She had had enough of constantly giving and giving and not even considered a priority - it was one thing if this treatment was coming from other Fae because they looked down upon humans but to be treated this way by Bo, her girlfriend, was the final straw.

Lauren had to lash out; all her emotions were going to erupt and she couldn't contain them any longer. She stood up quickly; the abrupt movement pushing her chair backwards into the wall. Anger, frustration and anguish coursed through her and with one swoop of her hand, she cleared a swath off of her desk; sending files, In/Out baskets, keyboard and mouse crashing to the floor. Her heart was broken; irreparable. Lauren's legs gave out and she fell to the floor behind her desk; sobbing uncontrollably.

She couldn't stop crying and she couldn't stop feeling. It was like a crack in a dam; the water slowly seeping out until the crack grew bigger and split wide open; the water forcing its way out; uncontrolled, forceful. Lauren's body shuddering as she sobbed. She sat there crying for about half an hour before finally willing herself to stop. Her staff would be in at 8 a.m. and she had to collect herself. She went out into the lab and splashed water on her face and brushed her fingers through her hair. Her eyes were red and she was emotionally drained. She went back into her office to get the bottle of eye drops that she kept in her drawer; she often used it for all those long days and late nights of working in front of a computer; it should help reduce the redness.

The blonde needed to compose herself; to focus on her work in the lab - that would be the only way to get through the day. _Focus! What was I doing before Tamsin_… at the thought of the detective, Lauren's anger flared and her heart lurched. Forcing herself to calm down, Lauren took some deep breaths.

_Ok, focus… I made an appointment with the Ash. I should note this down seeing that my thoughts are scattered._ With that, Lauren took out her Blackberry; went to her calendar and started to enter information under 11:15 a.m. _Ash – epidemic – Brazil (enter)._

Ever the scientist or maybe it was a quality of her anal retentiveness, the blonde double checked to make sure the information saved. There it was. _11:15 a.m.: Ash – epidemic – Brazil. _

_Brazil… _

Lauren paused; she felt a clarity that she hadn't felt in some time. _Brazil_. She couldn't handle being around Bo, much less how she was going to get through this heart break. If she could get away for a while, she could sort out her emotions and re-focus. If she could convince Hale to send her there to help, it would be a perfect opportunity to concentrate on science; help the sick; and heal her broken heart.

Lauren had a goal, now she just needed to come up with a plan. Coming up with solutions to problems was what she excelled at. She would consider all the options, possibilities, answers and reactions. She would think of a plan. She was good at thinking and she was done with feeling. Brazil was her answer.

However, first things first, she had to clean up the mess she made in her office. If she left it in this state, it would draw suspicion.

Lauren's condo (present)

*ring ring ring*

The sound of Lauren's cell phone ringing brought her out of her trance. She picked up her phone and answered, "Dr. Lewis."

It was Hale. "Doc. After conferring with Ash Medeiros; the Elders and I have unanimously agreed to approve your assignment to Brazil to assist with their epidemic. It would be to everyone's benefit if you could help in any way possible. And you will be afforded every courtesy."

Lauren was relieved and it resonated in her tone, "Thank you Hale. This means more to me than you can ever imagine. I will find a solution for them."

Hale was glad that he could help her plus, this assignment provided him with a huge political advantage. He had every faith in the doctor's abilities. "Serena will be there on site with you as Security. I have already talked to her about your protection. She will pick you up at 7:30 p.m. to take you to the airport."

The blonde nodded and realized that the Siren couldn't see her response. "I am ready."

Hale wasn't sure if he should say anything but figured that the doctor had a right to know. "Lauren… you were right."

The blonde didn't know what Hale was referring to. "About what?"

"Dyson… I spoke to him today. He got **_it_ **back before our battle with the Garuda."

Lauren was quiet. She was processing this information. She was emotionally numb. If anything, she was relieved that she wasn't imagining all the looks and strange behaviour from him; that this wasn't something that was in her head due to her insecurity. It was real – Dyson had his love back. She couldn't compete with both Dyson and Tamsin; nor would she. The only thing she had to offer was her heart and science and it seemed as if that wasn't enough anymore. Lauren was taking herself out of this game, and any residual doubt that she had about leaving Bo and going to Brazil was now cast aside. She knew that she had made the right decision. "Thank you for letting me know." she said solemnly. "I will be waiting for Serena."

Before they ended the call, Hale wished her luck and said that he would keep in touch via the satellite phone that Serena was issued.

Lauren sat quietly on the couch. This was happening - she was going to Brazil. This meant that for the next few months, she would have her reprieve; she wouldn't have to be around Bo while her heart was broken; and she wouldn't have to face the two Fae that also wanted her. Despite it all, she was still madly in love with her girlfriend but she just couldn't bear to be around her. It would only be a reminder of how their relationship failed; how much she loved her; and that Bo would be the last person that she would ever have any companionship, friendship or intimacy with, as long as she remained with the Fae; which meant till she died. The enormity of that endless bleakness clutched at Lauren's heart to the point that she physically grabbed at her chest.

Lauren held her tears at bay and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. _One thing at a time. Just focus on the here and now; and make the most out of this opportunity_. Lauren calmed herself down. Now came the hard part – letting Bo know. If she were honest with herself, she hoped that her girlfriend would be hurt and that she would miss her – that would mean that Bo cared at least a little; but in light of everything, she couldn't say with any certainty if Bo would feel anything; the thought of which saddened her greatly.

The blonde went over to the desk at her lab and took out a pad of paper, a pen and an envelope. This wasn't going to be easy but she had to tell Bo the truth about how she felt and why she was leaving; she had to do this before Serena came for her in 30 minutes. If there was ever a time to not hold back and express herself, it was now – she had to pour all her emotions out on to paper. This would be her only opportunity. She started to write.

_Dear Bo..._

TBC


	4. Second Chances and Goodbyes

**Author's Notes:**

Thank you to all those that have left a review – know that I look forward to all your comments; they provide me with much needed encouragement.

Also thank you to those who are following and who have set my story as favourite. It's a huge compliment.

As mentioned in the last chapter, the 'feels' will be ramping up, so please continue to bear with me. Doccubus is end game. And in light of how the show is going, we all need a reminder of why Doccubus resonates with us all.

Thanks again to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart. Trying to keep the hope and faith alive Neytiri.

* * *

**Chapter 4 -**"Second Chances and Goodbyes"

Lauren's condo

Lauren had just sealed the envelope and wrote Bo's name on it when she heard a knock at the door.

Upon opening the door, she wasn't surprised to see Serena there. It was 7:30 p.m. on the dot and in all her dealings with this Light Fae, she had always been very punctual. Maybe this was an Ignis trait – being able to generate and manipulate fire – this type of Fae had to be precise; controlled; and accurate. Or it could just be part of Serena's personality. Either way, punctuality was always something that Lauren appreciated in herself and in others. "Dr. Lewis." Serena said in a calm and professional tone.

"Good evening Serena."

"Are you ready Doctor?"

"Almost. I just have to do a quick check before I lock up."

"Is this everything?" as she indicated to Lauren's duffle and back pack.

The blonde nodded yes.

"I'll take your belongings to the car then."

"Thank you. I won't be long."

Lauren looked around her condo. It was hard to believe that she was actually leaving her 'home' even if it was only for a few months. This place was modern and comfortable but she wouldn't call it cozy. Yet it was her haven; her place of rest; and where she could relax, unwind and do whatever she wanted; and she did enjoy the space and privacy it afforded her. So, in all respects, it was her home these past 6 years.

Lauren's eyes travelled to where she left Bo's letter on her desk. She moved over to her lab and placed the envelope upright between two glass beakers, so that it would be more visible. She hoped Bo would read it but that really was beyond her control. With a sigh, she took one last look around; then walked to the entrance, turned off the lights and walked out the door; locking it behind her.

Serena was standing by the dark blue town car and upon seeing the doctor exit the building, opened the rear passenger door for her. When Lauren was seated, she shut the door after her and made her way over to the driver's side. Once behind the steering wheel, the Ignis buckled up, started the car and pulled away from the curb. Lauren could see her building slowly disappear in the side mirror of the car and released a deep breath once it was no longer in view.

After a few minutes, Lauren chided herself for her lack of manners and cleared her throat in order to get the Ignis' attention. "Serena, for what it's worth, I appreciate your accompanying me on this assignment. I know you weren't given much notice and most likely no choice. So, thank you."

Lauren observed Serena's face in the rear view mirror to see if there was any reaction but there wasn't. Even though she had asked Hale for her specifically due to their working well together in the past, she was still aware that she was human and Serena was Fae; and there was a distinct possibility that the Ignis didn't want to be on this assignment. If that was the case, it would be a very long 6 months. The blonde was about to say something when the Fae made eye contact with her via the rear view mirror.

"Is it true that you personally requested me for this detail?" Serena asked; no hint of emotion in her voice.

Lauren wondered what can of worms would her answer open; but seeing that she was all about honesty these days, she replied in the affirmative; bracing herself for the possibility of having a disgruntled bodyguard.

Serena was quiet for a couple of seconds before responding; ensuring that she made eye contact with Lauren using the rear view mirror, "Then it is I who should be thanking you Doctor."

The Fae's announcement surprised the blonde. One: Lauren could count on one hand how many times any Fae had thanked her; and two: that Serena was thanking her for being assigned as her bodyguard – which meant that she wanted this job.

Serena could see Lauren's mild shock and proceeded to explain. "Normally, my security assignments are being the back-up to the back-up for the Ash or an Elder; or guarding some worn down, cockroach infested warehouse. This is my first detail where I'm assigned a 'client' to protect; I'm not the back-up to the back-up; I'm _**it**_!" The normally stoic Fae was actually smiling now; Lauren could tell by the reflection in the rear view mirror - her eyes literally beamed.

"This is a fantastic opportunity for me. I will be in unknown territory – always on the move and having to adjust strategy to match the situation or possible danger. I will have to be on my guard at all times and it will test my skills. It's perfect!" Serena was actually excited. This was a side of the Fae that Lauren had never seen before; she was surprised that Serena even knew of this emotion as she was always so serious and detached. "Even the guys in my Section are envious that I got this detail and that I was personally assigned by the Ash! And because of the political ties with this job, it will most likely mean a promotion for me or at a minimum, better security assignments upon our return."

Serena paused for a moment and very seriously said, "Dr. Lewis, I do appreciate that you recommended me because you have provided me with a great opportunity and I won't ever forget it." The Ignis' eyes conveyed the seriousness of her gratitude and she smiled, which caused the blonde to relax and smile herself.

Lauren finally found her voice. "I'm relieved to hear that you're looking forward to this job and that you don't consider it to be a nuisance. Though, I hope that your opinion doesn't change when we're in the middle of nowhere." Serena shook her head, "I look at it as an opportunity to travel; plus it's hot there and I love the heat…. for obvious reasons." Serena smiled at her comment because she was an Ignis afterall.

The blonde continued smiling, "Not to squash any of your enthusiasm but I'm not sure how much _**action**_ you will come across in the Rainforest. And to be honest, I'd rather that you didn't as it would mean that I was in danger and someone or something wanted me hurt or dead."

Serena chuckled at Lauren's comment. "Understood."

The blonde was relieved that this was not going to be an issue. She had enough issues to deal with. Changing the subject, Lauren asked, "Anything you can tell me about our travel plans? All I knew was that you were picking me up at 7:30."

The Light Fae was focusing on the road. "We have a ten and a half hour flight to Brasília, the country's capital. Ash Medeiros wants us on the ground as soon as possible and as the next commercial flight isn't scheduled to leave until tomorrow night, he spared no expense and chartered a private jet to fly us there. It will only be the flight crew and the two of us onboard. He wanted to ensure that we would arrive soonest and that there would be no issues en route. By the time we arrive at the airport, the pilots should be finalizing their pre-flight checks and fuelling should be almost complete."

Lauren was surprised to say the least; she wasn't expecting any special treatment; the only thing she could vocalize was "Wow!" Serena agreed as she looked back at the blonde. "Wow indeed. They must really want and appreciate your expertise Doctor." Lauren smiled her response. It felt good to be recognized for her abilities; it had been awhile since she felt appreciated. Immediately, her thoughts turned to Bo and her heart grew heavy. Lauren thought that she would have more time to talk to the Succubus at the airport but from what Serena said, she may not have enough time. She'd have to deal with that when they got there. Until then, she sat back into her seat and willed herself to try and relax. Her nerves were shot and there was still so much yet to come; she didn't know if she would have the strength to handle the phone call to Bo or even what to say.

Serena watched the doctor grow quiet and pensive. She appreciated that Dr. Lewis must feel great pressure to deliver successful results with whatever this outbreak was. More importantly, the Ignis understood that for an Ash to expedite their travel arrangements and not hesitate with any expense, meant that the medical issue that they were facing was very serious and that a lot was riding on Dr. Lewis' medical knowledge and abilities. She would have to monitor the situation carefully to ensure that once the assignment was complete, that the Clan didn't forget that the doctor was on _**loan**_ and not there to stay. She would definitely have to keep an eye out on things and keep her Ash informed of their situation.

Meanwhile at the Crack Shack

Kenzi was in the middle of a blood bath. There were robot hooker corpses strewn about on the screen as her fingers deftly flew over the buttons of the controller; shooting, beheading and disembowelling her attackers. However, every 12 seconds, she would catch movement out of the corner of her eye and it was distracting; it was throwing her off of her killing streak.

The Goth paused the game and quickly jumped off the couch to intercept Bo who was pacing back and forth. "Yo, BoBolicious, what's the deal? If you keep pacing like this you'll wear a hole in the floor and I don't think we'll be able to find flooring that would match our wonderful décor." Kenzi gestured to their surroundings like one of the models from 'The Price is Right' would.

Instead of a witty comeback, all the petite woman got for a response was "Huh?" Bo was engrossed in her thoughts and didn't hear a word that the Goth said.

"What's with the frown?" Kenzi tried again. Bo looked up from her cell phone, "I haven't heard from Lauren and it's late – it's like, 7:30." she replied worriedly.

"I'll let you in on a 'lil secret." The tiny brunette leaned in close and whispered, "Hot Pants is a workaholic. But you didn't hear that from me."

The Succubus rolled her eyes, "Thanks for the news flash Kenz. I just really wanted to spend time with her and I'm anxious… This is like my second chance - I want to start things over right, you know?"

"I hear ya babe. Why don't you just head over there then?"

"I don't want to seem too-"

"Needy? Whipped? Nervous?" Kenzi interjected; a grin on her face.

The tiny Goth received her second eye roll in less than three minutes breaking the previous record.

Bo straightened up. "You're right, I'm over thinking this. I would normally just go over, so I should just do that."

Kenzi patted her on the shoulder, "Good idea."

The brunette chuckled, "You just want me out of your hair so that you can kill robot hookers without any distractions."

"Moi? Never!"

Bo grinned, "Right! Later Kenz."

The Goth was already on the couch resuming her game before Bo was able to shut the door behind her; car keys in hand.

Airport – a short while later

Lauren and Serena had just gone through Security and were approaching the gate for their plane. The blonde was getting anxious and turned to her body guard, "I have to make a phone call. I'll just be over here." she indicated to the window nearby. Serena nodded, "I'll take your bags over and talk to the flight crew to find out how much longer till we board." Lauren watched as the Light Fae walked over to the gate to talk to the staff.

The blonde took a deep breath and pressed '1' on her cell. She looked out the window at the tarmac, watching the baggage handlers load and off load luggage.

Bo picked up on the second ring. "Hey Lauren! I'm just on my way over to your place."

"Bo-" Lauren was interrupted by a very excitable Succubus. The brunette was anxious to see her girlfriend. She wanted to show Lauren how important she was to her and wanted them to spend some much needed time together. Bo knew that things were strained and she just wanted to start the process of fixing their relationship. "So what do you think of an evening of takeout and then cuddling on the couch as we watch a movie?"

Lauren was a bit taken aback by Bo's enthusiasm. The doctor was so emotionally drained right now – she was on the opposite end of the energy spectrum that Bo was on. "I'm sorry. I… I won't be able to."

Bo's eagerness faltered a bit, "Don't tell me you're still at the lab?! Babe, it's late and you need to relax. That's it! I'm turning around and coming to get you."

Lauren blurted out, "Bo, I can't. I'm on an assignment."

The Succubus paused, trying to concentrate on driving and trying to figure out what her girlfriend was saying. "Assignment? Does that mean you have a tight deadline and have to work late?

Lauren ran her free hand through her hair, she knew that this wasn't going to go well, "It means that I will be on loan to another Light Fae Clan to assist with their medical situation."

Bo still didn't understand this arrangement and pressed further. "So what exactly does that mean? Do you stay with them or are you free to come and go? Can you go home? Can you have visitors?"

Lauren didn't want to talk about this because time was short but she also knew that the brunette wouldn't be able to focus on what she had to say if she didn't understand the situation. Lauren sighed. "It means that I will be working and staying at their Compound or at their various sites and it would be very difficult to have visitors. But they asked for my assistance so I will be treated well."

Bo's mood went from excited to confused to angry in a matter of seconds. "I'll be the judge of that! The Light and the Dark always want something from you and it's always at a cost to you."

The blonde was about to placate Bo but was interrupted, "Just how long are you _**on loan**_ for?"

The doctor rested her forehead against the window and exhaled, causing the window to fog up. "Between two to six months." Her voice was almost a whisper.

Bo was stunned. "What? I didn't hear you correctly. Did you say months?!"

"Yes." Lauren's eyes were welling up with tears but she forced herself to not cry.

The Succubus was now livid. She pulled her Camaro over and put it in park; she couldn't focus on driving. "Is this Hale's doing? I'm going to kill him!"

Lauren knew that Bo was upset and she tried her best to keep her voice calm and unwavering despite the fact that her stomach was churning. "Bo, I asked for this assignment. Hale just agreed to it."

Bo was confused now and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to deflect the start of a headache. "I don't understand. Why would you ask for this? And where is this Clan anyway?"

The doctor moved away from the window; her free hand now at the base of her neck, trying to relieve the tension forming there. "I know you don't understand and I am really sorry Bo. I didn't want to have to do it this way but if I told you in advance, you wouldn't let me go."

There was an announcement in the background which sounded distorted over the phone. Bo tensed; concern evident in her voice. "Go where? Lauren where are you right now?"

The doctor was pacing back and forth in front of the window. "I'm at the airport."

"Airport?! Where are you going that requires you to travel by plane?" the Succubus exclaimed. Bo heard someone in the background. "_Dr. Lewis it's time to board_." Then everything sounded garbled and Bo could only guess that Lauren's hand was covering the mouthpiece of her phone.

A few seconds passed and Lauren returned to the phone. "Bo, please listen. I don't have much time. I'm going to South America – that's where the Light Fae Clan is. I left a letter for you at my place. It'll explain everything. Just use the hidden spare key."

"South America?! What the…!? Why would you ask for this?" Bo was in shock. "Is… is this because of us? I know that things between us haven't been great; I know that I've been distracted but the Dawning is over and I want to make things right. I want us to work." Bo was desperate and it was evident in her voice. "Lauren, please don't leave!"

Lauren's heart lurched hearing the pleading in the brunette's voice. "Bo, I am so sorry. I really am. This is already arranged – I couldn't get out of it even if I wanted to. I… I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you. Maybe things would've been different if I were."

Bo couldn't believe this was happening; that Lauren was leaving. "Babe, don't say that. You _**are**_ enough for me. You're all that I want! Just stay!"

The blonde's eyes were brimming with tears; her heart aching. "I know that this doesn't make sense to you now but please know this: I love you – I always have and I always will; whether you believe it or not."

The Succubus was trying to convince her girlfriend not to get on that plane but she couldn't get a word in. "Bo, just listen. Please take care of yourself. You have a habit of attracting trouble even when you're not looking for it. And look after Kenzi – she's still dealing with everything from the Kitsune. I'm so proud of you for completing the Dawning and you should be proud of yourself – for everything that you've accomplished these past 3 years."

"_Dr. Lewis!"_

"Bo, where I'm going – there most likely will not have any cell phone coverage or internet access, so I won't be able to communicate. I love you but I have to do this… Goodbye Bo."

Lauren ended the call and choked back her tears; she had a lump in her throat from holding in all her emotions. She refused to cry out in the open; she'd hold it in and then break down once they were in the air. She would will herself to be strong for a few minutes more.

"Lauren! Wait!" The line went dead. "Dammit!" She re-dialed Lauren's number. "_The customer you have dialled is currently not available. Please try your call again later_."

"No, no, no!"

She hit re-dial again. "_The customer you have dialled is currently not available. Please try your call again later_."

"FUCK!" Bo slammed her hand down on the steering wheel repeatedly. Leaning her head back against the head rest, she willed herself to calm down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, replaying the conversation in her head. A letter. Lauren mentioned she left her a letter. Bo threw the car in gear and peeled off towards her girlfriend's condo.

Lauren's condo

Bo ran through the hallway towards Lauren's apartment. Out of habit, she reached for the door handle to open it but it didn't budge. "Right. Locked." Bo muttered. She reached in behind one of the hanging plants that was mounted on the wall and blindly groped around till she found what she was looking for. In her haste to get into the apartment, Bo ended up fumbling with the key and it took her a little longer to gain entry.

Once inside, she noted that the apartment was dark and unnaturally quiet. Bo's heart was racing as she was afraid of what she'd find. She turned on the lights and quickly scanned the room. Nothing seemed out of place. In fact, the condo looked as per normal - incredibly clean and tidy.

Bo ran upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time. Once in the bedroom, she quickly looked through Lauren's closet and dresser drawers and noticed that there were some clothes missing. She made her way to the bathroom next and observed that some of her toiletries were also gone. "Shit!" The thought that this was all just a horrible practical joke crossed her mind but discovering that things were actually missing, made this all too real.

Bo made her way back down stairs and her eyes made another pass of the room.

Her gaze stopped at the lab. There was Lauren's lab coat, neatly draped over the back of the chair. Bo reached for it and instantly, Lauren's scent wafted to her nose; vanilla and a hint of hand sanitizer. The brunette brought the coat to her face and inhaled deeply; everything about Lauren flooded her senses. Bo was overwhelmed and felt her eyes well up with tears. Lab coat still in hand, she noticed an envelope on the desk and hesitantly reached for it. It was labelled 'Bo'.

Bo walked into the living room with the envelope in one hand and Lauren's lab coat in the other; and allowed her body to fall back into the couch. She didn't know what was contained in the letter but she had her suspicions. Bo didn't realize it but tears were streaming down her cheeks, catching her off-guard; she wasn't aware of how much this evening's emotional rollercoaster was taking it's toll on her and she hadn't even opened the letter yet.

The brunette took in a deep breath and exhaled before taking the knife out of her boot. She carefully cut the envelope open and unfolded the letter. She closed her eyes momentarily to steady herself. Bo wanted to know why Lauren did what she did but the other part of her was also afraid of knowing - that she may have been the reason why the blonde left. Bo sighed as she steeled herself; her eyes fluttered open and came into contact with the first line.

_Dear Bo,_

TBC

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Yes, I realize that this is a horrible place to stop and that it's incredibly cruel on my part. But in all honesty, this cliff-hanger was not on purpose, though it works really well here. The next chapter requires that the content be linked to the letter and if I separated the two, it would've affected the flow. So curse me out all you want, but please keep reading and reviewing.


	5. Dear Bo

**Chapter 5**** -"Dear Bo"**

**Author's Notes:**

There are some aspects of conversations taken from 3x05 and 3x10.

Sergeik – I wanted to PM you but couldn't through the site, so I'm reverting to a shout out here. I just wanted to say thanks for making a very valid point in one of your reviews about monogamy - I mentioned it in this chapter and I wanted to credit you for that. Thank you so much for all your comments and for sticking with my story.

And a huge thanks to everyone for all your love in the form of your awesome reviews and thoughts! You guys are the best!

Finally, thanks to Glasswrks for her advice; and to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart, for all her help and patience as I was seriously obsessing over this chapter.

Recommend listening to "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch, while reading.

* * *

_Dear Bo,_

_I am truly sorry that this is the way that you have to find out. It is not the way that I wanted to tell you but I knew that you would try to stop me from leaving if I said anything beforehand. I realize that this is a shock to you and probably doesn't make any sense. I do hope that by the time you finish reading this letter, you'll understand and maybe one day you will be able to forgive me for how I chose to handle this._

_I made choices out of love, responsibility and guilt; the consequences of which has me as a slave to the Fae. There is no escaping this reality and I have to accept it because I have to – there is no other choice. I have never told you how much this existence has taken its toll on me; granted, I am surprised as some days are easier to handle than others. I think perhaps a reason why I never said anything before was because to vocalize it only cements the harsh reality and utter lack of hope for anything different. And I also never wanted you to look at me with pity or to do anything rash that would cause you to get into trouble. _

_This pendant around my neck tells everyone that I am a ward of the Ash and under his protection; but to me, it represents my prison. To say that all these years with the Fae have been difficult would be putting it mildly. I had to walk away from everyone and everything that I knew and loved. I am constantly considered inferior and insignificant to the point that I sometimes believe it; I am valued for only one thing yet still doubted because I am human; and living this existence devoid of emotional support, friendship and companionship has filled me with an overwhelming loneliness that is indescribable._

_I have accepted that I will never have a normal life. I will never have complete control over my decisions – it can be over ruled or I can be thrown in the dungeon. I will never have happiness; a career; any recognition or appreciation for my efforts; have friends or a family. Such normal every day aspects of life are luxuries that are well beyond my grasp. These are aspects of a life that I signed away when I chose to save Nadia; or rather, when I was tricked into saving Nadia. I cannot even cry out for justice about this because as a slave, none is afforded me. So, I endure it._

_Why do I tell you this now? Because I want you to know that meeting you gave me hope when I never thought it would be possible. You were the light in my very dark, meaningless and emotionally void existence. You made me stronger so that I could handle my life as it is. With you, I was able to be myself comfortably and completely – something that I've had to hide these past 6 years; and I can't tell you how incredibly freeing it was, to just be me. You made me happier than I could ever imagine; and you opened up my heart and soul to love again, something that I thought I would never experience again._

_But these last few months, I haven't been happy. I haven't felt strong or confident. I have only felt empty, pathetic and lost. I told you in the past to accept who you are and to not change yourself for anyone or for any reason. It's time that I follow my own advice. _

_I've sacrificed so much for so long and I have nothing else to give – I am empty and I am tired. I gave you everything that I am Bo because I love you and I would do anything for you but the harsh reality is that it was never enough; I was never enough. And I feel that everything that I sacrificed was in vain – that it didn't make a difference to you; it didn't help our relationship; and in the end, I only feel used and taken for granted by the person I love with all my heart._

_I realize that there are things that you don't know because you weren't privy to or because I didn't tell you. For the most part, I truly believed that things would get better; that it would pass. That because our relationship wasn't typical, we would have atypical obstacles; and that as long as we were together and were open and honest, we could get through anything._

_I think we were like this in the beginning. We both tried to deny the inevitable, which was that you needed to feed off of others. I was willing to accept sharing that private, personal, intimate part of you that only I was supposed to experience. I'm not saying that you enjoyed this – I know you didn't; I know that it wasn't easy for you. I just want you to understand that it wasn't easy for me being on the sidelines knowing what was happening and being helpless to change our circumstances. However, it was knowing that you loved me and that you would always return to me that made this whole situation somewhat bearable. _

_Bit by bit, I felt myself giving more; bending more; because it was what was best for our relationship. I swallowed my hurt feelings when you fed off of Dyson. I understood that you needed to heal and he was there; and I would rather you be alive because you healed with him than be dead. But Bo, I don't know if you can comprehend how much that hurt me. To know that you had sex with your ex-lover, who had considered you to be his mate for life; a Fae that has made it no secret how much he looks down upon humans; and who has vocalized his derisive opinion of me on numerous occasions.  
_

_But still, I stood by you; even when you threatened my life. I stood by you because I believed in you and in us. I knew that our love for each other would allow us to weather any storm. However, I didn't take into account that our inability to communicate would be what would test us the most. _

_In order to feel useful and to help you in any way that I could, I worked day and night to try and create a formula to slow down your devolution but to no avail. The one thing that I was supposed to be good at – science – and I couldn't come through for you. That failure still eats at me despite your success with the Dawning. You were very understanding about my trying; but to me, it's the fact that I couldn't help you when you needed it the most. I considered it to be a failing on my part._

_When it was time for the Dawning and you went into the Temple. I was so scared yet remained hopeful. And when you were victorious, I was just so relieved that you were safe. I was so proud of you and what you had accomplished. But unfortunately Dyson suffered a fatal injury and you took chi from everyone in the room to revive him. I truly understand why you did what you did and I understood your pain in knowing that he had died to help you; but in the moment after he regained consciousness – it was only then that I believed what the Kitsune told me previously – that Dyson had his love back. I saw how Dyson looked at you and how you looked at him; and in that instant, I knew that the Kitsune didn't lie to me. I knew that you were aware that Dyson had his love back and you never told me. I felt our relationship weaken and it frightened me that you were hiding the truth from me. Did it mean that you were happy that Dyson had his love back and that you wanted to go back to him? Only you can answer that; but what I do know, is that in that instance, you made me doubt your love for me and it shook my belief in us and what we shared._

_But even with this realization that Dyson may want you back, I still wanted us to work. I wanted to believe that we could fix things and I desperately wanted us to try. I wanted to get past all this doubt. However, that all changed when Tamsin visited me early this morning; before you came to see me at the lab. She wanted to pick up a medical file for a case that I was working on and proceeded to tell me how she helped you with your training exercise in Brazenwood – which I was already aware of. What I didn't know - and which she was more than happy to tell me - was that at the end of the trial, you both kissed; that you didn't need to heal and you didn't take her chi. I thought: why would Tamsin lie? She had absolutely nothing to gain from telling me this except to cause me pain; and from the way that she took delight in telling me, I deduced that she was telling me the truth. _

_Our past conversations about dreams of wanting a family, the house with the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids, flashed through my mind. __I then realized that the reason you weren't there to support me at my Award Ceremony was because you were busy with Tamsin. I always looked past your Succubus nature to see the person you are inside and after everything we've been through, I never thought that you would stray; that you would betray me like this and not be emotionally monogamous; and that you would think so little of me. I guess I was wrong. _

_But I do have to acknowledge my own part in all of this which is difficult to admit. Because who really wants to confess that one feels insecure in their relationship? To do so is to admit that one feels weak and lacks confidence. But in the spirit of honesty, I do recognize that my insecurities affected things – maybe not directly, but rather, it indirectly affected my reactions and my feelings – a cause and effect of sorts._

_I know that as a human being, I will never be enough for you. It doesn't matter how much I love you – that doesn't change the fact that it is a failing of my biological make up that I cannot sustain you. Because of this, you have no choice but to turn to others to feed and I have no choice but to accept it. Knowing that it is my weakness as a human being that has put us both in this situation weighs on me heavily._

_I also know that because of my mortality, we will never grow old together. There would be times that I would think of this and wonder how you would feel after I'm gone; and how unfair and painful that would be to you._

_I am a slave to the Ash. Our relationship is frowned upon and to some, it is seen as an abomination. If Hale weren't the Ash, I most likely would've been thrown in a dungeon and punished a long time ago. I have only the freedom that they allow me. As such, my family and friends believe me to be dead. I am isolated and alone except for you. Your family and friends accept me because I am your girlfriend but if I weren't with you, I truly believe that they would have no dealings with me except in a professional capacity. Because of this, I battled with myself to not be clingy and to give you space whenever you needed it because I craved your companionship and friendship; your ability to care for me and protect me; and most of all the intimacy that we shared. I lived without all of this for so long that experiencing it was like coming upon an oasis in the desert._

_And finally, Dyson. He will always represent everything that I cannot give you and is a constant reminder that I will never be enough for you. He is free, unrestricted and can do as he wishes. He can provide you with the chi you need in order to sustain and heal you more than you can with a human being. He can live thousands of years by your side and provide you with a normal life, without fear of consequence. He will always be your first meaningful relationship since Kyle and as such, there is a connection that cannot be broken. It is for all these reasons that I have always been fearful that you would leave me for him. _

_With that said, the person you gravitated to was the last person that I would ever expect – the Dark Fae that wanted to imprison you - Tamsin. Nevertheless, I see the signs loud and clear - you made your choice and you chose Fae. I just wish you had respected me enough to tell me. I thought we meant more to each other._

_I told you once that the secret to any relationship is trust, understanding and compromise. I say this with a heavy heart but I find it difficult to trust you in light of everything that has happened recently with you and Dyson and Tamsin. And after all the obstacles that we faced together, I can't help but feel that I have compromised more and more of myself to make things work; and in the process, I lost my sense of self. This makes me feel insignificant and unappreciated - all things that the Fae make me feel every single day but which, I never expected you to make me feel. _

_I don't say this to be hurtful but rather to be honest, something that I suppose I have Tamsin to thank for. We have skirted around the truth to avoid hurting one another; or because there was always some Fae-pocalypse as Kenzi would say; or something more important that was always preventing us from addressing our issues. And I understand Bo, I do. You are meant for great things with the Fae and I was willing to share you because I understood that but to be repeatedly cast aside as if I didn't matter or hold any priority in your life? I can't do that anymore. I can't let you continue to treat me like that because I will grow to resent you like I do my 'masters'. I love you too much to go down that path._

_I can only tell you how I feel; whether or not you understand it, is beyond my control. I just wanted you to know why I've made the choices that I have. And that's why I'm making this decision - I'm walking away from our relationship before whatever we have left of our friendship becomes irreparable. _

_I love you Bo; more than I ever thought it was possible to love another. I will never regret our time together because you gave me more than you could ever imagine and at a time when I needed it the most. But I need to follow my own advice. I need to accept who I am and my situation and not change myself for anyone. I need time to regain my sense of self; to heal and to focus on my abilities. Science and medicine are all that I've ever had to get me through all these years with the Fae. I need time to concentrate on that because I can't get through another minute of another day in this life, feeling the way I feel right now - I won't survive. This assignment gives me the time and space that I need. Understand that I have to do this because I only have me to depend on; and right now, I am broken._

_For what it's worth, I am sorry for the issues that I brought to our relationship. I truly wanted us to work. I love you with all my heart and with all that I am. And I can't ever see that changing. _

_Take care of yourself Bo._

_Love always,  
Lauren  
_

* * *

Bo sat on the couch, numb; her thoughts and emotions a jumbled mess as Lauren's words raced through her mind. She sat there sobbing uncontrollably; clutching Lauren's letter in one hand and burying her face in the other; her tears meandering down her cheeks and fingers; her girlfriend's lab coat abandoned at her side.

Suddenly, her stomach lurched. She dropped everything, jumped off of the couch and ran to the kitchen quickly; finding the trash can just in time to retch into it. Bo went to the sink and washed her hands and face. She still could taste bile in her mouth despite rinsing thoroughly; she imagined it would be awhile before that taste would go away. After a few moments, Bo turned off the water and rested her hands on the counter. Leaning forward, she watched as the water travelled down the drain; the imagery not lost on her as she felt her own life spiralling out of control. Here she was with the Dawning behind her; being all too relieved that she didn't devolve; and all she wanted to do was to focus on her relationship with Lauren only to find out that she was too late; Lauren had had enough. Tears were flowing down her cheeks; and her heart felt wounded.

_How could I let things get to this point?_

_How could I be so blind to her pain?_

_And how could I be so caught up in myself to not know that I was hurting her?_

_How could I not know!?_

_I let Lauren slip away._

_And now she is gone. _

_I hurt her so much that she felt that she had to run away. __From me!_

_She said that she was broken. What she meant was that I broke her. _

_Lauren - the strongest, most patient, loving and caring person I know; and I broke her._

_Ha! Leave it to me to do the impossible. _

_I always wanted her to be free. Who would've thought that it would be me that she needed to be free from? _

_It takes some serious skill to break her down when the Fae couldn't after all these years; not even everything with Nadia…._

_God dammit!  
_

Bo wanted to lash out; to throw or hit something but there was nothing within reach. Maybe it was for the best, she didn't want to wreck Lauren's home. She wrecked enough of Lauren's life as it was.

_I really fucked this up!_

_I threw our relationship away._

_Lauren thinks that I don't love or appreciate her; and that I never considered her important._

_She thinks that I didn't choose her and that I used her just like all the other Fae have._

_She's everything to me! She is my heart; my love…_

_Yet she left here thinking that what we had meant nothing… that she meant nothing to me. _

_The person who she loved and trusted the most in her life made her feel worthless and unloved._

_God, what she must be going through._

The thought of the pain and sorrow that Lauren must be feeling right now because of her, sent another spasm through the brunette. Her body recoiled at the thought of how much she hurt her girlfriend. Bo turned and vomited into the trash can again. By the time she was done, her stomach was beyond empty and her throat raw from the physical exertion. Bo sat there, loathing herself.

She didn't know how much time had passed with her sitting on the floor; her elbows were propped up on her knees and her face was buried in her hands. Bo felt numb; her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with tears. The brunette didn't know what to do or how to feel. The only thought that registered in her mind was that she needed alcohol; lots of alcohol.

Bo stood up and made her way to the fridge. There she found a bottle of champagne and two bottles of white wine, one of which was open. The champagne was most likely left over from the night she was supposed to celebrate Lauren's award and it was yet another reminder of how she let her girlfriend down. Bo grabbed all three bottles and a corkscrew and placed them on the coffee table in the living room. With the open wine bottle in hand, she took a swig out of it while she walked around the apartment in a daze. She eventually found herself standing in front of Lauren's lab; her award perched on the desk. Bo took another mouthful of wine and with her index finger, gently traced Lauren's name which was engraved upon the award. Bo didn't think she could contain the sadness within her; she was drowning in it; the sorrow overwhelmed her. Seeing the physical reminder of how she took Lauren for granted – staring at her in the form of a glass award - she didn't think she could feel any more guilt, shame and anger for herself than she did right now.

Turning away, Bo made her way back to the couch, plopping down onto it. She felt hopeless and helpless. She tipped her head back and chugged back the wine, drinking it to the last drop. The brunette hoped that the wine would cleanse the taste of bile that still remained in her mouth but it didn't. Tossing the bottle to the floor, she opened the second bottle of wine and took a swig. Bo looked at the letter that was resting on the couch next to Lauren's lab coat and with her free hand, unconsciously wiped her cheek to brush away a stray tear. She knew that re-reading it would only reinforce the pain that she felt, but she also knew that she would read the letter over and over as it was the last thing that she had from Lauren. Bo also felt that she deserved to feel horrible for hurting the woman she loved. She reached out across the couch to pick up the letter and with a deep breath, started to re-read it.

Meanwhile thousands of miles in the air

Lauren was onboard a Boeing Business Jet 3 VIP Airliner. She was surprised that she absorbed that much information from the flight attendant's safety brief, seeing that she was in an emotional fog.

Lauren was focused on one thing – keeping it together until the seat belt sign was turned off. As soon as it happened she would make a bee line for the bathroom for privacy. Until then, she tried to occupy her mind. The blonde looked around the interior of the jet and was amazed by the lavishness contained within. The cabin was incredibly spacious, with leather seats, tables, a couple leather sofas, a full galley and a couple of LED TV's throughout. As she looked down the corridor from where she sat, she could see the bathroom and another area that looked like a bedroom. She was definitely flying in the lap of luxury.

A few moments later the seat belt sign was turned off and Lauren wasted no time in unbuckling her belt and making her way to the bathroom. It was the size of a full bathroom complete with a shower - at least four airplane washroom closets combined. The blonde was just relieved that she was able to keep herself collected; she locked the door behind her and allowed herself to crumble. Lauren sat on the toilet and cried. Even though she knew all the reasons why she made this decision, hearing Bo's voice pleading for her to stay broke her heart even further and made her doubt her actions - that maybe she was wrong and should've stayed. But the blonde knew that she needed to sort out her feelings and re-group and she couldn't do that there.

Lauren was physically and emotionally exhausted. It was an incredibly long day and she just wanted to not think or feel; just sleep. The rational doctor in her took over and forced her to do just that. She was on auto pilot now. She washed and dried her face to remove any signs that she had been crying. Her eyes were a bit red but it wasn't overly obvious - she could say that she was tired, which wasn't a lie. Lauren took a deep breath and exited the bathroom.

Serena had been observing the doctor. She knew that she was upset from her phone call in the airport and guessed that it might have something to do with the unaligned Succubus. The Ignis had heard rumours of their _friendship_ but never heeded it; it was none of her concern and didn't affect her. Now that she was assigned to protect the doctor, it may become her business whether she liked it or not. But she would leave it be for now; they were going to Brazil and would be far, far away from everyone that they knew. She would give Dr. Lewis the privacy that she obviously wanted and would not pry unless it was necessary. Serena looked up as Lauren approached her, saying that she was tired and was going to get some rest. The Light Fae nodded and said good night.

Lauren walked to the far end of the corridor where the bedroom was located. There was a curtain separating the room from the remainder of the cabin; providing the much needed seclusion that she wanted. In the space, there was a double bed covered with a white comforter and numerous extraneous pillows; a bedside table and a reading chair. Lauren undressed, remaining in her bra and panties. She took an item out of her pants pocket before carefully folding her clothes and placing it on the chair.

Once under the sheets, Lauren turned onto her side and sighed; tears resurfacing again. In her hand was a picture of her and Bo during happier times. They had taken a photo of themselves while they were on the couch in her apartment. She couldn't remember what they were laughing at, except that they were very happy and were enjoying themselves. She knew that she shouldn't have brought the photo with her but she couldn't bear not having a physical reminder of Bo, even though it defied all logic as to why she fought for this assignment. At the time of packing, she reasoned that it would act as a reminder of why she needed to get away. This photo was a 'catch-22' but right now Lauren didn't care; she was too exhausted. She had run through a gamut of emotions today and was physically and emotionally spent. Sleep was beckoning to her as her eyelids grew heavy. Within minutes she was asleep in the fetal position; the photo clutched in her hand next to her heart.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Trust me when I say that it wasn't easy to write as it took numerous revisions (thanks for your patience Neytiri!). So, when I said I was obsessing over it, I wasn't kidding. I wanted to get it right… I hope that I did.

With that said, I would really value your input for this chapter as a LOT went into it. If you have something to add, whether it be glowing or constructive criticism, I would really appreciate your thoughts**. **Thanks.


	6. The Day After

**Chapter 6 **- **"The Day After"**

**Author's Notes:**

- For Dr. Hernandez, I pictured the actress Nadia Bjorlin as that character. You can Google her to see what she looks like.

- There is a small portion of conversation taken from S01 E08.

- The time difference between Toronto and Brazil is an hour; with Toronto being an hour behind.

All I can say is that I'm humbled by all of your comments. Each review that popped up in my e-mail was a huge gift and an incredible form of encouragement. Thank you SO much! It means the world to me that you are reading "Time" and that you are happy with how things are progressing.

Again, in case there is any doubt through all this angst, Doccubus is still end game. Bo and Lauren each have their individual journeys; it will be emotionally difficult but necessary before they can proceed towards any type of relationship. So, thank you again for sticking with my story and I hope it holds up to expectations.

Thanks again to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart.

* * *

Lauren's Condo

Bo was asleep on the couch; laying partially on her stomach and on her right side, her left hand clutching her cell phone near her head; Lauren's lab coat bunched up in front of her body; and the empty wine and champagne bottles strewn about the floor nearby.

Suddenly the phone rang. Bo bolted upright and instinctively brought her cell to her ear.

"Lauren?!" she exclaimed in a half-asleep voice.

"_No, it's Kenzi."_

"Oh." the disappointment was evident in her tone as she rubbed her forehead with her free hand.

"_Don't sound so enthused or anything."_ Kenzi grumbled into the phone.

"What's up?" the brunette ignored her best friend's sarcasm.

"_We have that meeting with our new client in 45 minutes – you know, the one with the lady… cheating husband… blah, blah, blah. This is your wake up call_."

"Uhh, I really can't handle that right now Kenz. You mind solo'ing this?"

"_Is that code for you're in the middle of handling something else_?" Kenzi chuckled.

"No. I …. I just can't right now. Look, I'll owe you okay?" Bo breathed out. She really didn't want to be around anyone.

"_Fine. Mega shopping spree it is!"_ the Goth agreed, sealing their verbal contract; Kenzi was going to hold her friend to it as there were a pair of black leather boots that she had been eying; they were calling out to her to take them home.

"K. See you later." Bo ended the call, not waiting for Kenzi's response. She really was in no mood to talk to anyone right now and she felt the start of a headache forming.

Bo closed her eyes and sighed. She checked her cell for voice and text messages but there was nothing. She shuffled off of the couch; Lauren's lab coat falling to the floor. The brunette quickly picked it up and brushed it off; bringing it to her body and hugging it. Bo didn't care how silly it looked; the lab coat represented Lauren – her craft; her dedication; who she was - it was something that she used and wore every day and Bo found it difficult to detach herself from something that was so personal to Lauren. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing her in; her girl friend's scent triggering memories of Bo observing the blonde being all science-y; intently peering through a microscope; talking her geek speak; and followed by lustful thoughts of Lauren wearing nothing but her lab coat. After a few moments, Bo opened her eyes and allowed herself to come back to reality; her smile quickly disappearing. She sighed and carefully folded the coat before placing it on the couch.

Bo brushed her fingers through her hair, trying to get rid of her sofa-head hair. Her headache was intensifying. She knew that she should leave Lauren's apartment but couldn't leave this mess – it would bother Lauren. The brunette picked up the bottles and took them to the kitchen where she rinsed them out thoroughly before placing them in the recycling bin under the sink. She then grabbed a wet cloth and went back to the living room, wiping up some sticky spots on the coffee table and floor.

Bo took one final look around to make sure that she didn't miss anything and that the apartment was as Lauren left it. Even though most of Lauren's belongings were still there, the apartment lacked _energy_ - Lauren's energy. Bo thought back to a time when she had felt a similar feeling though it wasn't as intense - it was when she was a child and her grandparents would visit; there was always this _vibe_ in the house when they were there and after they left, that vibe or essence left with them, leaving a hole; an emptiness in the house. However, after a couple of days things would revert back to normal. Though in this case, Bo couldn't see that happening; she knew that the emptiness would remain, not just in the apartment but inside her as well. Lauren's essence was missing and she didn't know how things would ever revert back to how they were before.

It was time to go. Bo looked down at the lab coat; even though the blonde had a few belongings at her place, this coat was such an integral part of Lauren and she wanted to have it with her. Not hesitating, Bo gently picked it up. Without looking back, she walked to the door, turned off the lights and locked the door behind her, keeping the key.

Crack Shack (two hours later)

Bo had finished taking a shower and took some aspirin to try and get rid of her headache. Even though the shower made her body feel a bit more energized, she was still exhausted and her thoughts and emotions were a jumbled mess. Her body gravitated to her bed.

That's where Kenzi found her friend when she returned home from her meeting – Bo lying in bed on her side, cuddling a pillow; her cell on the bedside table. "Yo, Bo Bo whatcha doing in bed? You're supposed to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen while I bring home the bacon. Okay, well, not barefoot and pregnant but bacon would be awesome right now!" The thought of bacon made the Goth's stomach grumble.

"I just need to rest. Can you leave me alone please Kenz." Bo groaned out. Kenzi recognised depressed Bo; she was like this after she and Dyson broke up. Not one to listen to her friend, she jumped onto the bed behind the brunette, bouncing a bit on the mattress for good measure. "What's up Succubum? Trouble in Lewis-ville? I thought you two would be joined at the hip… in bed. Oh God! I just went there! Out visual, out!" the petite woman rubbed her eyes vigorously.

"She's gone Kenz. Lauren's gone." the Succubus all but whispered. Kenzi's joviality halted. "Gone? What do you mean gone?" Bo sighed and sat up against the head board; tossing the pillow and wrapping her arms around herself as if doing so would keep her together. "Lauren left me. She wasn't happy with how things were going with our relationship so she left. She is on some assignment for the Light Fae, somewhere in South America for like 6 months." Bo choked out the words; a lump forming in her throat as she kept her emotions at bay.

"South America for 6 months?! How'd this happen – she told you all of this during your romantic evening together?" Kenzi enquired, still not quite understanding.

"I never saw her last night. She called me from the airport to say goodbye and she left me a letter explaining-" the brunette couldn't finish her sentence and started to cry.

The Goth quickly moved over to her friend, hugging her as she sobbed; Bo clutched at her friend as her body shuddered. Kenzi's heart sank at seeing the brunette so despondent. To say that the Goth was shocked was putting it mildly. This was not something that she ever saw coming. She knew that they had some relationship issues but despite that, she thought that things were still good between them. She couldn't believe that Lauren would just leave; that she would hurt Bo again after everything they had gone through. Her anger grew as she started to process the information. "So she left you a 'Dear John' letter? That bitch!" Kenzi pulled away to rant, "When I get my hands on her…. I can't believe that she would hurt you again, after _**everything**_! I even believed her when she told me she loved you. We were even bonding. I was right when I initially said that she had a cold speculum for a heart!"

"Kenzi Stop! Just stop!" Bo found her voice; she didn't want to deal with any Lauren bashing. "She was right to leave-" The petite woman interrupted as she looked at Bo incredulously, "How can you defend her after she up and ditched you? You're a Succubus in a monogamous relationship! That's unheard of! That in itself shows that you're dedicated to make things work. For a brainiac, can't she see that?! And she doesn't even have the decency to tell you in person? That's just fucking cold! And don't get me started with the whole Ash spy-banging and Nadia!"

Bo's voice was surprisingly steady; interrupting her friend, "Kenzi, listen to me." The Goth stopped her tirade and looked at her. Bo took a deep breath before speaking. "When you ran away from home, you had your reasons; but you did it because you felt that you had no other choice; you left to survive and to protect yourself. You put yourself first and you did what you had to. What do you think Lauren is doing? She's trying to survive. She left in order to protect her heart; to protect herself."

Bo took a breath to collect her thoughts and her emotions. "After I told my parents what happened when Kyle… died, they didn't help or comfort me; in fact, they refused to listen; they didn't want to understand. Instead they put their religion and beliefs ahead of me, calling me a deviant, a whore and a sinner; that I was evil and had no morals. They were cold and cruel and said that I wasn't their daughter, essentially disowning me. When I ran away from home I was scared because I didn't know what I was but more than that, I felt so alone because they didn't support or protect me; they made me feel unloved, worthless and unimportant. And I've hated them for so long for making me feel that way."

Bo wiped at the tears rolling down her cheek. "Kenz, the way that my parents made me feel… I never ever wanted to feel that way again. So what do I do? I made Lauren feel that way instead. She ran away from me because I made her feel unloved, worthless and unimportant. Do you know how that makes me feel Kenzi? To know that I turned into my parents and that I treated the woman I love, the same way that they treated me?! She must absolutely hate me. I wouldn't blame her either. I would hate me too. So, please, just… just stop bashing Lauren. If anything, I'm the one who deserves it."

Bo's words sunk in. Kenzi had her reasons for running away from home and now she could somewhat understand what Lauren must've gone through – how desperate she had to be, to leave. The Goth moved closer to her friend, leaning her back against the head board; her hand resting on top of Bo's. "I'm so sorry Bo - for everything. I just wish I could make this better for you." The brunette adjusted herself so that she was lying down and cuddled up to Kenzi; one arm draped around her waist. "Do you want me to just stay here with you till you fall asleep?" Bo nodded her answer; all her crying; the admission of how much she hurt Lauren; and dredging up old memories of running away from home, had taken its toll. Kenzi sat there, gently rubbing small circles on Bo's back as she lay next to her. It wasn't long before she heard the change in her friend's breathing and she knew that Bo was sleeping.

Watching her best friend sleep, Kenzi was still not 100 percent Team Lauren. As far as she was concerned, the doctor broke Bo's heart and she wasn't as forgiving as her friend was. But she would bite back her criticism of Lauren for Bo's sake. With the Dawning behind her, Bo had a better handle on her Succubus abilities but she still was very impulsive and reactive. In her current state, Kenzi knew that she would have to keep a close eye on Bo to make sure she didn't do something reckless.

Meanwhile thousands of miles in the air

Serena knocked on the panelling outside the curtained room. "Dr. Lewis?" She could hear rustling.

"Yes?" Lauren replied groggily.

"We will be landing in an hour and a half. I thought you might want to freshen up and eat something before we arrive."

"Thanks. Umm, what time is it?"

"It's 6:30 a.m. I've left your duffle bag outside the curtain."

"Thank you."

Lauren sat up, rubbed her eyes and stretched. Even though she was still emotionally tired, she felt a little better after getting some sleep. The blonde put on the clothes that she left on the chair and grabbed her duffle bag. She then quickly rummaged through it for her toiletries and a clean change of clothes before making her way to the bathroom.

Feeling refreshed after her shower, Lauren returned to the room and packed up her belongings. She scooped up the photo from where it lay on the bed and forced herself to not look at it before she pocketed it away – she couldn't afford any sentimentality right now as she had to get her head in the game; they were almost in Brazil and she needed to concentrate on work. Making her way to the galley where Serena was seated, they traded good mornings before the flight attendant served them a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, mixed fruit and coffee. As they sat there eating, the Ignis briefed Lauren on what the pilot had told her – that they would be landing at 8 a.m.; there will be a driver waiting to take them to the compound; and it would be a 45 minute drive there. Once they arrive, they would be escorted to the lab where Dr. Hernandez will meet them.

As they sat there drinking their coffees, Lauren broke the silence and very sincerely said, "I just wanted to say thank you for your … _thoughtfulness_ yesterday and again this morning. It's been a trying few days and… anyway, I just wanted to say thanks." She was going to say 'kindness' but thought her bodyguard would be opposed to that _specific_ word being associated with her gruff image. She appreciated the privacy that the Ignis allowed her and that she didn't enquire about her phone call with Bo even though it was evident that she was upset last night. Fae have a tendency to not be sympathetic towards humans and normally, they would've made their belittling comments or observations known.

Serena wasn't expecting any thanks. In her line of work, she had become accustomed to being 'behind the scenes' where she would never be given a second thought or any consideration. Serena understood what the doctor had meant and it surprised her that Lauren had noticed; regardless, she didn't let her it show. "Not a problem, Dr. Lewis."

"You know we'll be working together for the next few months, you can call me Lauren."

Serena shook her head. "I cannot. You are my _client _and it would be unprofessional if I referred to you by your first name." To start calling the person one was assigned to protect, by their given name would create familiarity. Serena had to remain detached so that she could be objective and do her job effectively and efficiently. This was her first one-on-one security detail and it was at the Ash's request. It didn't matter that she was assigned to protect a human - she wasn't about to screw this up.

"I understand. I don't want you to compromise your professionalism." Lauren smiled at the Ignis; she wasn't surprised by her bodyguard's response.

When they disembarked from the plane, Lauren was surprised by how hot and humid it was; it was like she walked straight into a wall of heat; she was already starting to sweat.

"God it's humid! Don't you find it incredibly hot?" Lauren exclaimed.

Serena chuckled, "I'm comfortable."

The blonde rolled her eyes and smiled, "Must be nice to be an Ignis in this climate."

Serena grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

Lauren knew that it was going to be hot here but knowing and experiencing were two different things; but she would adjust to her environment, just like she did in Afghanistan and in the Congo and with everything else since.

It didn't take them long to clear Customs and Immigration and once past the luggage carousels, they saw a man holding a sign with 'Dr. Lewis' on it. He took their belongings and ushered them to a black town car.

Lauren stared out the window, deep in thought. Nothing registered; not even the lush landscape, shanty towns, buildings and people that they drove past. The blonde found it difficult to concentrate; her thoughts battling back and forth between Bo and how she must be feeling; to justifying her own actions to herself in order to reinforce her decision; and what she had to do here in Brazil. Everything was blurring together and Lauren physically shook her head to clear her mind. She knew that she needed to focus, so she started a mental checklist of things that she would have to do once she got into the lab. Before she knew it, they were pulling up to a large concrete building lined with black, tinted glass windows.

The driver escorted them into the building and directed them to some lockers where they could secure their luggage. He then took them through various security checkpoints before they arrived at an elevator which took them to a sub-level. Upon alighting from the elevator, they came across a set of double doors with a key card access pad next to it. Once their escort swiped his card, the doors opened into a very antiseptic looking waiting room - the walls, tiles and ceiling were all white; the only color in the entire room came from two large potted plants located in the far corners and the brown waiting room chairs along the wall. Directly across from them was a large glass window with a receptionist sitting behind it; and to the right of that window was another set of double doors with its own key card access pad. Their escort instructed them to ask for Dr. Hernandez before he turned and left the room.

Both Lauren and Serena watched as the doors shut behind him, making an audible clicking sound which indicated that they were now locked in the room. They both walked up to the receptionist and Lauren attempted to speak Portuguese through the holes in the plexi-glass window.

"Bom dia. Estamos aqui para ver o doutor Hernandez."

"Bom dia. Qual?"

"Excuse me?"

"Which Hernandez? There are a few Dr. Hernandezes that work here."

"Oh, I see. We are here to see Dr. Mila Hernandez."

"Which one?"

Lauren turned to look at Serena; her expression saying "Are you kidding me?" The Ignis just shrugged in response.

"I'm guessing that there is more than one Dr. Mila Hernandez?"

The receptionist nodded yes.

Lauren sighed.

"Dr. Mila Hernandez, the Chief Medical Doctor."

"Ah! Please have a seat while I page her."

"Thank you."

They weren't seated very long, when the double doors next to the receptionist opened; and two persons entered the room – one male and one female.

The man was easily over 6 feet tall and well dressed; had dark brown hair which he kept closely cropped; was ruggedly handsome; and his broad shoulders and muscular arms caused his white, long sleeve shirt to strain against his torso. If Lauren were to guess, she would assume he worked in the Security Section.

As for the woman that was walking next to him, she was absolutely stunning and elegantly dressed. Despite Lauren's heartache, she would have had to be blind to not appreciate this woman's exotic beauty. She was approximately 5 foot 6 inches; had flawlessly tanned skin; and long, wavy, black hair. The dark haired woman wore a lab coat over a cobalt blue, v-neck blouse and a black skirt which showed off her toned legs. But of all her features, it was her eyes that Lauren couldn't look away from – they were the palest blue that she had ever seen and were incredibly striking against her tanned skin.

As they approached, the woman flashed a dazzling smile, "Dr. Lewis?"

Lauren recognized the woman's voice from the few times they spoke on the phone and stood, "Hello, Dr. Hernandez." The blonde put out her hand to greet her but the woman ignored the gesture and instead put her hands on Lauren's arms and pulled her close; kissing her on her left cheek, then on her right and back again on her left, before pulling away. The blonde was mildly surprised but quickly realized that this must be a customary greeting in Brazil.

"Please Lauren, call me Mila. I apologize for keeping you waiting. My meeting went much later than expected."

"We haven't been waiting long, however there was some, umm, _confusion. _I guess there is more than one Dr. Mila Hernandez working here?" Lauren smiled awkwardly.

"Ah yes, right! I suppose that would cause some confusion. We are just accustomed to it here. Hernandez is a common surname around these parts and Mila is a popular female name." the dark haired beauty chuckled. "To avoid any confusion, I insist that you call me by my middle name, Nayara. Only my family and close friends call me Nayara, but I can tell that we will become good friends." Dr. Hernandez seemed sincere and showed Lauren her sparkling smile again.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you Nayara." Lauren said.

"And it's an honour to finally meet you Lauren. I am looking forward to working with you."

Lauren smiled in response and turned to introduce Serena. "This is Serena Thorne. She is a representative of Ash Santiago and she is also here to ensure my safety on his behalf. No reflection on your security, of course."

"Of course not, I understand completely. It's in an Ash's best interest to ensure their personnel's well being. It's nice to meet you." Nayara turned to the Ignis and greeted her in the same manner as she did Lauren. The blonde stifled a chuckle seeing how stiff and awkward Serena seemed by the greeting.

Nayara turned to the man that had accompanied her, "This is Carlos Arantes. He is our Chief of Security here." The large man nodded and shook their hands before handing them their security access cards attached to lanyards, which they promptly placed around their necks.

Dr. Hernandez turned to the two women, "Serena - Carlos will take you for a tour of the Security Section, while I give Lauren a tour of the lab. Then afterwards, we will meet with Ash Vicente Medeiros before continuing with a tour of the rest of the facility." She turned to Carlos, "We will meet you both in the Ash's office in 45 minutes."

Serena gave Lauren a look to determine if she was okay with being left alone and Lauren gave her a subtle nod saying that she was fine. Both Security personnel then left the doctors in the waiting room.

"So, I have a confession - my knowledge of Portuguese is _very_ basic." Lauren admitted.

The brunette smiled, "That's okay. I'm fluent in English. In fact, most of the Fae here speak English, so you should have no difficulty communicating with anyone."

"Maybe I'll be able to work on my Portuguese while I'm here." Lauren mused out loud.

Nayara smiled at the blonde and indicated to the doors, "Shall we?" Going through the double doors, the hallway diverged into three separate areas: one led to the lab; one to where patients were being treated and the other to a quarantine and decontamination area.

They went to the lab first which was impressive in terms of size and the level of technology. There were seven lab technicians present and every piece of laboratory equipment imaginable was available and located throughout. Behind the first section of the lab, were offices; testing stations complete with microscopes, Centrifuges and Coagulation Analyzers; fridges for storing samples; and filing cabinets.

They spent the majority of the tour in the lab and quickly walked through the patient and quarantine areas before making their way to the reception area of the Ash's office where Serena and Carlos were waiting.

They were escorted into the Ash's office, which was very formal yet inviting. There were a lot of wood carvings and furniture as well as plants everywhere; it was a stark difference from the décor in the labs. Ash Medeiros was a tall man, over 6 feet tall and dark skinned. He had long, tight braids that flowed neatly across his broad shoulders. He was also very handsome and well turned out in a crisp, purple long sleeved shirt with matching black tie, trousers and shoes. Lauren noted that it must be a Brazilian Fae trait to be good looking and well dressed.

Nayara introduced Lauren and Serena to the Ash. Ash Vicente Medeiros' movements were very fluid and the way he crossed the room, it almost looked like he was hovering above the ground; his eyes focused on Lauren. "Dr. Lewis! It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you."

The Ash had a smooth, deep voice which reminded Lauren of her first Ash. Thinking of him and how he changed her and Nadia's lives irreparably, made her clench her jaw; the masseter muscle taut under her skin. Forcing herself to focus on the present, Lauren allowed herself to relax and bowed out of respect, "The pleasure is all mine Ash Medeiros."

The Ash kept his attention on Lauren, completely ignoring everyone else in the room. "I won't keep you long as I know that you just arrived and there is a lot of work to be done. I just wanted to personally welcome you here. You have quite the impressive reputation and we need all the help that we can get to deal with this epidemic that is plaguing my people."

"Thank you Ash. I will do everything in my power to help." Lauren was aware that even though she was human, she represented Hale and his Clan. To say that there was a little bit of political pressure resting on her shoulders, would be putting it mildly. However, she quickly dismissed the thought as she had to focus on science and not politics.

"If there is anything you need; _anything_ at all; please make sure to let Dr. Hernandez know. Finding a cure is our number one priority." Medeiros stated firmly.

"I understand." Lauren replied.

And with that, the meeting was over. They all bowed and departed the Ash's office. Once in the reception area, Nayara turned to the two women, "So, before we continue, I'm sure you'd both like to settle into your rooms first and perhaps have some lunch."

"I've already stowed my gear in my room. However, I can meet you in the cafeteria after you are done Dr. Lewis." Serena said.

"That won't be necessary. I'd really like to get started on the case files, lab results, et cetera, et cetera." Lauren was going through her list.

Nayara smiled at the blonde, "I do appreciate your enthusiasm to begin but it would be remiss of me as your hostess to not ensure your comfort. I insist that we take your belongings to your room and you can get washed up before going to lunch. After we eat, we'll head straight to the lab and I'll answer all of your questions and provide you with all the information you need."

Lauren realized that she wasn't going to win this and reluctantly agreed; Serena used that as her cue to leave.

After the Ignis left, the brunette held Lauren's attention and very genuinely stated, "I would like to reiterate what the Ash said but at a more a personal level. To be honest, this epidemic has had us all perplexed. I am very appreciative that you are here to assist us in finding a cure. I know that there are no guarantees but just having you here, with your previous experience and knowledge of the Congo virus; already puts us at an advantage. So, I thank you."

"I promise that I will do my very best to help in any way possible Nayara." The blonde gave the doctor her patented shy smile, "Please, lead the way."

Nayara took Lauren to collect her bags out of the locker and led her through a separate section of the facility. The building was like a giant Y with multiple levels; the entrance and security were the stem; the labs and work areas were on the left and the dining hall/cafeteria and residential section on the right.

Lauren's 'room' was the size of a fully furnished one bedroom apartment complete with washer and dryer and a small study area. Even the kitchen cupboards and fridge were fully stocked with food. Nayara could tell that Lauren was surprised, "We wanted to make sure that you were comfortable. It's the least we could do for your coming here to help us. We realize that you wouldn't be here if your Ash did not agree to this assignment, but it is your vast knowledge and expertise that we need." Before Lauren could respond to the compliment, the brunette said, "How about I leave you to freshen up and I'll come back for you in 30 minutes?"

Lauren nodded, "Sounds good. I'll see you in a bit." And with that, Nayara left the blonde to her thoughts. She wasn't used to all this attention and appreciation of her skills and knowledge; it would take some getting used to. But more importantly, she started to feel the pressure to provide favourable results and she had only just arrived. The Ash and Nayara were obviously placing a lot of faith in her; granted she understood the enormity of the situation and that the Clan wanted as much assistance as possible to get this illness under control.

Lauren took a deep breath to calm herself; quickly reviewing her checklist. "_First get to the Lab; review files; look over Patient Zero information; look at all subsequent test results; examine patients; go to sites; take samples; conduct tests.._." Just creating a list of things that she needed to do, helped her focus on the goal and not on all the extraneous issues and emotions associated with it.

Lauren took her bags into the bedroom and then went to the bathroom to freshen up. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face. The blonde looked in the mirror; her mind reeling. All her planning was to get her to this point and now it was a reality. Now she had to deliver. There were no guarantees that she could find a cure but expectations from everyone, including herself, were high. She didn't doubt her abilities; she knew that she was skilled and she hoped that that would be enough; that and some luck.

She still had some time before Nayara returned and Lauren needed to occupy herself; she decided to check her cell on the off chance that she had any messages. To her surprise, she had six new voice messages; all from Bo. The blonde steadied herself as she wasn't sure what to expect.

_* Lauren, I'm so, so sorry. I __**never**__ meant to hurt you.*_

_* Please give me another chance. I really want us to try.*_

_* Lauren, I love you. Please call me. *_

_* I love you. Don't doubt that please. *_

_* Lauren, please call me. *_

_* Hi, it's me again. I… I just wanted to hear your voice and see how you were doing. *_

Lauren's heart broke hearing Bo; and from the sound of the Succubus' voice, she had been drunk and crying when she left these messages. The blonde didn't know whether she should call or not - part of her wanted to contact her so that she could hear her voice and the other part of her didn't know if she would be able to talk to her ex-girlfriend – she was hurt and angry and she wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to speak to Bo.

Lauren had to be resolute in her decision but Bo's messages had shaken her resolve. She stared at her cell, contemplating what to do.

Meanwhile at the Crack Shack

Bo was sound asleep. In her subconscious, she could hear her phone ringing. It took a few seconds for the sound to actually register, forcing her out of hibernation. She groped around for her cell as her eyes remain closed.

"Hello?" she mumbled.

"_Hi."_

Bo's eyes popped open immediately, "Lauren?! Baby, are you okay?"

Lauren sounded hesitant,_ "Yes... I just wanted you to know that I arrived safely."_

The Succubus was overjoyed that Lauren had finally contacted her, "I'm so glad that you did. How… how are things there?"

"_So far, so good." _She replied matter of factly.

Bo was in 'concerned' mode; Lauren was a human amongst a Light Fae Clan that she didn't know; it couldn't be easy for her, "Can you trust them? I mean, do you feel safe?"

"_Well, they really want my help, so there is no reason for them to hurt me." She said quietly._

The brunette was slightly relieved, "Okay… that's good then."

_The blonde sighed, "Well, I should get going. I knew you'd worry and I just wanted you to know that I got here safely."_

Bo pleaded, "Lauren, please talk to me."

Lauren was frustrated,_ "I don't know what else there is to say Bo. My letter said it all."_

Bo choked back her tears, "I know I messed up. I messed up royally. But I want to try. I love you Lauren. You're all that I want."

Lauren's temper was starting to flare and it was reflected in her voice_, "I don't think you know what you want Bo."_

The brunette was taken aback by Lauren's tone, "What do you mean by that?

The doctor erupted,_ "What do I mean? I mean Tamsin! The two of you kissed! Can you deny that happened?"_

Bo hesitated, "No, I… I can't deny that but it's not what you think-"

The blonde wasn't holding back anymore._ "Really?! If that's the case, why didn't you say something before instead of my finding out from Tamsin?"_

Bo didn't know how to respond and instead silence filled the air; the lump in her throat growing; this wasn't how she expected their first conversation to play out.

Lauren's anger intensified,_ "Just as I thought! You have no idea what I think and you know even less about how I feel! You say that you love me but if you did, you never would've done this to me." _

The Succubus couldn't hold back her tears any more and sobbed, "I'm so sorry Lauren. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"_I know that you didn't mean to Bo, but you still hurt me. Repeatedly. I won't be your doormat! There's a long line of Fae ready to treat me as such. I won't let you treat me that way."_

Bo was begging, "Lauren please… give me another chance! I want to make things right."

Lauren sounded defeated,_ "I don't have it in me to try anymore, Bo. Life is too short. MY life is too short. I'm only human after all."_

She couldn't believe this was happening. Bo couldn't let things end like this, "What about us? Are you willing to walk away from us so easily?"

Lauren's voice sounded distant,_ "Bo, I didn't walk away. __**You**__ threw our relationship away. There is no __**us**__. I… I can't do this. I have to go. Goodbye."_

The call ended abruptly.

"Lauren? WAIT!" Bo cried out.

Bo suddenly bolted upright in bed screaming "WAIT!" Her hand clutching at her chest as tears streamed down her cheeks; her heart beating fast. It was just a dream. But it felt incredibly real. The Succubus was relieved; she knew that she wouldn't have been able to handle it if that conversation had actually happened. However, as relieved as she was, she couldn't stop thinking about what 'dream' Lauren told her. Bo wondered if Lauren really felt that way. If she did, could she convince her otherwise? How could she make things right between them? The brunette knew that she needed to figure out the answers to these questions if she wanted to win Lauren back.

Bo rubbed her eyes and exhaled; blinking the sleep out of her eyes. As she glanced over to her bedside table, she noticed that the light on her cell phone was blinking, which meant that she had a new message.

Bo checked her cell; there was a text message and it was from Lauren. She took a deep breath and exhaled before reading:

* _I just wanted you to know that I arrived safely and that they are treating me well here. I didn't want you to be concerned. *_

It wasn't a love note but it wasn't angry either; Lauren texted her out of consideration. Bo took that to be a positive sign. After the emotional, angry dream she just had; she would take a hopeful, considerate, lukewarm text any day. She realized that she was grasping at straws but she didn't care; this was a baby step and she was thankful for it.

TBC


	7. All Work and No Play - part 1

**Chapter 7 **– part 1 **"All Work And No Play…"**

**Author's Notes:**

I apologize for the delay with this chapter. Real life stuff and writer's block are to blame. Here's a longer chapter than normal to say thanks for your patience.

- Please note that this is the beginning of Bo's and Lauren's individual journeys and it charts how they start to cope after their break up.

- The next few chapters will alternate between Bo and Lauren – this is necessary to develop their individual progress while they are apart; so keep this in mind when you don't see Bo in this chapter.

A huge thank you to everyone following and reviewing "Time"!

Special thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart for helping me through my writer's block and for all her suggestions; and to bluebunnyRAFI for providing me with information on Brazil – supper is for you blue! ;)

* * *

Light Fae Compound – Brasília (day three)

These past few days were a whirlwind with Lauren working through lunch and supper and late into the night after everyone had left the lab. The blonde absorbed all the information that she could and was making great progress on the files and notes that she needed to review. Unfortunately, this meant that she was forgetting to take care of herself – something that Bo used to remind her to do by either bringing her meals or convincing her to take breaks. So far, her meals consisted of a big breakfast in the morning in the dining hall which carried her through the day and when she returned to her apartment late at night, she would have toast or cereal for supper.

Living with the Fae, Lauren had to master her ability to mask her emotions; this made others think that she was cold and uncaring. The fact of the matter was that the doctor was very passionate and having to hide how she felt all these years was exhausting. With Bo, she was able to put down those walls and be herself; to feel; and to not hide who she was. It was very liberating and Lauren didn't realize how much she had missed that part of herself as it was deeply hidden away. But that freedom was gone and now that she had to revert back to these measures, she was finding it difficult to do so. When immersed in work Lauren was able to hide her feelings, however when there was no distraction, there was nothing preventing her emotions from rushing out; causing her to drown in the hurt, pain and loss of her relationship with Bo.

Because of this, the blonde wasn't getting much sleep. It was during the quiet moments laying in bed and waiting for sleep to take her, that her thoughts would always drift to Bo; and the emotional pain she felt was unbearable. Lauren just wanted the world to stop spinning for awhile - to stop long enough so that she could catch her breath and recover; to see some semblance of her old self again. She was tired of everyone and everything around her functioning while she felt as if she were slowly dying inside.

She knew that the world would continue to spin on its axis and that life would continue to operate around her regardless of how she felt but it didn't change the fact that she just wanted to scream the pain and emptiness away. After the last two nights of not being able to sleep, Lauren was desperate. She took a pillow into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As she stood there in the middle of the room, she covered her face with the pillow and screamed into it as loudly as she could; she screamed till her legs buckled and she couldn't scream any more; the pillow and the water masking her sounds. It was a release; albeit temporary; but it helped nevertheless. She wiped her tears away and turned off the shower before crawling into bed. The emotional release left her physically exhausted; and dimmed her thoughts to a dull roar so that she could fall asleep. The doctor knew that this wasn't healthy but when all she wanted to do was sleep, she didn't care what she did, as long as she achieved the desired results.

Morning came quickly and Lauren was anxious to resume work; it was her constant; her reprieve. It was only her fourth day at the compound but she already had her schedule set. Wake up early, have a hearty breakfast and be in the lab for 7:00 A.M. The doctor was normally the first to arrive and could be found in her office at the back of the lab with stacks of files on her desk. Lauren had copious amounts of notes, patients' files and test results that had to be reviewed and she wanted to get caught up on everything; she needed to have a strong understanding of this epidemic before diving into any field work and experiments.

The blonde was absolutely focused on the task at hand – not just because she wanted to find a cure for the disease; but she also needed the distraction. When she was working, it meant she wasn't feeling or thinking about Bo; her heart ache; and their failed relationship. Being in Brazil was also a return to her medical roots – combining medicine and research to develop a cure for a disease that caused pain, suffering and death. It also wasn't lost on Lauren that this situation mirrored the start of her career when she was in the Congo. However, this time around she was more knowledgeable, skilled and experienced; she was aware of the Fae; and she had all the support and equipment necessary to work on finding a cure.

* * *

It was almost noon when Serena left the Security Section and made her way towards the lab. There wasn't much need to guard the doctor while they were in the compound as the facility was extremely secure, however, it didn't stop the Ignis from checking in on the blonde a few times a day.

Serena thrived on routine, regardless of where she was working, so being in Brazil was no different. Her day's schedule comprised of meeting with Carlos Arantes in the morning to review the security policies and procedures for the compound and the various camps and bases that they would be travelling to when in the field. She also began familiarizing herself with the geographical maps of those areas and received briefings on the latest incidents between the Light and Dark Fae in the area - tensions between the Fae clans were high, so altercations were common. The afternoons were reserved for providing Ash Santiago with a quick Situation Report or SITREP; and sparring with the other security staff or training on her own in the gym.

Since they arrived, Serena had observed the doctor's routine and assumed that the blonde was just overwhelmed by all the information that she had to process; and that she would eventually settle into a sensible schedule. However, from what the Ignis had seen so far, she didn't think that would happen any time soon. Dr. Lewis looked tired; she had dark circles under her eyes and her face was gaunt, most likely from not eating enough. It was obvious that the doctor wasn't taking care of herself. Serena knew that the blonde was a workaholic and that something personal happened prior to leaving for Brazil; she didn't know the details of why the blonde was preoccupied, nor would she pry, but she had a strong suspicion that whatever was going on with the doctor was linked to her relationship with the Succubus.

As a body guard, Serena's job is to take care of and protect her client; however, if her client couldn't even manage the basics of having three square meals a day and getting rest, then, it would make her job difficult. She wasn't about to let anything happen to the doctor nor was she about to fail at her first solo assignment. Serena would ensure that the blonde took care of herself even if she had to force her to do so.

Serena entered the lab and made her way to Lauren's office where she knew the doctor would be engrossed in whatever file she was reviewing.

The Ignis knocked on the door, "Dr. Lewis."

Lauren looked up and seemed to take an extra second to focus; blinking away the information that she was reading and instead concentrating on the person that was interrupting her thought process. "Serena, hello. How are you? How can I help you?"

Serena stood at attention at the edge of Lauren's desk, "I am well thank you. Everything is fine. I am here to accompany you to the dining hall for lunch."

The blonde looked at the wall clock, not realizing how quickly the hours had passed by and that it was noon already. She returned her attention to Serena, "Thank you but I'm right in the middle of something. I'll just go later."

The Ignis expected this response, "You misunderstand doctor; I am not asking. I will wait." And with that, Serena remained standing by Lauren's desk.

It didn't register with the blonde that her bodyguard literally meant what she said. Lauren didn't intend on ignoring the Ignis; she was only going to read till the end of the page before insisting that Serena proceed without her, but instead she quickly got caught up in the material that she was reviewing. When she looked up fifteen minutes later, the Ignis had not moved from her position – she was as still as a statue. The blonde exhaled deeply and rubbed her eyes; she realized then that Serena would not leave her office unless she went with her to the dining hall. Lauren bookmarked the page in the file and closed it as she stood up. Serena gestured towards the door, "After you doctor." The Ignis smiled as the blonde walked past her.

It was almost 12:30 P.M. and the dining hall was packed; finding an available table was going to be like trying to find Waldo during Carnival in Rio. Both Serena and Lauren had their trays of food and were scouring the room for a place to sit. Fortunately, Nayara saw when they entered the hall and had the foresight to save two chairs for them when some people got up from her table; she waved them over.

"Thanks for the seats. We were going to resort to sitting on the ground outside." Lauren said as she sat across from the doctor.

Nayara smiled at them both, "You're welcome. It's good to see you outside of the lab Lauren. I was beginning to think that I would have to pry you out of there."

"Serena did actually." Lauren confessed as she focused on her salad and avoided eye contact with both women.

"Well, then, it seems that you beat me to it Serena. I was thinking of resorting to extreme measures." the brunette chuckled.

The Ignis nodded. She knew that Nayara was an observant woman and was probably also assessing Lauren's work habits.

"Oh, Nayara, when we get back to the lab, could you provide me with-"

The brunette interrupted Lauren and flashed her, her patented dazzling smile, "I am going to stop you right there. No 'shop talk' while we eat. You need to give your brain a break, enjoy your meal and socialize a bit. When we return to the lab, I would be more than happy to provide you with whatever you need."

The Ignis gave Nayara a look that said 'well done'; Lauren didn't notice as she was a bit taken aback.

"I'm sorry; it is sometimes difficult for me to switch out of work mode." Lauren said sheepishly.

The doctor nodded, "Trust me, I do understand. I used to be like you. I just don't want to see you burning yourself out like I did. You need to make sure that you pace yourself – don't miss meals; take breaks; don't live in the lab; take time to talk to others about anything other than work; get a change of scenery; and make sure you get plenty of rest."

Lauren knew that Nayara was right but it was hard to change, especially since she did not want to be idle – the emotional consequence of that was just too much for her.

The blonde smiled, "I know you're right but it's easier said than done. I always need to keep occupied; that's why I've been working late – to keep busy."

Serena piped up, "If that is the case, I can help you there."

They both turned their heads towards the bodyguard; it was rare for the Ignis to talk in a social setting, so they were a bit surprised.

Serena ignored their looks, "Boxing is a great way to let off some steam and it would also give you something to do in the evenings."

"I, uh, am not sure about that." Lauren stammered.

"I think that's a great idea Serena!" Nayara exclaimed. "I used to box to relieve stress – it was a great outlet for me. I'm sure you will enjoy it."

"Umm, I don't have any sports gear. I didn't bring any with me." Lauren said; she hoped that this fact would end all this talk of trying to occupy her time; all she wanted to do was continue her research in the lab.

"That won't be a problem. I'm sure that I have something that will fit you." Nayara offered. "Tell you what, we can go to supper together around 5:00 P.M. and then after we eat, we can walk back to my apartment and I'll lend you some clothes. What do you say?"

Lauren was hesitant but she knew that she couldn't get out of this, "Sure. Thanks."

"Now that the logistics are sorted out… I'll pick you up at seven o'clock so that we can head to the gym." Serena wanted to make sure that the blonde was clear that there was no escape.

"Sounds great." Lauren said unenthusiastically.

* * *

Light Fae Compound - Gym

Lauren had brought a pair of sneakers on this trip but needed to borrow a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from Nayara. The brunette was curvaceous like Bo and so the clothes weren't an exact fit for the blonde, but it was still comfortable and not too loose on her frame.

Serena was punctual as always, knocking on Lauren's door at 7:00 P.M. They both walked to the gym in a comfortable silence. The doctor was thankful for that; some people felt the need to fill the silence with unnecessary conversation; Serena wasn't like that and it was refreshing. She appreciated what Serena was trying to do for her; it wasn't that she was against exercising; she just felt that there were better things that she could be doing, especially since she was only in Brazil for a short period of time. In her mind, every minute spent away from reviewing files and test results; was a minute taken away from finding a solution.

Once in the gym, Serena grabbed a pair of boxing gloves for the doctor and a pair of hand pads for herself. She gave Lauren a quick run through on the proper boxing stance – weak side forward; eyes on the opponent and chin down; and taught her the three basic punches: jab, right cross and left hook.

To practice, Serena put on the hand pads and had the doctor hit them; calling out the punches slowly till Lauren was comfortable with the punches and the foot work associated with it. Once the blonde got the hang of it, the Ignis picked up the pace, moving her around the gym floor and varying the punch combinations. By the time they were done these drills, Lauren was sweating and breathing hard.

From there, the Ignis moved the doctor over to the other side of the gym to do some heavy bag boxing drills. It was Serena's intent to make sure that Lauren got a good work out in order to release any stress and frustration. She showed Lauren the proper way to hit the heavy bag to avoid spraining her wrist and taught her the 30-30-30 method. This drill comprised of three rounds lasting 30 seconds each. The first 30 seconds had Lauren hitting the bag at regular speed, using all punch combinations; for the second 30 seconds she would 'ride the bike' which meant hitting the bag as fast as possible, keeping her legs constantly moving as if she were jogging on the spot; and for the final 30 seconds, she would hit the bag as hard as possible so that every punch would be a knock out. Once the first set of 30-30-30 was done, Serena had Lauren take a one minute break before resuming again. This was a physically demanding workout, so doing a few sets would tire anyone out.

By the time they left the gym, Lauren was drenched in sweat and physically exhausted; she knew that she would ache all over tomorrow. They walked back to the doctor's apartment and said good night. Once inside, the blonde just wanted to crawl into bed but instead forced herself to have a quick shower and changed into her night clothes. Lauren was asleep shortly after her head hit the pillow. It was the first time in weeks that she didn't think about Bo and all their relationship issues before falling asleep.

Light Fae Compound - Lab (day five)

The next day Serena arrived at the lab to escort Lauren to lunch. The blonde was not expecting her but she was also not surprised. However, this time, the Ignis did not have to wait and as such, there was no difficulty in finding a place to sit in the dining hall.

It had been so long since Lauren had a good night's sleep that she forgot what it felt like to be well rested and energized; she knew that her workout last night was the reason for it even though her muscles were incredibly sore. Lauren thanked Serena for taking the time to teach her how to box and asked if they could continue doing so a couple days a week. Serena agreed to continue training with her. Internally, the Ignis was more than happy to oblige as it was good to see that the doctor was acknowledging that she needed to take better care of herself.

* * *

Back in the lab, Lauren was reviewing some test results when Nayara knocked on the door to her office.

"Hi, how are things going?" Nayara asked.

Lauren looked up and smiled, "Things are going well actually. It took awhile but I think I'm caught up on all the notes, files and test results. Aside from seeing some of the patients and comparing tests; I'm ready to head into the field – to see things at the source as it were." The blonde was happy to have finally finished reviewing everything; it was incredibly tedious but necessary before she could move forward with research.

"That's great!" Nayara was pleased to hear about Lauren's progress. "For the _field_ portion, the Base Camp is located on the outskirts of São Paulo, which is as close as we can get to the outbreak in Mata Atlantica, the Atlantic Forest. Normally, we have a ten day rotation there – we set up at Base Camp and then drive or hike to the villages to see and treat patients and gather samples. After a week and a half, lab and scientific teams swap out - this gives us the chance to process all the samples and information that we collected; while the other scientific team takes over. Then we do it all over again in another ten days."

Lauren was anxious to get started, "I'm really looking forward to starting this phase. Now that I've completed reviewing all the background information, I can begin tackling the issue at hand."

Nayara looked at the blonde and smiled, "I've been thinking… You've been here for five days and I haven't had the chance to thank you or welcome you to Brazil. I'd like to have you over for supper tonight."

Lauren shook her head, "There's no need to thank me Nayara. I haven't done anything yet."

The brunette put up her hand to stop the blonde, "Lauren, please. I normally check the access logs for the lab – since you arrived, you've been in the lab early before everyone and you're the last to leave late at night. You've poured over every single file, test result and research note that we have. You have already proven that you are devoted to the cause. If your work ethic is any indication … well, I know that you will always give 100 percent. So, _please_ allow me to say thank you. I would love to properly welcome you here by cooking you a traditional Brazilian meal."

Lauren acquiesced; she also found it difficult to refuse the brunette while she looked at her so intently with those beautiful pale blue eyes. "Sounds good. I can't remember when last someone cooked for me."

Nayara winked at the blonde, "It's a date then. I'll see you at 7:00 p.m."

Lauren balked at the word 'date' but as she watched the brunette walk away, she couldn't help but admire how beautiful Nayara was and that her dress accentuated every positive aspect of her figure. The blonde physically shook her head to stop herself from staring; she felt guilty for ogling Nayara who was her peer and who was only being nice to her; not to mention the fact that she had only just gotten out of a relationship. Lauren had to stop thinking of how beautiful Nayara was and the best way to do that was to submerge herself in the stack of test results on her desk.

* * *

Nayara's apartment

It was seven o'clock when Lauren knocked on the Light Fae's apartment door. She wore a white three-quarter sleeve shirt over a pale blue tank top, blue jeans and a pair of brown sandals. Nayara opened the door and looked absolutely beautiful in her red and yellow sun dress and black strapped wedged shoes. The brunette greeted Lauren, kissing her on her left cheek, her right and back again on her left.

"Whatever you're cooking smells delicious!" Lauren remarked as Nayara showed her to the living room couch.

"It's moqueca de camarão. It's a common Brazilian dish; essentially, it's a shrimp stew. The shrimp is marinated in garlic, lemon juice and various spices; it's cooked in a tomato puree and coconut milk with peppers and spices; once cooked, it's served with rice. It's quite tasty."

"I'm sure that it is. I'm looking forward to trying an authentic Brazilian meal."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Please. Do you have beer?"

"What kind of question is that? Do I have beer? Do you not realize that you're in Brazil?" The Fae winked at the blonde causing Lauren to smile.

Nayara returned with two bottles.

The blonde took a sip. "That's pretty good." She looked at the brand, "'Antarctica'? I've never heard of it before."

"It's one of our popular beers." Nayara replied as she absentmindedly played with the label on the bottle.

"Thank you again for the invite." Lauren looked the brunette in the eyes, "I meant it when I said that it's been a long time since anyone has cooked for me. It may seem insignificant but it means a lot…. to me anyway."

"How long has it been since someone has cooked you a meal?" Nayara inquired.

"Umm, about six and a half years."

"Really?! Well then, I'm honored to be your _first_ after all this time." Nayara smiled.

Lauren wasn't sure if the brunette was flirting with her or if she was just making a joke; so she chose to ignore it and just enjoy a normal evening between co-workers.

* * *

"That was absolutely delicious, Nayara. You are a wonderful cook." Lauren complimented her hostess as she helped clear the table.

"It was my pleasure. I'm glad that you enjoyed it." The Fae replied genuinely. "Thanks for helping me clean up."

"It's the least I could do." Lauren replied as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Why don't you sit on the couch while I make us some tea?"

Lauren watched Nayara as she put water to boil and gathered some tea cups. "So, I've been meaning to ask you something since I arrived but never had the chance before now."

The Light Fae's curiosity was peaked. "What did you want to ask?"

"I noticed that the humans and Fae in the compound are, for lack of a better word, very _friendly _ towards one another. There just seems to be an amazing sense of camaraderie overall. I'm not used to seeing humans and Fae openly mingling and socializing with each other and in large numbers. Am I reading things right? "

Nayara chuckled, "Yes, you're quite perceptive. There is definitely a very strong working and social relationship between humans and Fae here."

The Fae grew serious, "Six months ago, the presence and growth of pathogenic biological agents were discovered in Mata Atlântica - the Atlantic Forest on the South East coast. We didn't know the method of transmission for this disease – was it airborne; could it have been genetic; was it passed via touch, ingestion, blood or bodily fluids? We had all these questions and the number of casualties was increasing."

She paused to collect her thoughts. "We had to act quickly and carefully; because of all these unknown factors, we had to build and set up Quarantines in various cities to take the necessary precautions of not spreading the disease to others as well as to ourselves. All of this took time; time that we needed to treat the sick. Fortunately, it was determined within the first week of the outbreak that Fae were the only ones affected. So even though we didn't know how the disease was transmitted, our human employees were able to go to the infected areas; they treated our sick and isolated them by taking them to make shift quarantine areas; once permanent quarantine facilities were built, patients were transferred there."

Nayara smiled sadly. "Our human counterparts were vital. For the first four months of the epidemic, they were the only ones who were able to deal directly with infected Fae before they were brought to quarantine. Humans took care of; treated; and buried those that contracted the disease. The death toll so far is 2,348; however, if it weren't for humans, that number would have been substantially higher. We recognize and appreciate humans for what they have done for us and because of that, the Fae-human relationship changed from the single minded thought of humans only being valued as a food source to something closer to a symbiotic relationship. I know that it's not a complete transformation of old ideals but it's a move in the right direction."

"It's definitely a huge step towards a better understanding and esprit de corps between humans and Fae. It's a shame that it had to take an epidemic to change thousands of years of thinking. I can only wish for your clan's epiphany to spread to other clans… starting in Toronto." Lauren smiled a bittersweet smile.

Nayara handed the blonde a cup of tea as she sat down next to her. The brunette had been meaning to broach a subject with the blonde ever since she arrived but there was never an appropriate moment. "Lauren, do you know what type of Fae I am?"

The blonde was a bit surprised by the question, "No. I normally do not ask."

Nayara nodded her understanding, "I'm an Empath."

"Your species has the ability to feel exactly what someone else feels and you know what's needed to make them feel better. You feed off of emotions." Lauren excitedly explained what she knew of Empaths; however her excitement quickly diminished as the realization of Nayara's abilities sunk in.

Nayara smiled at the doctor's knowledge of her kind; Lauren never failed to surprise her. "That's correct. However, when I feed off of someone's emotions, it diminishes that emotion temporarily. I can also replace one emotion with another, for example I can take someone's anger and make them feel happy instead."

"I wasn't aware of that aspect of your ability. I've never met any of your species before. Though, from what I read, your kind are normally very cool and stand-offish in order to stay detached; this prevents any chance of becoming overwhelmed by the emotional environment around them…. You do not reflect the textbook definition of your species." Lauren slipped into her detached doctor persona and tried to keep her feelings at bay; she felt awkward knowing that Nayara must have been able to sense her emotions all this time.

The brunette sensed the shift within the blonde. "Lauren, please do not feel uncomfortable around me. I'm over 2,200 years old and I've more than perfected my ability to shield myself so that I don't have to be _detached_. Because of this, I can adapt my interactions with others based off of what I sense from them."

"I see." Lauren still felt awkward.

Nayara feared that the blonde would react this way before she told her of her Fae background and tried to allay her concerns. "Right now, I can sense that you're trying to rein in your feelings. You don't have to."

Lauren hated not being in control and knowing that her emotions were exposed put her on the defensive, "Are your feeding off of me right now?!"

The Empath realized that what she said only made the situation worse and in a soft, calm voice explained, "No, you misunderstand. For Empaths, _sensing_ does not include feeding. Because I sense how you feel that doesn't mean that I've fed from you. I know that you would feel, for lack of a better word, _violated,_ if I did that. I respect you and would never take from you unless you wanted me to… I would only feed from you if you asked; and know that I would _never_ ask you."

The blonde took a deep, calming breath but still felt uncomfortable.

Nayara continued to explain, "You have been nothing but professional since you've been here but your emotions are… intense. It was only obvious to me because I am an Empath. I've felt what you've been feeling since the first day we met... It has been very difficult to ignore."

Whatever sense of calm Lauren was able to muster quickly dissipated and frustration took over, "It's not like I'm flaunting it. I'm doing everything I can to keep how I feel contained-"

Nayara didn't want the blonde to feel guilty or uncomfortable over how she felt; and gently held Lauren's hand. "I didn't say you were. I just want to help."

"Help how?" Lauren was struggling to maintain her composure and it felt as if the walls were closing in, making it hard to breathe.

"I think you need to talk to someone. I'm a great listener and would be happy to listen if you wanted to talk. I just… feeling the way you feel… it must be incredibly difficult holding it all in."

Lauren quickly pulled her hand out of Nayara's grasp and stood up suddenly, "I think I should leave."

Nayara didn't expect this reaction. "No, please! I didn't mean to upset you."

The blonde wasn't listening. She needed out of the apartment. She needed to be in control of her emotions and it was quickly slipping away. If she didn't leave now, she wouldn't be able to rein it in and she would crumble. That was something that she couldn't allow to happen in front of anyone, much less Nayara; it was bad enough that the brunette knew how she felt. This made Lauren feel weak and pathetic.

The Empath felt the emotions racing through the blonde and chose to act. She rushed ahead of Lauren and blocked the door, preventing her from leaving.

"I don't want to talk about it!" the blonde's voice was starting to waver.

Nayara quickly bridged the gap between them; her eyes softly peering into Lauren's as her hands reached out to brush blonde hair but Lauren put her arms up to deflect the soothing gesture. Before Lauren could say a word, Nayara grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Let me go!" Lauren exclaimed as she tried to free herself.

The brunette didn't let the doctor's attempts to free herself deter her; she just continued to hug her and gently said "I'm not letting you go" into blonde curls.

"I'm not letting you go." The Empath repeated softly.

Lauren's eroding emotional barrier was no match for Nayara's warm embrace and soothing words; the last of her walls came crumbling down as she wrapped her arms around the brunette and started to sob.

Nayara just held her while Lauren cried; her body shuddering against her. The blonde had kept all her emotions buried and now that she had released them, she couldn't stop nor did she want to. This was the first time that Lauren received any comfort from anyone since she left Bo and as much as she didn't want anyone to see her break down, it was a relief to finally have some solace.

The Empath continued to soothe her while she cried; she meant what she had said to Lauren – she wouldn't feed from her unless the blonde asked; she just wanted her to get through her emotional pain and be happy.

Once Lauren's sobs subsided, Nayara gently guided her to the couch and handed her a handkerchief.

"Would you like something to drink? Tea or water or…?" Nayara asked.

"Something stronger if you don't mind?" Lauren said as she wiped her cheeks and nose.

Nayara returned with 2 cold beers and adjusted herself on the couch next to Lauren; angling herself so that she was semi-facing the blonde.

They both drank in silence; Lauren trying to compose herself and Nayara giving her time to recover and decide what she wanted to do.

When the silence was finally broken, it was by Lauren. She needed to talk and Nayara was the closest to a friend that she had. She told her everything – how she came about to be with the Fae and her time with them; her love for Bo; all the sacrifices she made for love; how difficult being in a relationship with a Succubus was; their issues; her insecurities; Dyson's and Tamsin's part in their break-up; she didn't hold anything back.

Nayara listened and by the time Lauren stopped talking it was well after midnight. The blonde was exhausted but also felt as if a weight had been lifted. She knew she still had a long way to go to mend her broken heart but this was a good start.

"I think you should get some sleep – you're tired. Take my bed and get some rest. Okay?" Nayara suggested.

Lauren nodded; she didn't have the energy to argue or dismiss the plan of her staying over at Nayara's for the night. She felt drained. By the time the Empath tucked her in bed and exited the bedroom, Lauren had already fallen asleep.

The Empath put the tea cups and beer bottles in the kitchen sink and grabbed herself a blanket as she made herself comfortable on the couch. Nayara was at least glad that Lauren had acknowledged her pain - that was a first step. She couldn't imagine how the blonde managed to get through the last six years of her life - the revelation of what she went through only made the Fae respect Lauren's fortitude even more. The brunette closed her eyes; she was also tired from the evening's events. She didn't know what to expect in the morning – if Lauren would close herself off again or not; she hoped after tonight, Lauren would realize that she could trust her.

* * *

Light Fae Compound – Brasília (day six to nine)

After Lauren told Nayara about her life with the Fae and her relationship with Bo, instead of emotionally distancing herself as she would normally do, the blonde decided to just be herself with the Empath and to cast away her discomfort about Nayara's ability to sense her emotions. Allowing herself to cry in front of someone and to talk about her problems was more freeing that Lauren could ever imagine.

In doing so, Lauren and Nayara became good friends within a short period of time. When in the lab, they entered into numerous discussions about the etilology and vector of transmission of the disease. Outside of the lab, they spent most of their meals chatting about anything and everything; and they socialized together on the evenings when Lauren wasn't boxing with Serena. It had been a long time since Lauren had a friend and it was a very easy friendship as they both had a lot in common. Plus, the Empath was also a scientist which meant that she understood all the blonde's geek speak. In fact, when Lauren told her, her 'Why do chemists like nitrates?' joke, Nayara couldn't stop laughing. It made Lauren smile, knowing that the joke would have been a hit at her Award Ceremony.

Having a friend made Lauren feel the most normal she had ever felt in a long while. Even though the blonde could be herself when she was with Bo, her being human was always an issue – it made her feel weak and it helped create a fissure in their relationship. With Nayara – there were no strings; no issues of her humanity being a liability; she was just able to be herself and it was liberating.

TBC

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Reviews are like gold! Please comment – I need the ego boost and all the help I can get to fuel my motivation and to keep the incentive going. Thanks!

I promise that my next post won't be as long a wait. Pinky swear!


	8. All Work And No Play - part 2

**Chapter 8 **- **"All Work And No Play…" **- part 2

**Author's Notes:**

- This is a continuation from the previous chapter. It was way too long so I had to break it into two parts.

- I know that you are anxious to find out about Bo but to maintain flow and character development, this chapter has to be here to reflect Lauren's experience. With that said, I assure you that it will be worth the wait.

I can't say enough how much it means to read your reviews and comments. I value your opinion about the characters, scenes, story progression, realism, etc.; so a huge thank you to everyone who has left me a comment / review; and thanks also to those following.

Special thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart - thank you for all your advice and awesome insight. It's greatly appreciated.

* * *

Light Fae Compound – Brasília (day 10)

It was early morning and Lauren and Serena were preparing to leave for Base Camp in an hour. They were each doing their final checks before meeting.

The Ignis had finished packing and was double checking that all her personal weapons were safely stowed. Aside from the fact that she was a walking weapon; Serena loved blades and had a propensity to use throwing knives, Shurikens and throwing stars. She had already provided Hale with an early SITREP to let him know that they were headed into the forest and communication may be intermittent even with a Satellite Phone. If there were any issues, the Compound would contact him immediately.

Meanwhile, Lauren was in her apartment conducting a final check of her back pack to make sure that she had everything that she needed. She was anxious and nervous. Going to Mata Atlântica represented her reason for coming to Brazil – to investigate the epidemic and to treat it. She was excited about starting this aspect of her assignment and the fact that she absolutely loved field work made this phase even more exciting. More importantly however, Lauren desperately wanted to help Nayara and her Clan find a cure for this disease and she hoped that she would be successful in doing so; she didn't want to fail as too much was at stake.

The blonde had to do one last thing before meeting up with Serena and Nayara. She opened her dresser drawer and pulled out her cell phone; she was about to turn it on to check for messages but her thumb hesitated over the power button. A part of her hoped that there was a message from Bo; but the other part knew that if there was a message, it would only be upsetting and she just didn't trust herself not to go running back to Bo at this point; she needed a clear head before heading out in the field. Lauren sighed and tucked the cell back into the drawer. She then took out the photo that she'd been carrying with her everywhere; it was worn around the edges from being constantly held, looked at and shoved into pockets. She was about to place it next to her cell phone but stopped herself; instead she closed the dresser drawer and placed the photo back into her pocket. "_One thing at a time_." she thought.

Light Fae Compound – Roof top

Lauren and Serena had their gear and were on the roof top with Nayara getting ready to board a helicopter. The Empath explained that the Base Camp was just outside of São Paulo in Mata Atlântica and was a 90 minute chopper ride there. As the remainder of the scientists from their team were from São Paulo, they would be the only ones flying in from Brasília.

Once in the chopper, they all buckled in and donned their headsets. It was Lauren's first time in a helicopter since she left Afghanistan and the experience quickly triggered memories from that time of her life: fear, apprehension, exhilaration, sense of duty and pride. Nayara looked over at her friend at the sudden change in emotions but the blonde smiled, indicating that she was okay. Lauren's reminiscing quickly faded as she took in the beauty of the landscape below her. Nayara was right, the view was spectacular.

The helicopter flew over lush green forests, mountain tops and mangroves; long, winding rivers and roaring waterfalls. As they gazed out at the wondrous landscape below, the Empath gave them a little history about the Atlantic Forest; that though adjacent to the Amazon rainforest, the Mata Atlântica had always been isolated from its larger and more famous neighbour; and it in fact was more ancient than the Amazon. Furthermore, being cut off from other tropical forests has allowed the Atlantic Forest to evolve unique ecosystems, which harbour a large number of species that are found nowhere else on Earth.

As they were about to land, Serena reminded Lauren about the tension between the Light and the Dark; and that even though security was in place she still needed to be careful when outside the confines of the Base Camp. The blonde nodded her understanding.

When the helicopter put down in a clearing, the Empath explained that it would be a 10 minute ride to Base Camp. As they alighted from the chopper, the security personnel quickly ushered them into one jeep and placed their gear into another before driving them towards the Camp.

Base Camp – near São Paulo (Mata Atlântica)

Lauren did not know what to expect as they approached the Base Camp. It was circular in shape with only one way in and out and its perimeter was completely surrounded by a 15 foot tall wooden barricade. As they drove in, the blonde got a better view of the Camp's layout. There were military styled tents throughout – some large and some small but with sufficient space between each so that there was no congestion.

As Nayara gave them a tour, she explained that a few Base Camps were erected throughout Mata Atlântica in order to expedite travel to and from the various villages for data collection. Due to the fact that a cure hadn't been found and no one knew how long it would take to find a cure, it only made sense to create semi-permanent structures with magical wards surrounding them for added protection against attacks.

If the Base Camp were the face of a watch, the entrance / exit would be at 6 o'clock; the large tents were in the foreground and closer to the center - they comprised of the Quarantine and Lab tents at 7 and 8 o'clock respectively; and the meal and security tents were at 4 and 5 o'clock. The smaller tents were two tents deep and housed all the staff. They were located in the back part of the Camp along the edge of the perimeter, from positions 9 to 11 and 1 to 3; with the washrooms and bathrooms located at the 12 o'clock position. The jeeps and ATVs were parked between the entrance and the centre where the arms of the clock would be; the large generators were next to the lab; and between the vehicles and the washrooms, there was a section that was cordoned off which housed a fire pit and some benches.

The Empath continued to explain that each Base consisted of 20 staff: seven scientists; eight security personnel / drivers; three cooks; and two maintenance personnel. Every member had their own tent – with the scientists normally on the 9 to 11 o'clock side as they changed out every ten days; whereas the rest of the staff had their own tents assigned as they remained on site.

Nayara showed them to their tents. It wasn't the Taj Mahal but they would be comfortable - each tent had a cot and clean bedding to sleep on, complete with a mosquito net; a locker to put their belongings in; and a table and chair.

Once they dropped off their gear and settled in, Lauren and Nayara made their way to the Lab and Serena to Security. The first day there was spent reviewing the previous shift's notes – which villages they went to; what samples they gathered; if any other Fae became ill; and if so, how many. They also determined which villages they were going to visit during their 10 day stint.

As head of this scientific team's shift, Nayara liaised with the head of security so that they could determine what route to take and the time allocated for each village. Depending on the location from the Base Camp, the scientists could visit one to two villages a day before returning to Camp.

* * *

Lauren and Serena quickly fell into the Camp's routine. Lauren, Serena and Nayara travelled with the scientists and the assigned security detail to various villages. The daily schedule would entail having breakfast early; pack up their equipment and lunch rations; and leave by 7 A.M to go to the scheduled village. For the most part, trails to the villages were already established and well groomed due to the continuous traversing over the past few months. For those easier to reach areas, the group got there via jeep or ATV; and for the more difficult to reach villages, they drove as far as they could and hiked in the rest of the way.

Once at a village, the medical team collected blood samples from everyone; they also gathered air, water, soil and plant life specimens; ensuring that everything was properly labelled and categorized. This sample collecting was important for running tests when back at the Compound. It was also mandatory that everyone wore gloves when in contact with villagers. It was determined early on that minimal skin exposure seemed to deter the spread of the disease, therefore, all Fae personnel also had to wear, safety goggles, face masks and cover all exposed skin.

There were always dangers to be expected in the forest – poisonous snakes, panthers, crocodiles; so, from the moment they left Base Camp to the time they returned, Security personnel were always on guard with their main concern being the presence of Dark Fae - there had been a few attacks on staff in the past, so security was always vigilant. Because of this, Serena never left Lauren's side whenever they were outside the Camp.

By the time the team returned to Camp at the end of the day, it would normally be between five and six o'clock. Everyone had to go through quarantine protocols immediately upon returning before they could secure their samples, eat supper or do anything else.

Days in the field were normally very hot, long and exhausting; so the evenings after supper were normally spent chatting in the meal tent or at the fire pit, which was an excellent repellent for the various bugs. This was everyone's way of unwinding and bonding after a long day and because of this, there was a great deal of camaraderie within the team.

Serena would always be in the general vicinity of the doctor when inside the Camp but she adopted a more relaxed posture while within the Base's walls. By the time Lauren retired for the evening, she was always exhausted yet relaxed, so she never had a problem falling asleep. The blonde definitely enjoyed field work and being in Mata Atlântica was the most fulfilling, exhausting and alive she'd felt in a long time.

* * *

Base Camp (day 20)

The week and a half in Mata Atlântica were incredibly busy for Lauren and the time just flew by. The blonde was in her element gathering and collating samples and conferring with other scientists. Despite the circumstances of her being there, she was enjoying herself.

It was the last day of their shift and there was a flurry of activity with the scientists packing up their equipment; the entire team would be departing in the morning and the oncoming team would arrive to replace them. Lauren had finished packing and decided to take a walk around the camp instead of staying cooped up in her tent. It was a beautiful evening – the sun was low in the sky and the cool, steady breeze was a welcome break from the seasonal warm temperatures. Lauren's stroll brought her to Nayara's tent.

"Hi." Lauren said.

"Hi yourself. Finished packing?" Nayara looked up from her bag and smiled at the blonde. Whenever she was in Lauren's presence, she couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, all done. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself seeing that everything is packed." Lauren admitted. "But at least I'm not holed away in the lab. I think that's progress, no?"

"No. That's called a miracle!" They both laughed. Lauren had definitely gotten better at taking care of herself during these last three weeks.

"There… finished!" Nayara said as she zipped up her back pack. "Come with me." The Empath linked her arm in Lauren's as they walked towards the fire pit.

The blonde wasn't surprised by the gesture as she felt very comfortable being with the brunette and was very relaxed as they walked arm in arm. Nayara was very charming and always made everyone feel at ease, so it wasn't difficult to understand why people gravitated to her; Lauren also was not immune to her charisma.

When they arrived at the fire pit, there was an unusual amount of people already there chatting and mingling. Lauren looked at Nayara questioningly about what was going on. The brunette motioned to a bench and they arranged themselves so that they were semi-facing each other; their elbows resting on the back of the bench.

Nayara explained, "As you know, Fae can live for thousands of years and are almost immortal. This existence brought about a very lax way of thinking when it came to life – we took things for granted. However, because of this epidemic, a **_lot_** of Fae died; things changed. Our way of thinking changed. It made us realize that we were not immune to death and as such, it gave us a better appreciation of life… I think it's the one of the few good things that came out of all of this."

Lauren nodded, "I can see how tragedy can provide a change in perspective."

"Exactly. So, it's been a tradition since we built these Base Camps, that on the last night in the field, we hold a small concert. We do this as a reminder: to celebrate life; to show our appreciation for what we have; to honour and remember who and what we've lost; and to continue to recognize the importance of Fae and humans working together, side by side."

The blonde smiled at Nayara, "That's a wonderful idea." Lauren was in awe of this Fae clan - they had such a strong appreciation for humans and life; and it gave her hope for what could be for the clan in Toronto. If the Fae here could change thousands of years of thinking; the same could happen anywhere.

Lauren brought herself out of her reverie. "Do you have any hidden talents Nayara?"

The brunette smiled, "I've been told that I'm a good singer. What about you?"

Lauren waved her hand dismissively, "Aside from science and the incredible ability to babble on in a geeky way, not really."

Nayara poked Lauren in the ribs and chuckled, "I don't believe you. I'm sure there is something. Stop me when I get close … you can umm, tap dance? … Do magic tricks? … Play an instrument?"

The blonde smiled shyly, "Well I can play the guitar but it's been many, many years and another lifetime ago since I've even strummed one. I don't think I'd even remember how to play."

"I knew it! You were holding out on me!" Nayara laughed; she had a pure, joyous, laugh that was contagious; Lauren couldn't help but smile and laugh along with her. Maintaining her smile, Nayara looked directly into the blonde's eyes, "You are definitely a woman of many hidden talents."

Lauren blushed and quickly changed the subject. "Oh, there's Serena. I'll go get her." The blonde quickly got up to intercept the Ignis. She needed to clear her head as a part of her was enjoying Nayara's flirtatious nature while the other part felt guilty that she was. By the time they got back to the bench, most of the personnel in the camp minus the on duty security staff were already seated; and a make-shift wooden platform stage, was already set up.

They sat down just as four scientists got up on the stage with guitars and percussion instruments to perform.

Lauren couldn't remember the last time she experienced and enjoyed live music; to relax and enjoy culture. She also couldn't believe how normal and human she felt amidst all these Fae so far away from what she considered home. The normalcy of the moment overwhelmed her and made her smile. The blonde looked at her friend and gently squeezed her hand to get her attention. "I just wanted to say that despite the circumstances that brought me here, I am truly enjoying myself and I'm really glad that we met and have become good friends."

Nayara gazed into the blonde's brown eyes and smiled in response; her smile was warm and bright, "I, too, am glad that we have become such good friends."

Their attention was quickly drawn back to the quartet as they finished performing and everyone was applauding. While clapping, Nayara leaned over to Lauren and said, "Oh, I forgot to mention… all first timers to the Camp _**have**_ to perform."

Lauren's eyes went wide at this revelation; she looked at the Empath for any sign of it being a cruel joke; when she realized that the brunette was very serious, her hands started to sweat. The blonde shook her head, "I was serious when I said that I haven't played in a long time."

Nayara stood up and waved to one of the scientists who had just finished performing. Lauren watched in horror as he handed over his guitar to the brunette and then her mortification level skyrocketed when Nayara stood with the guitar outstretched towards her. The blonde just stared at the instrument and then up at her tormentor; not moving from her spot. At this point, Serena had inched as far away from Lauren as she could on the bench; all the while chuckling at the doctor's predicament.

"Come on Lauren; don't make me resort to plan B." Nayara reasoned.

The blonde was afraid to ask but curiosity got the better of her. "What… what's plan B?" she stammered.

Nayara cocked her head to one side and grinned; and Lauren instantly regretted asking.

The brunette started to chant, "**Lew-is! Lew-is! Lew-is!"** The blonde dropped her head into her hands and groaned. Very quickly, the crowd joined in with chanting her name, until Lauren had no choice but to take the guitar out of Nayara's hands. She looked at the brunette and mouthed the words "_I am going to get you for this_." before making her way to the stage. The Empath sat down, chuckling at the blonde but at the same time, she was very anxious to hear her play.

Lauren sat on one of the folding chairs on the stage; took a deep breath and exhaled. She made herself as comfortable as possible; and plucked at the strings to quickly familiarize herself with the instrument. Looking up into the crowd, her eyes searched and found Nayara's; her voice steady, not betraying the nervousness she felt, "This is the last song that I taught myself, which was a little over six years ago. So please bear with me because I'm incredibly rusty." Lauren adjusted herself in the seat again before continuing, "It's called 'Everything'."©

The blonde exhaled and closed her eyes, tuning out everyone and everything as she focused on the music and the words in her mind. Before she realized it, her fingers seemed to tap into the memory of when she last played the song and they moved of their own volition. Her fingers plucked at the strings without hesitation; capturing and releasing notes accurately and giving her the confidence she needed to continue.

Lauren's body relaxed as she leaned into the guitar and allowed the music to flow through her. Any assumptions about her quiet and reserved personality dictating her ability to sing, was instantly dismissed as soon as she opened her mouth. Lauren's voice was haunting and she sang with a clarity and passion that was unexpected and wonderfully surprising.

Find me here,  
And speak to me.  
I want to feel you,  
I need to hear you.  
You are the light,  
That's leading me,  
To the place,  
Where I find peace again.

You are the strength,  
That keeps me walking.  
You are the hope,  
That keeps me trusting.  
You are the light  
To my soul.  
You are my purpose,  
You're everything.

How can I stand here with you,  
And not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me,  
How could it be,  
Any better than this?

You calm the storms,  
And you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands,  
You won't let me fall.  
You steal my heart,  
And you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in,  
Take me deeper now.

And how can I stand here with you,  
And not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me,  
How could it be,  
Any better than this?

Cause you're all I want,  
You're all I need,  
You're everything, everything.

You're all I want,  
You're all I need,  
You're everything, everything.

The song triggered forgotten memories; causing the emotional pain to come rushing back with a ferocity that Lauren had not expected. It took everything within her to hold it together and finish performing; to not cry and to keep her voice from wavering.

When the blonde finished playing, there was a moment of silence before the audience erupted into applause. Lauren slowly looked up; smiling sheepishly. To say that everyone was pleasantly surprised by her performance would be putting it mildly - they were literally blown away; with Nayara and Serena clapping the loudest. The Empath still had goose bumps from listening to Lauren sing and had to quickly collect herself as she had gotten swept away by Lauren's voice and her passionate performance.

Lauren quickly dismounted from the stage and handed the guitar back to its owner who patted her on the back for a job well done. Lauren needed space; she needed to get away from the crowd. It was Serena's turn to perform as her security cohorts pushed her on stage; the blonde used this opportunity to slip away and head back to her tent so that she could get her emotions in check.

Nayara sensed the gamut of emotions coming off of the blonde while she was performing; it overwhelmed her and she had to shield herself otherwise she would've been swept up in those feelings. She knew that Lauren was upset and once the blonde got off the stage, she saw her duck away. By the time the Empath made it past everyone, the doctor was already gone.

The brunette quickly made her way to Lauren's tent and found her seated on her cot with her face in her hands. Lauren looked up, startled by the intrusion; her cheeks already stained with tears. The Empath didn't say a word; she rushed over to the blonde and pulled her up so that she was standing and hugged her tightly. This time, Lauren didn't struggle; instead she melted into her friend's comforting arms; her body shuddering against Nayara as she sobbed.

They stood there for a few minutes with the Empath holding her until her sobs subsided. Nayara then guided her to sit on the cot while she pulled up a chair to sit across from her; her hands holding Lauren's.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nayara asked softly.

Lauren took a deep calming breath. "About six and a half years ago, I learned to play that song for my girlfriend, Nadia. It was one of her favourite songs and I learned it so that I could surprise her. She loved it when I played that song for her." The blonde smiled at the memory.

"This was at a time in my life when things were normal; before everything changed – before the Congo, the Fae, Nadia's coma, my servitude and everything with Bo. This was when life was simple."

Lauren took a deep breath and exhaled. "This song summarized how Nadia felt about me. At the time I thought I felt the same but I knew that I wasn't honest with myself – I cared about her greatly and I loved her but I knew that her feelings were stronger than mine. I considered ending things before we left for the Congo but she convinced me that it would only bring us closer together… I've always felt guilty about prolonging our relationship and not ending things when I should have. But I didn't and now my guilt is further compounded by the fact that Nadia lost her life because of me."

The blonde sniffed and held back her tears. "Nadia was young, vibrant and passionate and she had so many plans. But her life was taken away when the Ash wanted me in his _service_; and when the Garuda used her as a puppet in his war. Nadia deserved more than that; she deserved to live – to be the successful photographer that she wanted to be; to marry and have a family… to love someone and to have them love her back with the same intensity. Those opportunities were taken from her… she will never get to have _that_ life and sadly, neither will I."

Lauren breathed out, "Nadia is gone and I have to live with her death but I don't know how."

Tears made their way down her face as she laughed bitterly, "But you want to know what's ironic? This song expresses exactly how I feel for Bo; even after all that has happened; after all that I've sacrificed; and despite all the pain she caused me I still love her; I'm **_still _** in love with her...Yet she doesn't feel the same for me. What does that say about me? How pathetic am I? I guess karma is a bitch."

Nayara gently squeezed Lauren's hands; she hated seeing her friend hurt so much.

Lauren looked at Nayara with intense sadness in her eyes, "Can you take this from me? This pain and guilt I feel over Nadia and Bo is unbearable. It swirls around my head and my heart and its suffocating…."

Nayara was not expecting this. "You want me to feed from you?"

"Yes." the blonde whispered.

"You realize that it would only be temporary; only for a short period of time. I can't take away your pain completely. I want you to be sure of what you're asking." the brunette said, concern etched in her voice.

"I'm sure. A respite is better than nothing. I'm just so tired Nayara…. please!" Lauren begged.

Nayara removed one of her hands and gently caressed Lauren's cheek; a tender smile formed but there was a sadness behind it. "Okay." she breathed out. "Lie back and close your eyes."

_TBC_

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

The song "Everything" © was written by the band Lifehouse. All lyrics are theirs.

Have no fear, the next chapter will give insight into what Bo has been up to.

Please share your thoughts. I love feedback!


	9. Work Hard, Play Hard

**Chapter 9 **- **"Work Hard, Play Hard"**

**Author's Notes:**

As stated previously, these chapters show Bo's and Lauren's individual journeys. Keep this in mind when you don't see Lauren in this chapter.

Thank you to all those who have been following, reviewing and adding as favourite. You guys are awesome!

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart for her insight; to Glasswrks and my friend Lil for their advice and assistance.

* * *

The Dal Riata (Three weeks have passed since Lauren left)

Kenzi strolled into the Dal and had to pick her way through the crowd in order to get to her usual spot at the bar. The bar was extremely busy and loud from all the laughter and various conversations taking place. Ever since Trick installed the mechanical bull three weeks ago, his customer base doubled, causing the Dal to be packed to the rafters almost every night. Though this meant that business was great for Trick, it also meant that it was hard to find a place to sit. After the first two nights of not being able to sit at the bar, Kenzi recommended that their favourite spots be permanently reserved for them; the selling point for Trick being that Bo wouldn't have to 'force' anyone to move. When the Goth asked what made him think of a mechanical bull, he was a bit vague and simply said that one of his regulars mentioned it in passing awhile back and he finally decided to purchase one. Kenzi guessed that it wasn't the same customer that suggested Bingo Night as that had been a massive flop.

"Yo Trickster!"

"Hello Kenzi. How are you?"

"Tired and thirsty. I'm sooo parched. Hit me up!" The Goth batted her eyelashes at her favourite bartender as she drummed her hands on the top of the bar. He rolled his eyes.

"Where's Bo?" Trick asked as he turned to get her a beer.

"She should be here shortly. She's just finishing up on a case." Kenzi gazed longingly at the free booze in Trick's hand, making 'gimme' gestures with her fingers as she reached for it, "Come to mama!"

"Seems like that's all you two have been doing lately." Trick observed; concern evident in his voice.

"No kidding. I'm not used to all this hard work. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror." Kenzi joked to diffuse the anxiety that she felt.

As Kenzi waited for her best friend to arrive, she looked around the bar; taking a swig from her bottle. "Ahhh! Nothing beats an ice cold beer after an incredibly long day." she said to no one in particular.

There had been many a long day for Bo and Kenzi working their various cases; in fact, these last three weeks since Lauren left, it was one client after another. Bo was in heavy duty 'work hard' mode and no client issue was too big or too small. They photographed cheating spouses in the midst of their extra curricular activities; looked for missing persons and Fae; searched for lost household pets; and tracked down exes who were not paying child support.

Kenzi would round up clients - both human and Fae; they weren't picky - and Bo would work the cases, sometimes with her partner or sometimes she would go solo. The Goth would use her contacts and computer savvy to get the information that they needed and Bo would follow leads and handle all the physical aspects of the job. They had a good tempo, opening and closing cases in rapid succession. Even their precious weekends were taken up with clients. For once in quite a long time, they weren't short on cash, which normally the Goth would be happy about, but she was too busy and exhausted to spend their hard earned money. She had numerous shopping sprees planned but clients and cases interfered with all the shoes, boots and clothes she intended to buy. Yet she kept her complaints to a minimum and stood by Bo. Kenzi hoped that given time, Bo would have a serious talk with her and revert back to her normal self.

Bo was possessed - not in the dark Succubus way but rather in the 'all about work' way. She was incredibly focused on their cases; always pushing Kenzi to seek out more clientele. The brunette never mentioned why she had a sudden fixation on their PI business but Kenzi knew what was motivating Bo - keeping busy meant that the Succubus didn't have time to think or feel anything about a certain blonde. At least that was the perceived plan behind Bo immersing herself in her work. But Kenzi knew that her friend's plan was flawed. Even though the brunette never mentioned Lauren since she left, the Goth knew that her best friend was heart broken. The signs were obvious.

Ever since their break up, Bo's emotions fluctuated from being depressed to being eerily calm to incredibly angry. Kenzi never knew what mood the brunette was going to be in when she woke up and so she braced herself each day and reacted accordingly - whether it was being the supportive, understanding friend when Bo was moping around the shack listening to sappy, break-up songs; to being the cool-headed partner in crime when the brunette was raving about a case or some jerk that cut them off in traffic or if she thought there wasn't enough cheese on their extra cheese pizza. Unfortunately, anything could set Bo off.

However, Bo was never angry with Kenzi though she did tend to be abrupt at times; which was why Bo never dealt with the clients – Kenzi did; which was ironic considering Bo was the politically correct member of the Investigative Team. However, these past few weeks, the tiny Goth was most definitely the spokeswoman for their PI business when meeting and dealing with clients as Bo's patience and ability to be social or polite was tenuous.

Unfortunately, her abruptness and her lack of social graces weren't her only issues. The brunette was taking chances that she normally wouldn't. She would fight first and talk later; and if she did talk, the situation usually gravitated towards her fists or her trusty dagger ending the conversation. Kenzi knew that Bo needed to blow off some steam but she was definitely concerned – this wasn't her normal behaviour.

When Bo was on a case - if there was a fray - she would just jump in and not pay attention to how dangerous the situation was; or she would goad others into starting fights. In fact, it wasn't unusual for the brunette to return to the Crack Shack with cuts and bruises all over her face and body; bleeding; or have broken bones and knife wounds. Each time Bo would always shrug it off as if it were nothing. She would say that she was testing the limits of her powers and abilities since she passed the Dawning. Kenzi knew it was just an excuse but she couldn't do anything to stop Bo from getting into fights. All she could do was stay calm, try to mitigate the situation as much as possible and when that failed, act as the Succubus' wing man when she was too weak to find someone on her own for healing purposes.

When Bo wasn't working on a case, she would normally be found with Kenzi at the Dal or at Vex's bar, Carpe Noctem; quickly switching from 'work hard' to 'play hard' mode. Normally the Goth would never complain about spending the night unwinding in a bar with beverages, loud music and watching Bo on the prowl. In fact, Kenzi used to enjoy observing Bo do her Succubus thing – how people and Fae would gravitate towards her; and how they would be putty in her hands once she flashed them a smile or gave them a gentle touch. The whole process was fluid, smooth and precise; yet still flirtatious, fun and sexy.

How quickly three weeks can change things. Kenzi no longer enjoyed seeing Bo in her Succubus element. Now, the process was more like watching a hunter and their prey – hungry, cold and calculating; there were no more fun and flirty times.

Bo was always on the hunt for her next sexual conquest. It didn't matter if they were human or Fae; male or female. She didn't discriminate. The brunette once mentioned that she had two rules: no repeat sex or feed with someone; and no kissing. Kenzi wondered about the 'no kissing' rule but didn't ask as her friend never went into the details.

The brunette would choose her 'target' at bars, restaurants, movie theatres, grocery stores, department stores, parks... it didn't matter where. And then feed and/or have sex with them in her car; in alley ways; public washrooms; dark, hidden corners - anywhere that was available and that afforded some privacy if they couldn't make it back to the Shack. No place was off limits.

Kenzi had the unfortunate experience of walking in on Bo a few times in the bathroom of the Carpe Noctem; in the alley behind the Dal as she was leaving; in the Camaro when she went to grab her forgotten cell phone; and in the living room of the Shack. Normally, the Goth would make a smart ass comment but this wasn't the same as accidentally walking in on Bo and Lauren; this was walking in on the Succubus and her prey. It would be the equivalent to walking into a lion's den as it was feeding; one's instincts would be to stop and very slowly and quietly back away; hoping to escape unnoticed. It wasn't that Bo hurt anyone - she didn't; she knew exactly when to stop so that she wouldn't take all of their chi. What unnerved Kenzi was seeing her friend's warm, brown eyes turn electric blue because that signified that the Succubitch was at the helm of the good ship 'Bo'. When that happened, it was as if a switch was flicked and Bo went to sleep and her alter ego awoke. This alter ego only had one thing on her mind – her conquest; and everything around her was inconsequential; including Kenzi. It was very eerie to see and it made the Goth uneasy.

The Goth was suddenly roused from her thoughts when her cell buzzed, indicating that she just received a text.

* _How come ur Succubunny friend is here and u r not?_ *

* Hey V-man! Bo's where? *

* _At my bar, where else?_ *

* K, I'll be there soon. *

The Goth sighed. She knew it would be another night of babysitting to make sure Bo didn't get drunk and start a fight before she would find someone to shag, as Vex would say. It had only been three weeks that the brunette had been like this but it felt like a year. Kenzi was exhausted from watching her friend be self-destructive; as well, she felt that she was falling back into the same pattern that she was in before she ran away from home. When Kenzi left home, she vowed that she would never again surround herself with people who were so self-destructive; but she knew that she couldn't abandon Bo. Bo was her family; her best friend; and she needed her.

Kenzi stood up and chugged back the rest of her beer before saying goodbye to Trick. She would support Bo for as long as she could; hoping that her best friend would snap out of her funk; but she also knew that something had to change soon.

The Carpe Noctem

The energy in Vex's bar was different from that at the Dal. The Carpe Noctem's interior was black, punctuated with bright flashing strobe lights and neon lights; the music was loud - vibrating off of every surface and pounding in one's ears; and there were people everywhere - queued around the bar waiting to place their drink orders and on the dance floor crammed together, moving rhythmically to the beat. The Goth fit in with this crowd in her ensemble of leather; various belts and buckles criss-crossing her tiny frame; and her black 'don't mess with me' heeled boots.

Kenzi's eyes did a quick sweep of the place and eventually spotted the Mesmer at the end of the bar. Vex had returned from his 'spiritual journey' in India two and a half weeks ago, with his powers restored – he never said how, just that he was 'whole' again. He quickly proved to Evony that he was no longer impotent and after passing her numerous tests, the Morrigan wasted no time in re-instating him; ensuring that all his regular responsibilities and perks were returned to him, which also included his bar.

He was the same Vex that everyone knew, hated and feared; but to Kenzi, they were friends - they had a quiet understanding and respect for one another; and Vex was fiercely protective of her. He may not have voiced it to the Goth but if any Fae tried anything with her, it was the last thing that they did - a point that he made quite clear to two Dark Fae Harpies the first time Kenzi came into his bar. Kenzi didn't realize that it was that 'example' that made it so easy for her to come and go into his bar; she just assumed that it was because she was associated with Bo.

"Where is she?" she asked him as she continued to look around the bar.

"What am I, her nurse maid? Though I do look rather fetching in a nurse's uniform." Vex smirked as he ran his hands suggestively over his torso.

Kenzi rolled her eyes; the Mesmer could always make her smile. "Have I mentioned that I didn't miss you while you were away?"

He put his hand on her shoulder and turned them both to face the bar; ordering Tequila shots for them both. One of the many perks of owning the bar meant that Vex never had to wait to be served.

"Here." he handed her the drink. "To not missing me." They clinked their glasses together and gulped down their shots, not even bothering with the lime and salt; slamming their glasses down on the bar when they were finished.

"That's good shit!" Kenzi exclaimed as the alcohol burned a path down her throat.

Vex grinned and then indicated upwards. "Why don't we go to the VIP area? It'll be easier to spot Bo from up there."

Kenzi let the Mesmer lead the way. When they got up to the VIP lounge, there was a group already settled there. Vex made a 'get out' motion with his thumb and they cleared out of the room instantly. With a nod of his head, the bartender quickly cleaned up the bottles and drinks that were left behind. The Goth was impressed by the authority that Vex commanded and was giddy with delight when he told the bartender to keep the Tequila coming.

Kenzi had been to The Carpe Noctem many times before but this was her first time in the VIP lounge. It was a large balcony that jutted out from the wall and over looked the main level. It was semi-circular in shape and had a floor to ceiling privacy glass on the outside, which meant that they could see out but no one could see in. The room also afforded an unobstructed view of everything below: the entrance, main bar, dance floor, the seated areas, bathrooms and back exit. There were tables, chairs and leather sofas arranged within the room; and it was also fully equipped with a private bar and bartender to make whatever drink one desired, as well as washroom facilities, so no one had to go downstairs until it was time to leave. Kenzi was impressed and raised her eyebrow, conveying this to the Mesmer.

He smirked and plopped himself down on one of the couches; putting his feet up on the coffee table; and indicated for her to do the same. "Just relax luv. We both know the routine."

The petite woman knew that he was right. The same thing happened every night; it just changed slightly depending on the brunette's mood: Bo would find someone and feed, get drunk and then possibly start a fight; or she would get drunk and then get into a fight. Either way, both Kenzi and Vex would try to stop the melee and then the tiny woman would carry a drunken Succubus home to sleep it off.

Kenzi stood and walked to the wall of glass; her eyes scouring the downstairs level. "I see her… she just came in from outside, which means that she's already fed. Maybe this will be a quiet night?"

"We can only hope." The Mesmer said wishfully.

The Goth observed Bo sitting at the bar; a drink in one hand and her cell in the other. "Yup, she's at the bar. She'll be drinking quietly for awhile."

Kenzi made her way back to the couch and marvelled at how comfortable the leather felt. She wondered how she could get the couch back to the Shack when the bartender placed four shot glasses each in front of them; thereby distracting her from her thoughts of appropriating the furniture.

Once they were alone again, Kenzi asked, "So, when will you tell me a story about a certain Mesmer who travelled to India and regained his powers?"

Vex smiled, "When you are done Succusitting, I will tell you all about my fab-u-lous adventures."

"Well, when that time comes, we should make a night of it – movie, popcorn, drinks, and mascara!" The tiny Goth said excitedly. "I need a refresher on my double pump smudge proof technique."

The Mesmer smiled, "Deal. I need the practice anyway. I let a lot of things slide when I was away."

They both sat there in a comfortable silence, enjoying their Tequila; Kenzi looking around the lounge and occasionally glancing down to where Bo sat at the bar.

Vex broke the silence. "So, has she talked about the Doc at all?"

Kenzi shook her head, "Nope, not a peep since she told me that Lauren high-tailed it outta here."

The Dark Fae pondered for a bit, "I'm sure blondie had her reasons-"

The Goth interrupted, "Don't you start defending her too!"

Vex was puzzled, "Too?"

Kenzi sighed, "Yeah, Bo asked me to not bad mouth Lauren – that she was right to leave."

The Mesmer nodded his head in understanding, "As I said, I'm sure that the Doc had her reasons; it couldn't have been easy for her to leave. From what I saw, it was undeniable that she loved the Succuslut-" The petite woman shot him a look stopping Vex in mid-sentence. "I mean… that she loved Bo... And Bo is obviously hurting right now."

Kenzi made a face and threw her hands up in the air, "No shit Sherlock! I know that. I live with it every day!"

"Hey luv, no need to get testy!"

The Goth looked away briefly before resuming eye contact with her friend, sighing, "I'm sorry… it's just exhausting and frustrating watching her do this to herself. I'm worried about her."

"And she's a grown woman… albeit baby Fae."

"Who is making huge ass mistakes." Kenzi interjected.

Vex nodded in agreement, glancing below.

"So, does she ever pick up blondes?" he asked out of curiosity.

Kenzi shook her head, "Nope! Red heads, brunettes, purple hair, orange hair, mohawks, spiked hair, no hair… but no blondes. I think it hits too close to home."

The Mesmer's attention was still directed below. "Well, I think she's gotten over that because she's dancing with a blonde right now."

"Dancing? Bo doesn't ever dance with her _food_. Did you trade in part of your vision to get your powers back?" Kenzi said incredulously.

"My eyesight's just fine, thank you. Look!" Vex indicated to the dance floor.

Kenzi stood up to get a better look. Sure enough there was Bo slow dancing with a beautiful, leggy blonde. As they swayed to the music, the Goth could plainly see that the blonde woman looked very much like Lauren. They were glued to one another; Bo's hands were wrapped around the woman's waist and her nose was buried in her hair, while the blonde was nuzzling the brunette's neck. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the reason Bo was dancing with this woman was because she resembled Lauren.

Kenzi was dumbfounded at the odds that Bo would meet someone that held such an uncanny resemblance to the Doctor. As she stood there staring, something caught her eye. "Uh oh. I think we have a shit-uation."

Vex sat up when he heard the concern in Kenzi's voice and made his way next to her.

Kenzi's nose was now pressed to the glass as if that would allow her a better view; tapping the glass with her index finger in order to point towards the dance floor. "I think that determined looking dude making his way towards Bo - the one with the scowl on his face and the skull tats all over his arms… I think that's blondie's boyfriend."

Vex's eyes moved to where she was pointing and agreed with Kenzi's assessment. And if this Fae's body language was any indication, he was very angry.

"We should get down there ASAP to avoid a repeat performance of the other night." Kenzi exclaimed.

Vex nodded his understanding. The incident in question was a fight between Bo and a Redcap - Bo walked out with a busted lip and the Redcap was carried out on a stretcher. The Mesmer didn't mind fights in his establishment; they were to be expected but he shared Kenzi's concern and was genuinely worried about the Succubus' behaviour.

Without another word, they raced down the stairs and quickly split up. Vex grabbed two bouncers and pointed out the boyfriend to one; and took the other bouncer with him as he made a bee line towards the blonde woman. Kenzi went straight for Bo.

The Dark Fae with the skull tattoos marched up behind Bo; grabbed her by the shoulder and roughly pulled her away from the blonde woman. Both women were startled by the interruption and Bo's confusion quickly turned to anger when she realized that the man was trying to stop her from dancing with the blonde. Fortunately for all concerned, Bo was very drunk and her reaction time was slow. Her intent to respond with a fist to the man's face was thwarted when one of Vex's bouncers appeared out of nowhere. Kenzi swore she saw the bouncer Vulcan Nerve Pinch the boyfriend; and then watched as he quickly carted the unconscious body away. This whole near-altercation was over in seconds and wasn't even noticed by the people dancing in the vicinity.

While Bo's attention was on the tattooed man and bouncer, Vex quickly took control of the blonde and had the other bouncer escort her out the back and into a cab. By the time Bo turned around, the woman was gone and Kenzi was standing in her spot.

"Kenzeee!" The brunette slurred as she wrapped the Goth in a tight embrace; happy to see her friend. "You're here!"

"Of course I'm here BoBo. Where else would I be?"

"Hey, did you see Lauren? She was right here!" The brunette did a 360 degree turn as she slowly looked around the bar for the blonde; this wasn't the greatest move for a drunken Succubus as it left her wobbly and a bit dizzy.

"No, I didn't see her." Kenzi said as she tried to steady her friend.

"We were dancing and having fun. She's not mad at me anymore Kenz." The brunette had a goofy, happy smile etched on her face as she placed her hands on the Goth's shoulders.

"That's great Bo." Kenzi smiled on the outside but on the inside, her heart ached for her friend.

"I don't know where she could be though." Bo looked perplexed.

Kenzi used this opportunity to try to get Bo home and in bed before she got into any more trouble. "You know how Lauren is – she worked all day at the lab and is probably tired. I'm sure she made her way back to the Shack and is waiting for you there."

Bo paused to think about Kenzi's response, "You're probably right. We should leave now, I don't want Lauren waiting up for me if she's tired."

The tension in the Goth's shoulders relaxed slightly. "That's very considerate of you."

The brunette smiled a bittersweet smile, "I'm trying to be. I want Lauren to know that she's my number one priority."

The Goth nodded and put her arm around her friend's waist; guiding her out of the bar and towards the Camaro that was parked in the back. Vex was waiting for them and helped Kenzi put Bo in the car.

The Crack Shack

Kenzi just managed to get Bo into bed before she passed out. She sighed sadly as she looked at her friend. She had never seen her so drunk to the point that Bo actually thought that blonde woman was Lauren. However, the brunette's display reinforced Kenzi's concerns that Bo was spiralling out of control.

The Goth knew that after an evening of heavy drinking, Bo would sleep straight through the night. Kenzi took off her friend's boots and covered her with a blanket so that she would be comfortable. As she was about to turn away, something caught her eye – there was something sticking out from under the spare pillow. She made her way to the other side of the bed and lifted the pillow, revealing an envelope marked 'Bo'.

Kenzi hesitated. She knew that this had to be 'the' letter that Lauren left for Bo. She didn't want to invade her best friend's privacy but she needed to have a clearer understanding of the situation and she knew that Bo wouldn't tell her. In fact these past three weeks were a good indication of that. She knew that if she read the letter it would help shed some light on Bo's behaviour and she would be in a better position to help her friend.

The decision had been made - the end justified the means and the Goth hoped that someday Bo would forgive her for breaching her privacy. Kenzi's hand hovered over the envelope as she looked sadly at her friend and whispered, "I'm sorry Bo. I have to do this."

The brunette was out like a light; she could have fired a cannon in the room and Bo would not have woken up. Kenzi quietly took the letter; removed the pages from the envelope and unfolded it. She noticed that Bo must've read it numerous times as the paper was ripped along the folds, it was dog eared and there were tear stains on the pages.

Kenzi stood there reading; her back to Bo. She didn't know what to expect when she opened the envelope. All she knew was that she was very angry at the Doctor for breaking her best friend's heart. Bo was an emotional mess right now because of her and Kenzi just assumed that Bo was under the blonde's spell thinking that she could do no wrong.

However, the unexpected happened as Kenzi started to read the letter. In reading Lauren's words, things became clearer - she finally understood Lauren and why she left; and why Bo was so upset.

The petite woman was incredibly moved by Lauren's words and emotions and quickly regretted that she never took the time to understand what it meant for her to be a slave to the Light Fae; what she lost and sacrificed for Nadia and for Bo; and how alone and insecure she felt being a human working for and surrounded by the Fae. The Goth could relate to the feeling of not being enough as she too, was a mere human amongst all these super beings.

The more she read, the more Kenzi chastised herself for not being more sympathetic towards Lauren. Yes, they did have a better understanding and respect for one another and were starting to become friends but they should've stuck together as they were both minorities in this world that they found themselves in.

When Kenzi reached the end of the letter, she wiped away the unexpected tears that stained her cheeks. Lauren's letter was heart wrenching and she couldn't imagine how difficult it must've been for her to write it or how hard it must've been for Bo to read it.

Kenzi's initial plan was to have a better understanding of what Bo was going through and instead, she also gained further insight into the blonde. The Goth was surprised that Lauren felt so much as she was always so closed off; keeping her emotions hidden. She felt guilty saying that Lauren had a cold speculum for a heart, as well as all the many, scathing comments about being uncaring and not having a personality. It must've hurt Lauren to hear herself be described that way. But even if it did bother her, she never let it show. Now the Goth knew why she acted the way she did – she did it to protect herself from the Fae and to survive all these years without friendship or companionship. Even when Kenzi was living on the streets, she had friends and they had each other's backs. Lauren didn't have anyone or any support. Kenzi also could relate to what Bo said about running away - how desperate Lauren must've been to actually leave and how she must be feeling right now. The tiny woman felt for the blonde; she remembered how alone and scared she felt after she ran away from home and she wouldn't wish that on anyone.

As for Bo, Kenzi knew how much Bo felt and how intense her feelings were in general – she would always feel guilty for the deaths that she caused in her past because she didn't know who she was or how to control her abilities. And now after reading the letter, Kenzi knew that Bo was carrying the burden of being the cause for Lauren leaving, as well as the part she played in their relationship ending. The tiny brunette knew that Bo could not forgive herself for hurting Lauren and as such, Bo was punishing herself by immersing herself in work, booze and meaningless sex with strangers.

What Kenzi didn't realize was that Tamsin told Lauren about the kiss. When the Goth read that, she had an intense desire to kick the Valkyrie's ass repeatedly. The really unfortunate thing was that the Doctor didn't know that the kiss meant nothing to Bo; and that she didn't instigate it - Bo was faithful to her. Kenzi sighed at all their misconceptions and misunderstandings and how all this heartache could have been avoided if they had only talked.

Now that Kenzi knew about Tamsin's involvement in the break up, Bo's rule about 'no kissing', finally made sense. Bo equated the personal and intimate act of kissing to being emotionally monogamous to Lauren even though they were no longer together.

Kenzi carefully and quietly put the letter back into the envelope and replaced it under the pillow; Bo never stirred. The Goth was now 100 percent Team Lauren and she vowed to do everything she could to help her best friend and the doctor. Something had to change soon and Kenzi was going to be that instrument of change.

_TBC_

* * *

**Author's note:**

- No Harpies were killed during the writing of this chapter – maimed, yes; but not killed.

- The next chapter will focus on Lauren.

- Psssttt! I love reading your thoughts and comments.


	10. The Bond

**Chapter 10 **- **"The Bond"**

**Author's Notes:**

- This chapter follows Lauren and continues directly from where chapter 8 ended.

- Some reviewers have mentioned wanting to see Bo and Lauren together soon. I promise that it will happen but there is a method to my madness. As much as I'd love to make it happen right away, it can't in order to be realistic and true to the characters. With that said, I can't express how much I appreciate your sticking with my story – just know that it will be worth the wait.

A HUGE thank you to everyone reviewing, following and who have marked "Time" as a favourite. Here's a longer chapter for being so awesome!

Special thanks to bluebunnyRAFI for providing me with information on Brazil's culture – much appreciated!

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart - for her advice and awesome insight. And to my friend Bev, for helping me hash out storyline details and getting me past my slump.

* * *

Base Camp – Lauren's tent (evening - day 20)

Lauren lay back on her cot and closed her eyes. She felt emotionally exhausted from dredging up her past; her residual feelings regarding Nadia; and all her hurt and disappointment with regards to her relationship with Bo. The blonde was a pro at hiding and masking her emotions but once she allowed them to show, she found it difficult to stuff them back down again.

Before Nayara could begin, Lauren gently squeezed her hand and looked in her eyes, "This may sound stupid but… will this hurt?"

Nayara replied genuinely, "No. There will be no pain whatsoever."

The Empath could tell that Lauren had some questions but was hesitant to ask. As if reading her friend's mind, she asked, "Would you like me to explain what will happen?"

She nodded her head. "I'm sorry, I know that you're trying to help and I don't want to hinder your… _process_. I just have this compulsion to understand."

Nayara chuckled. "I know, Lauren - you can't turn off your scientific brain." The brunette paused for a moment before continuing. "How about this? I'll give you the Cole's Notes version and once we have a quiet moment back at the Compound, you can ask me all the questions you want."

"Okay." Lauren sat upright so that she was at the same eye level as the brunette.

Nayara adjusted her chair so that it was closer to Lauren's cot. "It's ironic that as a Fae that feeds off of emotions, I need to physically touch the person. Well, that's not quite accurate. I don't _**have**_ to touch the person - I can feed or channel as long as I'm within visual sight of the individual; but having a physical _**link**_ makes for a better connection and transference."

The Light Fae continued, "It's different for every Empath but what works for me is touching some part of the person's face – whether it's with my hand to some part of their face or my forehead to theirs."

The brunette settled back into her chair. "When I start, you will feel my hand grow warm – it won't be burning hot but it will definitely be noticeable. There is also the possibility that you may feel a tingling sensation throughout your body. But this is different for everyone, so you may not experience it."

Lauren nodded her understanding, prompting Nayara to continue.

"As I feed, you will start to feel incredibly tired as if you had a long, hard day and all you want to do is sleep. In fact, it would be very difficult for you to stay awake. But when you do wake, you will feel well rested; probably the best sleep that you've had in a long time. You'll also feel very happy, energized and light, like a heavy burden has been lifted. This sensation or _**euphoria**_ as I like to call it, will last for a few days, perhaps five, but it is really dependant upon how much I consume."

The blonde interrupted, "Take as much as you like."

"Are you certain?" the brunette wanted to make sure.

"Yes, I am." Lauren said resolutely.

Nayara nodded her acknowledgement. "Okay then. Finally, and this is important, channelling causes a bond to form which affects both parties - such is the nature of the feed. This bond is determined by the state of our _**existing**_ relationship, which is then _**intensified **_or_** magnified**_, and which lasts for the entire euphoric period.

I'll give you few examples to clarify. If the state of our relationship was that we didn't like each other, then after feeding, our feelings would be more intense and we would hate one another. If we were casual friends, then our friendship would feel stronger as if we were best friends. And if we liked each other romantically, then those feelings would be more intense and would lean towards love. Regardless of the type of relationship, this heightened emotion would affect us both and last for a few days."

The brunette looked into her friend's eyes, seeking confirmation again. "Do you understand everything that I've just told you? I want you to be sure of this Lauren."

The blonde nodded her head. "I trust you." she said genuinely.

Nayara exhaled deeply, "Alright then; close your eyes and relax."

Lauren laid back and got comfortable on her cot.

Leaning forward slightly, Nayara placed her left hand on Lauren's forehead and momentarily closed her eyes as she took a deep breath and exhaled. The blonde noted how soft her friend's hand felt and relaxed under her touch.

A few seconds passed before Lauren started to feel something. At first she wasn't sure but then she felt the warmth slowly intensify from underneath the Empath's hand. "I can feel it… the spot under your hand is very warm."

Lauren always considered her observations of Fae and their feeding methods to be interesting; so finding herself on the receiving end of a feed, despite the circumstances, tugged at her curiosity. The blonde noted her physical reactions to the Empath's channelling and felt compelled to verbalize her observations, moreso for herself than for anyone else's benefit. "My body also feels tingly… the sensation starts from near your hand and then radiates out."

Nayara smiled at her friend's scientific geekiness and saw her stifle a yawn. Lauren was starting to feel tired and it was just a matter of time before she fell asleep.

Despite her grogginess, the blonde's insatiable curiosity compelled her to force her eyes open to observe Nayara.

"Your eyes!" Lauren exclaimed.

"What?!" Nayara was taken aback by the slight outburst and pulled her hand away in reaction.

"Your eyes are brown." The blonde said in a softer tone; her fascination with the physical change in the Empath's appearance temporarily surpassed any fatigue she felt.

Nayara smiled. "You know how a person's eyes normally indicate their mood or emotional state?"

"Yes." Lauren's sudden burst of energy instantly receded and she was now struggling to keep her eyes open.

"For an Empath, the eyes _**are**_ the doorway to one's emotions – they reflect it completely. When I feed, my eyes take on the color of the person that I'm channelling from." Nayara observed the blonde's eyelids grow heavy and softly placed her hand back on Lauren's forehead. "So, feeding from you, my eyes become brown."

The blonde blinked a few times but was unsuccessful in keeping them open. "That's a shame." she drawled.

"What's a shame?" the Fae asked, confused by her friend's statement.

"Your blue eyes… so beautiful." Lauren managed to reply through her drowsiness.

Nayara blushed at the compliment and smiled that only the blonde could illicit such a response from her. "I consider myself honoured to reflect your eyes Lauren."

Lauren smiled sweetly at her comment before she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The Empath stood up from her chair some time later and covered Lauren with a blanket. The blonde was resting and would sleep through the night. It wasn't that Nayara didn't want to help Lauren but feeding from her meant that a deeper connection would form and she was trying to prevent that from happening. As it was, Nayara already felt strongly for Lauren and had been suppressing her admiration for and attraction to her. She considered her to be an amazing person; a wonderful friend; and a brilliant scientist who was extremely loyal and passionate. The Empath wanted nothing more than to pursue a relationship with the blonde but she knew that Lauren was not ready and she didn't know if she ever would be; her love for the Succubus ran deep and the pain of her heartbreak, even more so. Now that Nayara fed off of her, she was cognizant that the next few days would be difficult as her feelings for the blonde would be more intense.

Nayara sighed as she looked down at the doctor. She gently brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face; her fingers lingering on Lauren's cheek to memorize how soft and wonderful her skin felt. The Empath didn't know how the blonde survived these six years with the Fae after everything that she went through and yet still remained loyal to them. Nayara felt her anger grow as she thought about Lauren's treatment by her own kind and she felt ashamed to be Fae.

The brunette kissed Lauren's forehead tenderly and quietly exited her tent. Nayara knew that Lauren would feel better in the morning and she hoped that it would be the start towards her recovery. However as she walked away, her thoughts began to stray and she felt her emotions fluctuate. She grew angry thinking about how foolish and selfish Bo was for hurting Lauren and for throwing her love away; and at the same time, she was also incredibly jealous as the Succubus held the blonde's heart. Nayara wished she were so lucky – if she were Bo, she knew that she never would've made such a mistake. The Empath stopped in mid-stride and took a couple of cleansing breaths to get her emotions under control before resuming the trek back to her tent. The next few days were definitely going to be difficult.

Base Camp (day 21 – early morning)

Lauren woke up feeling refreshed and incredibly well rested. She couldn't remember when last she had such a restful sleep. As she contemplated last night's events, the blonde was surprised to find that she wasn't upset about what led to her requesting Nayara's help. Instead, she felt as if the weight of the world was taken off of her shoulders. Rationally, she knew that her situation hadn't changed but it was as if her emotions were detached. She couldn't even make herself feel sad or overwhelmed when she thought about her life's circumstances - her brain knew the reality of her situation but her emotions weren't affected by them. She felt liberated in every sense and it was a wonderful feeling.

* * *

They were all seated quietly in the helicopter making their way back to Brasília. It had been a long but productive 10 days in the field and thoughts of what had to be done when they returned to the Compound, filled the minds of the three women. Serena noticed that the doctor seemed different this morning but she couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. There was a slight change in her gait and how she spoke; and though the doctor was normally pleasant and professional, this was something more.

It wasn't until they were about half-way through their flight that it occurred to her what was different. They were all watching the lush green landscape below when the Ignis heard something. At first it didn't register as it was indiscernible against the sound of the helicopter blades and all the cabin noise, however once Serena was able to differentiate the sound from the rest of the din she was able to trace it back to the blonde. Serena finally clued in to what was different with Dr. Lewis - she was 'chipper'. The doctor seemed to be in her own world, smiling and humming to herself as she looked out at the countryside below. Serena had never heard or seen the doctor hum in her six years with the Fae; and she didn't know if she should be amused, thankful or concerned by what caused it.

* * *

Back at the Compound's Lab, Lauren couldn't wait to get her hands on all the samples that they collected in the field. She had boundless energy and her mind was racing with all the things that she had to do: extract the samples; examine them for variations or mutations; record findings and pertinent information; and properly store for preservation and avoidance of contamination. In following this procedure for each sample, there would be a plethora of information collected from all the villages surrounding all three Base Camps. They would then be able to collate and compare the information and look for any commonalities between all the sites and the infected patients.

The hours flew by as Lauren worked diligently; testing and observing blood, plant and water samples under the microscope and recording the information. Nothing else existed as Lauren hummed to herself, happily immersed in her work.

When Serena entered the lab to take the blonde to lunch, she knew that with everything collected in the field, the doctor would be busy. As such, the Ignis was prepared for the doctor's workaholic persona to try and deflect her attention in some way or that she would insist on eating later. Instead, Lauren just smiled, thanked her for reminding her about lunch and promptly put the samples and equipment away so that she could go to the dining hall with the Ignis. Serena was flabbergasted.

In the dining hall, Lauren was all smiles and engaged in small talk with those seated next to her even if she didn't know them. When Serena walked Lauren back to the lab afterwards, the doctor asked her to pass her regards on to Ash Santiago. While they were talking, the blonde intentionally but briefly touched her arm. The Ignis was baffled - the doctor was never touchy feely. Serena even enquired about her health to see if she was feeling okay, to which the blonde chuckled.

Later that evening

Nayara had observed the blonde during the day but didn't want to intrude on her work tempo. Aside from also being incredibly busy and having to provide the Ash with her weekly field report, the brunette was still adjusting to her amplified feelings and needed time to control what was real and what was heightened. Now that the work day was done and her emotions were somewhat contained, the Empath decided to pay the blonde a visit to see how she was doing.

Lauren opened her door and smiled. "Nay! Hi!"

"Hello… Nay?" the brunette repeated in a puzzled tone as Lauren showed her in to her apartment.

The blonde beamed, "It's my new nickname for you – it's short for Nayara."

The Empath chuckled. "I like it."

"Would you like something to drink?" Lauren asked.

"No thanks, I can't stay long. I just wanted to see how you were feeling."

Nayara sat on the couch while Lauren sat beside her. The blonde seemed to have a permanent smile on her face. "I feel great! Never better!"

"That's good to hear, though to be honest, you've been acting as if you've been on Methamphetamines all day." Nayara chuckled. "I know that you're not but you don't seem yourself to everyone else – you're hyper-focused and almost bouncing off the walls; and you're humming and smiling all the time." The Empath paused and had a sparkle in her eyes, "Though you do have a beautiful smile and really should smile more often."

"Flatterer." Lauren laughed and playfully swatted the brunette's arm. "I suppose it would look like that. I just felt incredibly happy and energized all day… I still do. It's an amazing feeling. Thank you so much, Nay."

"I'm happy to hear that you're feeling better Lauren." The Empath smiled genuinely as she got up to leave.

The blonde reached out and gently grabbed Nayara's hand to stop her from leaving and the brunette instinctively curled her fingers around Lauren's. The simple touch caused Lauren's heart to race which caught her off guard; similarly, chills travelled through Nayara's body and she had to take a quick breath to collect herself.

"Can I ask a favour of you?" Lauren asked as she quickly composed herself and let her hand drop down to her side.

"Anything." The Empath replied seriously as she sat back down.

"I didn't pack much coming here and I really need some extra clothes and other essentials. I don't know the area and I was wondering if you could take me shopping sometime this week?" Lauren asked.

The Fae thought it was going to be something serious or dire and chuckled at the request. "Of course! I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible hostess – I haven't even shown you around Brasília."

"I wasn't expecting you to Nay. We've had more pressing things to deal with. My needing clothes for the field and gym is not a priority-"

"Nonsense, Lauren." The Empath interrupted. "Having you comfortable while you work to find a cure for the disease ailing my people is more than reason enough. I am swamped with meetings tomorrow but how about we leave work a little early the day after?"

"That sounds great, thank you." Lauren said genuinely. "I'll let Serena know. I'm sure that she will be happy to flex her bodyguard muscles outside the walls of the Compound." Lauren chuckled. Even though the Ignis never complained, she knew that Serena was bored whenever in the Compound and would appreciate the opportunity to actually perform her duties as a protector instead of spending her time escorting her to the dining hall for meals.

Brasília (day 23 – early afternoon)

When the doctor told Serena that they would be going into the city a couple of days ago, she was ecstatic. Even though it hadn't been long since they were in the Atlantic Forest, being in the Compound was mind numbing. She longed to do the job that she was assigned but whilst within the Light Fae HQ, there was no point. However, venturing out into an unknown environment would put her on her guard for any possible threats - this would be a better use of her time, effort and skills - and she was looking forward to it. Serena was aware that their excursion would most likely be uneventful but anything would be a better change of pace from the routine of the Compound.

Dr. Hernandez drove them to one of the popular shopping districts that had a huge variety and selection of stores. Both Serena and Lauren didn't know what to expect and were surprised to find that the outlet stores were very similar to those in Toronto. They quickly realized that the business of retail didn't change because one was located in a different hemisphere. When they got out of the car, Serena explained to Lauren that she would hang back a bit in order to assess the surroundings; that both she and Dr. Hernandez could go wherever and do whatever they wanted - she would be there in the background.

At first Lauren felt that she was being rude that Serena was walking behind them as she was not able to participate in their conversation or shop together; but as soon as she thought it, she realized how silly that was. First of all, this was what the Ignis wanted – she was doing her job; secondly, Serena didn't _do_ conversations; and lastly, could she really picture the Ignis shopping, trying on clothes and asking if the outfit matched her complexion? Once the blonde chuckled at herself, she didn't give the bodyguard situation a second thought and was able to comfortably walk, talk and shop with Nayara without feeling as if she were ignoring or being discourteous to Serena.

Being in security, one needed to be observant of one's surroundings and also of people – not so much what they said but how they said it; their eyes; their mannerisms; and their body language. Fortunately, Serena had an eye for details and was skilled at reading people; both of which were an asset in her line of work. In keeping some distance between herself and the two doctors, the Ignis was able to assess the area and have a clear view of anyone that would approach Dr. Lewis. She was also able to observe the blonde carefully and without interruption. Ever since they returned from the Atlantic Forest, the doctor was happy; she was all smiles and constantly humming; and even though she was the consummate professional she was more pleasant than usual. The Dr. Lewis that she knew back in Toronto was cool and detached; now she was warm, friendly and very personable. It's not that Serena didn't like seeing this side of the blonde or that she was concerned about her behaviour; she just didn't know what happened to cause the change.

She watched as both doctors went from store to store, looking at clothes and trying them on; talking and laughing as they did so. Each woman would bring the other something to try on just for the fun of it and then they would give their opinion once they were finished modelling. Even though Lauren was looking for clothing for the gym and the field, she also tried on hats, shoes, blouses and dresses for fun. Both doctors seemed to be enjoying themselves as they modelled various articles of clothes whilst also teasing each other about the clothes that they were wearing. Serena knew that they both needed a well earned break after the long hours that they spent in the lab and in the field; and if this was their way of blowing off steam, it was harmless fun and definitely well deserved. As she watched the two women interact, she wondered if Dr. Hernandez was the cause for Dr. Lewis' change in attitude. It was obvious that they were close friends but the subtle glances that they shared, as well as, indications in their body language whenever they were in close proximity of one another, suggested that there may be something more between them. Granted, it didn't matter to Serena if her client was involved with anyone – her only concern was Dr. Lewis' safety. However, if she were a matchmaker, she would say that the two looked good together.

* * *

Three hours later they were done shopping – Lauren had purchased what she needed as well as two outfits – a sun dress and an evening dress – upon the Empath's insistence that they fit her perfectly and looked fabulous on her. Nayara then suggested that seeing that they were in the city, they should make the most of the opportunity and grab a bite to eat at a popular Churrascaria, which she explained, was a restaurant that specialized in barbequed food.

As they entered the restaurant, the smell of barbequed meat permeated the air, making them salivate; the aroma fuelling their hunger. Lauren insisted that Serena sit and eat with them and was pleasantly shocked when the Ignis didn't argue - she was starving and not surprisingly, loved meat cooked over an open fire. Nayara explained that the Passadores or meat waiters would come to their table a few times during their meal with sizzling skewers on which were speared various kinds of meat: prime rib, steak, pork ribs, sirloin, lamb, steak wrapped in bacon and chicken. After they chose what they wanted, it would be served with rice, black beans, sweet plantains and potatoes.

By the time they had finished eating, they were stuffed and completely satisfied with their meal and dining experience. If Serena could take one of these Churrascaria restaurants back to Toronto, she would. As they quietly walked back to Nayara's car, their individual thoughts were on the delicious food that they just consumed as well as the fact that it was a nice change of pace being out of the Compound. As they drove back, Serena listened to the two women talk about what they bought; clearly enjoying their shopping high. The Ignis just smiled as she herself was on a high of her own - she was able to escape the humdrum routine of being inside the Compound and do her job; she could only hope that Dr. Lewis would want to go shopping again soon.

* * *

Back at the Compound, Serena said good night as Nayara walked with Lauren to her apartment.

"Thank you so much Nay. I can't tell you when last I went shopping for myself or with anyone else for that matter… I had a great time." Lauren gushed.

"I did too." Nayara said as they approached her apartment.

"Would you like to come in for some tea?" Lauren said before the brunette had the chance to say good night.

Despite the fact that Nayara's rational instincts screamed 'no' and insisted that she make a hasty retreat to her apartment; she replied, "Thanks, I'd love some." The Empath couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend some time alone with Lauren even though she knew that it wasn't a good idea.

* * *

They were both on the couch enjoying their tea and sat so that they were facing one another - Nayara's back was resting against the arm of the couch and Lauren was seated in the centre.

"So, when we were in the field and I asked you what talents you had, why didn't you say you could sing?" the Empath asked curiously.

"I guess I never considered my singing to be a talent; it's just something that I always did growing up… my family and I always sang at events and gatherings – it's what we did together." Lauren smiled at the memory. "I hadn't realized how long it had been since I last sang though."

"That explains the humming then." Nayara mused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've been humming almost constantly since we left Mata Atlântica but you never hummed before that; so I'm guessing that you had a tendency to hum at some point in your life."

"Now that you mention it, yes, I used to hum a lot – it was an unconscious habit of mine... I've forgotten how much of myself I've hidden since I've been with the Fae." the blonde contemplated out loud.

"You should start singing again Lauren, you have a lovely voice." The brunette said genuinely.

"Thanks, that's sweet of you to say, however, I'd really like to hear you sing sometime." Lauren smiled at her friend and pondered on her recommendation, "Though I'll definitely give your suggestion some thought as I've always enjoyed singing."

The blonde took a sip of her tea before switching topics. "Anyway, you said that I could ask you questions about your feeding and you also said that you never had the opportunity to discuss the after effects from someone who you have fed off of. How about we help each other out?"

"Sure." The Fae agreed, looking forward to gaining some insight into how her feeding affected others.

"Why don't you start?" the blonde offered.

"Okay. What _exactly_ did you feel as I fed off of you – aside from the heat from my hand and your feeling tired?" Nayara asked.

"Well, it felt as if I had a high fever that was restricted to the spot under your hand - at the time I assumed that the heat would radiate out past that point, but it didn't; instead it felt like, umm… tendrils reaching out through my body and where it travelled, it left a cool, tingling sensation." Lauren paused to formulate her thoughts, "It didn't hurt though; in fact it was a pleasant sensation. It also made me feel very calm and relaxed."

The brunette nodded indicating that she was happy with the response and that Lauren could ask her question.

"I have this intense desire to say and act upon everything I think and feel; it's like I don't have a filter or any restraint whatsoever. It's incredibly difficult to suppress. Is this normal?" Lauren blurted out without taking a breath.

"Yes, very normal – it's a side effect of my feeding from you. Freeing one's emotions is very liberating and for the entire euphoric period you will want to say and do exactly what you think and feel – it's like your body craves that emotional expression. Trying to suppress it will be arduous as your ability to censor yourself will be greatly diminished - you'll have to _try really hard_ to not say and do what you want." Nayara paused and smiled, "Though I have to admit it's very interesting seeing this side of you without all the walls that you normally have in place."

"Enjoy it while you can Nay." Lauren smiled. "It's ironic actually… usually it would be very easy for me to censor myself and the fact that I am currently experiencing difficulty doing so would normally be very disconcerting for me. However, at the moment, I just don't seem to care." the blonde chuckled at this revelation.

"How do you feel now though… after the fact?" the Empath asked.

"I feel incredibly happy and full of energy. My mind feels clear and uncluttered. And I feel as if all my troubles have disappeared because the feelings associated with them seem to be… _gone_. I have you to thank for that Nay." The blonde suddenly reached over and pulled the brunette into a warm embrace; surprising the Empath. "Sorry, that's me not showing any restraint."

Nayara chuckled as Lauren released her, "I don't mind. I'm just glad that you're feeling better. Just remember that all of this is temporary."

"I know. I'll just enjoy it while it lasts." Lauren smiled. "Are there any after-effects? Will I come crashing down from a high?"

The brunette shook her head, "No, you'll just feel as you did before but it should be slightly less intense. The reason is that you've released some of your pain, frustration, sadness and anger; so even though it still exists, there would be less of it."

The blonde smiled and nodded her understanding.

"Thank you Lauren. In all my years, I've always wanted to know if my feeding had any negative or hurtful effects but I never had the opportunity to find out. It always seemed incredibly rude to ask." the brunette chuckled.

"It was my pleasure; besides, it is I who should be thanking you." Lauren gave her famous smile.

Nayara smiled genuinely at the blonde and reached for her hand.

Both women quietly looked at how comfortably their fingers intertwined and fit together. However, when Nayara realized what she had done, she pulled her hand away hastily. "I'm sorry. I… I shouldn't have done that." she said embarrassed by her actions.

"It's okay Nay. I don't mind... really." Lauren admitted.

"We can't trust our feelings right now Lauren. Everything will feel more intense because of our bond." Nayara cautioned, irritated at herself for being rational and also for giving into her heightened emotions.

Lauren closed the distance between them and gently cupped Nayara's cheek, causing the brunette to melt into her touch. "Why do we have to be careful? We could continue lying to ourselves but we both know that we've felt an attraction to each other before the bond."

Nayara covered the blonde's hand with hers, savouring the moment before she brought their hands down to rest on their laps. "I don't want our friendship to suffer Lauren; besides, you're not over Bo."

The blonde smiled sweetly at the Fae sitting in front of her, "You are wonderful, do you know that?"

Nayara tried to diffuse the situation and made light of things. "This is your lack of restraint talking." she chuckled.

"True but I'm also being honest. You've done so much for me Nayara – I won't ever forget it." Lauren replied seriously as she looked sincerely into the brunette's eyes. "Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?" she asked softly. "I thought you were absolutely stunning and I found myself lost in your incredible blue eyes."

"Lauren…" the brunette tried to find an excuse to pull away or stop what was happening but she couldn't come up with a reason that mattered; all rational thought was rapidly dwindling. "My God, you're beautiful."

Lauren dipped her head and blushed; allowing her hair to act as a curtain to hide behind so that she could quickly regain her composure. Once she did, she looked deep into the Empath's eyes, "I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you but was afraid to try." The blonde adjusted herself so that one leg was half-kneeling on the couch and her right foot planted next to the brunette's feet; each hand was resting on the couch on either side of Nayara as she leaned in towards her, essentially trapping her in place. "I'm not afraid now." The blonde said in a husky voice as her eyes drifted from Nayara's eyes to her mouth.

The longing in Lauren's voice and the proximity of her body made the Empath's desire spike and whatever was left of her control, immediately went out the window when she felt the blonde's soft lips on hers. She instantly cupped Lauren's face in her hands and pulled her into her; forcing the blonde to straddle her as their mouths crashed against one another. Lauren's fingers wove themselves through Nayara's hair at the nape of her neck, while the brunette's hands found their way down Lauren's back and waist, holding her in place. At first, their kisses were slow and tender as they savoured the sensation of their lips on one another, but it quickly turned hungry and passionate; their hands roving over each other's bodies.

As their kisses intensified, Lauren was flooded with a wave of intense emotion. The blonde wasn't sure if it was the bond or if it was an affect of her physical contact with the Empath; all she knew was that she was experiencing exactly what Nayara was feeling at that moment and this connection was incredibly emotional and arousing. As strange and wonderful as the sensation was, the blonde wasn't afraid or concerned; instead it only made her feel closer to the Empath.

Nayara had fantasized about kissing Lauren and now that it was happening, it was so much better than she had ever imagined but she couldn't trust if it was because of their real feelings or if it was the bond making them act on their attraction. It took everything within her to rein her emotions in; with her hands gripping Lauren's waist, she lifted her off of her, effectively ending a very sexually and emotionally charged moment.

They were both breathing heavily as Nayara promptly stood and put some distance between them.

The Empath saw the puzzled look on the blonde's face. "I'm sorry Lauren… believe me I didn't want to stop but if I continued, I wouldn't want to leave your apartment tonight and we're not ready to take things further."

Lauren took a few deep breaths as the meaning behind Nayara's words sank in. "You're right." she said, her logical side agreeing with the brunette.

The Empath exhaled in relief. "Are we okay? I don't want things to be awkward between us."

The blonde nodded her head and smiled reassuringly, "Yes, we are okay. Though, I'd really like for us to talk about this after our bond ceases."

Nayara's eyes brightened, "I'd like that."

They both stood there gazing at one another; each hesitant to move. Finally, Nayara broke the silence. "I should go." she said softly and turned to make her way to the door.

Lauren's voice halted her movements. "You know, you can hug or kiss me goodnight. I won't bite… unless you want me to?" She smirked.

The Empath cocked her head and grinned, "I think its best if I don't answer that."

Nayara bridged the gap between them and gently kissed Lauren on her cheeks, alternating between left, right and left; before resting her forehead against the blonde's; breathing her in. They both stayed that way for a few moments before Lauren pulled away and kissed the brunette lightly on her forehead. "Good night Nay." she said sweetly.

The Empath nodded and said goodnight before walking out the door.

Lauren locked the door and leaned her back against it. She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, '_What are you doing?_' the sensible side of her said as she rolled her eyes upwards. The blonde was still adjusting to this euphoric bond that she had with the Empath - it simultaneously fascinated her and perplexed her. She smiled as her fingertips instinctively touched her mouth where only a few moments ago, Nayara's lips were.

Pushing away from the door, the blonde collected the dishes and put them in the dishwasher before turning off the lights in the kitchen. Despite everything going on in her life right now, Lauren didn't feel any guilt or regret about kissing Nayara. She knew that before the feeding, she cared about the Empath and had found her attractive but knew that she most likely wouldn't have acted upon it. Maybe the channelling did make her fearless and maybe the bond did heighten her feelings for Nayara but regardless of why she felt what she felt, she was glad that they kissed. It was very liberating to act on an emotion instead of ignoring it and burying it deep inside.

It was late and Lauren had a long day ahead of her tomorrow, so she got ready for bed. As she took her night clothes out of the drawer, she glanced at her cell phone and decided to check for messages.

Based on the date-time stamps, Bo had left a number of voice and text messages while she was in the Atlantic Forest and judging from their tone, the blonde gathered that the Succubus was drunk when she left some of them:

_* How are you? I hope you're ok and they're treating you well. *_

_* I miss you Lauren. I wish you were here. *_

_* Guess what? Trick installed a mechanical bull at the Dal! Its fun but it hurts like a bitch when you fall off! *_

_* How could you just run away? You didn't even stay and fight for us. *_

_* Vex is back in town and has his powers back! Thought that would appeal to your scientific curiosity. *_

_* You were willing to listen to Tamsin but you wouldn't even give me, your own girlfriend; a chance to explain what happened? *_

_* You always keep things from me as if I can't handle the truth and then you expect me to know what you're thinking and feeling?! *_

_* I love you Lauren. * _

_* There were two of us in this relationship. You brought your share of shit to the table and you put everything on me yet you didn't see me run away from us! *_

_* Please give me another chance. *_

_* How could you just leave without us talking things out? *_

_* What gives you the right to make a decision that affects us both?! I never got the chance to explain my side of things and you expect me to be okay with this?! *_

_* I'm so sorry Lauren. My life is empty without you in it. Please give me another chance. I want to make things right. *_

Normally Lauren would be upset – angry or crying or heartbroken - yet listening to and reading Bo's messages didn't phase her; it was as if a stranger called and texted her by mistake. She knew she should be upset but she just wasn't.

The blonde was very calm when she returned Bo's texts:

_* I'm fine. I've been very busy in the lab and field. *_

_* They're treating me well here so there's no need for you to worry. *_

_* Bo, I have to be honest, I don't believe you when you say that you love me. I also don't trust you after you lied to me about Dyson and Tamsin. *_

The blonde turned off her phone and put it away in the drawer. The rational side of her peeked through and was concerned that she texted Bo while she was in this state. However, all sensible thoughts rapidly disappeared and were replaced with a 'don't care' attitude. It was late and she was tired and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. Lauren had a superabundance of tests to complete in the lab this week before they went to the second Base Camp site to extract more samples. Her primary concern was to find a cure and not whether or not she should've responded to a text message.

_TBC_


	11. An Eventful Night

**Chapter 11 **– **"An Eventful Night"**

**Author's Notes:**

- Lost Girl is created by Michelle Lovretta and produced by Prodigy Pictures in association with Shaw Media. Some conversations are taken from 3x09, 3x10 and 3x13 – I'm not claiming them as my own. This is just how I wanted the conversations to occur in the first place.

- Sorry for the delay. Life and Beta'ing for other stories has been keeping me busy. Here's an extra long chapter for being so patient.

Again, thank you so much for your continued support with reading, following and commenting. It means a lot to me that you are invested in my characters and story.

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart for your ideas and great input.

* * *

The Dal Riata (26 days since Lauren left)

Bo was sitting at one of the tables at the back where it was more private. She didn't want to be disturbed – she just wanted to be alone with her Scotch. She was glad that Trick wasn't at the bar when she entered and ordered her drink; and now that the place was packed, he probably wouldn't even know that she was there - something that she was thankful for. She didn't have the energy to chat with anyone.

Bo couldn't understand how she lost sight of the important things in her life and how quickly things spiralled out of control because of it. She had passed the Dawning and in so doing, was stronger and was finally in tune with her Fae abilities - this gave her a confidence and sense of peace that she never thought she would have. To know that she had complete control of her Succubus powers and that she couldn't accidentally hurt anyone again, felt amazing. She was also surrounded by family and friends - something that she hadn't had since she ran away from home. And she had love. Had. Past tense. Bo knew that she should be appreciative and thankful for what she accomplished and what she had but it didn't seem to matter - all she felt was the heartache and the void of not having Lauren in her life; of not having her love and trust anymore.

Bo hadn't even uttered Lauren's name to anyone since she told Kenzi that Lauren ended their relationship and left for Brazil; choosing instead to internalize everything. Bo felt lost. Her emotions were chaotic - they fluctuated wildly and overwhelmed her so much so, that getting drunk and having sex were the only things that numbed her pain; and fighting was her only outlet to release her frustration and anger. Bo knew that it was fleeting; that it was a temporary reprieve in helping her forget her heartache; that it didn't fix anything as her pain was still there in the morning when she woke up with a hangover or stranger in her bed.

Images from a few nights ago came back to her in fragments. She didn't recall everything but what she did remember, filled her with regret. She couldn't believe that she got so drunk that she actually thought that the woman she was dancing with was Lauren. She couldn't believe that she had fallen so far. Looking at her cell phone, she realized that she had to recant her previous statement as she had sunk to a whole new low. She scrolled through the numerous text messages that she sent Lauren and felt embarrassed and angry that she did so while drunk. It was an incredibly stupid and immature thing to do and she wished that she could undo it.

Bo sighed heavily as she re-read Lauren's response about not believing or trusting her. The text was cold and abrupt but she knew that it reflected how Lauren felt and she really couldn't fault her for it – she knew that she would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. If anything, she was surprised that Lauren hadn't told her to stop contacting her.

Glancing at her watch, Bo remembered that she told Kenzi that she would meet her at The Carpe Noctem. A part of her didn't want to go but the other part of her wanted and needed the distraction. She drank the rest of her Scotch and exited the Dal without Trick seeing her.

Outside the Dal

The cool night air gently caressed the brunette's skin and helped clear some of the emotional cobwebs, giving her a sliver of hope that her night might improve. She was half-way to her Camaro when she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a certain blonde. Bo's eyes instantly flashed electric blue as she watched Tamsin get out of her truck and make her way into the Dal.

Right after Lauren left, Bo had gone looking for the Valkyrie but couldn't find her. Upon enquiring, Dyson informed her that Tamsin had some unexpected family business that she had to deal with and had left the city; that it was unknown how long she would be gone.

Whatever it was that the Valkyrie said to Lauren, she made her believe that Bo wasn't faithful to her and for that reason, Bo wanted to confront and subsequently kick the shit out of the Dark Fae. It was almost four weeks since Lauren left and Bo had been marinating in her heartache. Seeing the Valkyrie in front of her, triggered her anger and filled her with a rage that was indescribable. The only thoughts that filled the Succubus' mind were: _'This was Tamsin's fault… Lauren left because of Tamsin.'_

Bo took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down; her eyes reverting back to their normal chocolate brown. She needed to think of a way to get the blonde out of the Dal as it was neutral territory; plus Trick would interfere if they got into a fight within the bar. As she absentmindedly stared at Tamsin's truck parked in the alley, a grin slowly appeared on her face.

A few minutes later, Bo rushed into the Dal; her eyes scanning the bar for Tamsin before making a bee line for the Dark Fae. Bo contained her anger as she approached the Valkyrie. "Hey, you own a black pick up truck right?"

Tamsin looked up from her beer, a little surprised to see the Succubus. "Yeah, why?"

"I just saw a guy slicing the tires on it."

A scowl grew on the blonde's face as she thought who would be so stupid to mess with her truck. "What the fuck?!" Tamsin said as she rushed out the bar and towards her vehicle; Bo following right behind her.

The alley was quiet, deserted and dimly lit; the only light came streaming from the security lamp affixed to the back wall of the Dal. Tamsin stooped down to take a close look at the tires of her truck but besides the regular dents and scratched paint, it was as she left it – there was no additional damage. The Valkyrie was confused. "I thought you said someone was fucking with my truck? It's fine."

Bo wanted answers and in order to get that, she knew that she couldn't let her fists do the talking; she had to stay calm. She reined in her anger and kept the Succubus at bay. "Did you tell Lauren that we kissed?"

Tamsin stood up and looked incredulously at the brunette, "Are you serious? Is that what _**this**_ is about?"

"**Answer me**!" Bo bellowed; she wanted an answer and didn't have time for Tamsin's shit.

Tamsin rolled her eyes, "Yeah, what of it?"

"Why would you do that?" Bo really wanted to understand. Tamsin was the only one who believed her when the Kitsune body snatched Kenzi; she broke her out of the lockup in the Dal; and helped her rescue her best friend. Because of this, she was restraining herself and not bashing the Valkyrie's face in right now.

"I told her the truth." The blonde said in a matter of fact tone.

Bo was flabbergasted. "In what way was that the truth?"

"Are you ashamed of what happened between us?" Tamsin smirked as she walked into the brunette's personal space.

"Us? There's no us! You're delusional." Bo started pacing and put some distance between them. "And for the record, you kissed me!" She couldn't believe that Tamsin actually thought that there was something between them.

"Perhaps I initiated the kiss but you didn't pull away - you kissed me back." Tamsin countered.

"I'm a Succubus; you were aroused and caught me off guard. I would _**never**_ intentionally kiss you. I'm not even interested in you!" The brunette couldn't deny what happened but she also knew that she would never kiss Tamsin or anyone else unless she was seriously hurt and needed to heal.

Tamsin flinched at Bo's comment. It was a brief reaction that she immediately hid and which was quickly replaced with irritation. "Now you've gone and hurt my feeling. How ever will I get over the pain of your rejection? Oh, wait. I'm over it. Don't flatter yourself bitch!"

"So because I don't feel the same about you, that gives you the right to sabotage my relationship with Lauren?" Bo's anger was rising and she wasn't sure how long she would be able to control her temper.

"Whatevs! The world doesn't revolve around you Succubus. Get over yourself." Tamsin had enough and started to walk away from the brunette.

The Succubus was starting to stir. She was itching for a fight and the Fae that was at the top of her list was the Valkyrie that was currently walking away from her. Bo chased after the blonde; grabbed her wrist; and roughly turned her around to face her.

"Lauren broke up with me because of what you told her!" Bo yelled in the Dark Fae's face; poking her in the chest repeatedly with her index finger.

Tamsin pushed Bo away. "Oh please! If your relationship blew up because I told the Doc that we kissed, then news flash, you didn't have much of a relationship. If anything, you should be thanking me - I did you both a favour."

"What the fuck is your malfunction?! You are so close to getting your ass kick-!"

Tamsin smirked and interrupted Bo's rant. "If anyone's delusional here, it's you! You're a Succubus that wants to be in a monogamous relationship. And with a human! How fucked up is that?! You would've only hurt her in the end… she's better off without you."

Bo snapped and embraced her inner Succubus. She was tired of talking and as far as she was concerned, the Dark Fae just used up all her 'Get out of Jail Free' cards. The Valkyrie needed to be taught a lesson and she was going to start by wiping that smirk right off her face. In the blink of an eye, Bo's fist made contact with the blonde's mouth, effectively ending her gloating and busting her lip in the process.

"What was that _**Tam-Tam**_? You're mumbling. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full… of blood." The Succubus grinned as her eyes glowed electric blue. Tamsin spat on the ground and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand; she smiled and flashed her blood stained teeth at the brunette.

The two women circled each other slowly; assessing one another and readying themselves. "You want to do this old school do you? I'd be happy to show you how it's done. I am stronger and older." Tamsin declared.

"All I just heard was _**old**_." Bo taunted.

Tamsin snarled. She wasn't impressed that she allowed the Succubus to get in a sucker punch; much less her comment on her frailty and life span. "Baby Fae!"

"Dead woman!" Bo growled.

Both women rushed each other; punches were thrown and deftly dodged and blocked before they grappled onto one another and wrestled until their bodies crashed against the nearby brick building. Tamsin grabbed a fistful of Bo's hair and used her hold to bash the brunette's face against the wall a couple of times before she was able to break free.

The rough bricks had cut into Bo's flesh making it look like she had road rash on the left side of her face. "Oh, you just had to go for the face didn't you?" Bo exclaimed, grimacing as she wiped at the blood that was dripping into her eye. "No matter. This…" as she pointed to her injured face, "is still a huge improvement over your…" Bo's hand gestured in the vicinity of Tasmin's head, "Skeletor face."

"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me." the blonde sing-songed.

"Well, let me introduce you to my buddy, _**Stick**_." Bo swiftly picked up a broken wooden chair leg that was on the ground by the dumpster and swung it at Tamsin, smashing it into her rib cage. The impact of the blow caused the wood to shatter and sent the fragments scattering along the grimy alley road. "That's _**gotta**_ hurt!" the Succubus laughed.

The blonde bent over and clutched at her side, snarling. "You're going to pay for that bitch!"

"Promises, promises. Bring it!" Bo taunted angrily.

Tamsin charged at the brunette, shoving her into the dumpster and delivered a rapid series of punches to Bo's injured face and to her midsection. Bo countered and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and roughly pushed her head down into her rising knee; sending the Valkyrie flying backwards; her nose broken and bleeding.

The blonde grinned and eyed the Succubus; both had blood dripping down their faces. Bo was a worthy adversary and the Dark Fae enjoyed a good fight. With a roundhouse kick, her foot made contact with Bo's head and sent her staggering back into the wall. Tamsin quickly pounced on her and held her in place as her face started to morph - her ivory Nordic complexion darkened and her features became sunken as a skeletal face looked back at Bo. "_You don't want to fight me. You want to succumb."_ The blonde said, using her ability to inflict doubt and fear.

"What I want is your hideous Skeletor face out of mine." The Succubus growled and delivered a right hook to Tamsin's face. The Dark Fae recovered and pushed Bo back against the wall. "Impressive but you can't resist me forever."

"That's my line." Bo grabbed Tamsin's head in her hands, keeping her face in place as she started to draw on the Valkyrie's chi.

After a few seconds, Tamsin was finally able to push Bo away. Both women were now panting; their injuries starting to take their toll. "Tastes like fear to me. Delicious." Bo continued to taunt.

"Playtimes over!" Tamsin declared as she delivered a series of high kicks to Bo's face and torso, sending her flying backwards.

The Succubus was doubled over, catching her breath; she was tired of this dance. She waited till Tamsin was within arm's reach and rapidly unleashed a powerful combination of jabs, right crosses and left hooks to the Valkyrie's head and torso; dazing the blonde and causing her to stagger backwards. Bo moved in and finished her attack with a strong upper cut that sent the Dark Fae flying through the air and landing on her back; knocking the wind out of her. Tamsin lay there shaking her head in order to clear her blurry vision but before she could stand up, Bo was already kneeling on her, pinning her to the ground; her hands gripping the blonde's shirt collar and lifting her upper body so that she could suck the chi from her body and thereby ending the fight for good.

Tamsin knew that she was in no position to retaliate - she had no energy and she was at the Succubus' mercy. Despite her dire circumstances, she wasn't afraid. She had been living on borrowed time for awhile as she was at the end of her lifespan. If she had a choice, she'd rather die in battle as it was the honourable way to go.

Bo and Tamsin stared each other down; the Succubus' eyes glowed blue as the adrenaline coursed through her body. The Valkyrie's calm voice broke the silence. "You can blame me all you want and you can kill me for it, but you and I both know that your relationship was in trouble before I kissed you. So, continue lying to yourself but _**this**_ is on you; not me."

Bo hesitated and it showed in her eyes. Tamsin's words hit home. She hurt the person she loved the most in life and now that Lauren was gone, she couldn't function; she felt empty. Lauren had made it clear in her letter how she felt Bo had hurt her and here she was being a coward for not accepting responsibility for it.

"**Finish it**!" the blonde shouted. A part of her wanted this done for good. She was tired of waiting for her end.

"No." Bo released her hold, letting Tamsin fall back to the ground with a thud; her blue eyes faded and reverted to her dark brown color. Bo stood up and put some distance between her and the blonde; silencing her inner Succubus' protests. The brunette's voice was resigned; there was no more anger, only acceptance of the situation. She turned to look at the Valkyrie, "I don't know why you kissed me and I don't care. Even though Lauren and I aren't together any more, I still love her. I'm still in love with her."

Bo released a sigh as she maintained eye contact with the blonde. "As for you and I; the most we could _**ever**_ be is friends and I'm using that word _**very**_ loosely… You would be wise to stay away from me." Bo turned and walked away before she changed her mind; returning to the Dal and leaving Tamsin in the alley.

The Valkyrie didn't move. Moving caused pain. Her body throbbed all over and not in the good way. Instead, she opted to remain laying on the dirty, grimy ground until the pain from her numerous broken and cracked bones, receded. As she lay there, she closed her eyes and wished for an ice cold beer to miraculously appear in her hand. Unfortunately, none materialized and she let out a pitiful groan in frustration.

The Dal Riata

The Succubus sat at the far end of the bar, looking worse for wear. She was covered in blood but was oblivious to her current appearance. Bo had a lot on her mind; all thoughts of meeting Kenzi were forgotten; she just needed to think. Before Trick could ask her anything, the brunette ordered a drink and silenced him with a look. The Blood King knew when to leave his granddaughter alone; pushing her would only make things worse; she needed time.

Bo sat there playing with her whiskey tumbler; slowly rotating it in her hands; mesmerized by the condensation on the glass and the various water mark trails she could leave on the bar top. The brunette had been nursing the same drink for the past 30 minutes as she continually replayed her conversation with Tamsin. She hated to admit it but the Dark Fae was right - if their relationship was healthy, Tamsin's kiss would never have caused their break up; but it did, which meant that things weren't as strong as Bo wished they were. The Valkyrie wasn't to blame for the end of her relationship - she just gave it the final push.

Looking back, Bo had seen signs that Lauren wasn't happy but chose to ignore it, thinking that maybe she was reading things wrong. After all, what did she know about relationships? She also had a lot on her mind with her possible devolution and the fact that dead Fae were found murdered and she was the prime suspect. However, these were all excuses and she knew that. She could've made the time and effort but instead she allowed herself to get caught up in her own personal shit that she didn't consider everything Lauren had sacrificed for her; and Kenzi as well. Bo was Unaligned - she chose humans over Fae but as she sat there at the bar, it dawned on her that she had let down the two humans in her life – the two people who were most important to her. She realized that she ended up choosing herself despite all her best intentions.

Bo sighed. Things were a mess and she knew that she needed to fix things; she couldn't continue the way she had been. Bo didn't recognize herself anymore – she was a shell of herself - she wasn't happy and she didn't believe in anything as she had lost her hope, her love and her passion. How could she ask Lauren to give her another chance if she was such a mess? And why would Lauren even want to come back to her if she hadn't changed?

Trick was drying beer glasses and observing his granddaughter from the other end of the bar. He was concerned about her ever since Lauren left but he knew that there was nothing that he could say or do to make her feel better or stop her from the path that she was taking. The Blood King watched as Dyson entered the bar; both Fae nodded their hello's as the Detective made his way over to the Succubus. Bo was roused out of her thoughts as the wolf sat next to her.

"What happened to you?" he asked; concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing." she said quietly.

"Really? Because it looks like you were hit by a truck." Dyson retorted.

"I just had a wake up call… it had to be beaten into my thick skull." Bo laughed sadly.

Dyson didn't understand her comment but knew better to not pursue it. "You need to heal." He said calmly.

"I'm not in the mood. Besides, I've done enough healing these last few weeks and it's done more harm than good… I've been ignoring my problems and they won't go away. I can't ignore them any longer." The brunette said matter of factly.

"I don't understand." Dyson knew that Bo had been very moody since Lauren left to go on assignment but didn't know if her cryptic statement was related to Lauren's absence or something else altogether.

Bo sighed as she pushed her glass away. "I've been putting off a lot of things – not wanting to address them because I was either afraid to or I didn't know how to; so instead, I ignored it. But I can't do that anymore. It already cost me too much. So, I have to start setting things right and I might as well start with you."

"Start with me?" Dyson had his suspicions as to where this conversation was headed.

Bo nodded and exhaled. "I need to talk about what happened at the Dawning."

The Detective had been waiting for the other shoe to drop ever since he told Bo that he had his love back; it was just a matter of when she was ready to address it. "Okay."

The brunette knew that she had to say this - that she should've had this conversation a long time ago when she had her suspicions about Dyson getting his love back. "I need you to know that I appreciate so much what you were willing to risk for me. But I also need you to know that I am still in love with Lauren."

"Alright." Dyson said softly. He already knew what Bo was going to say before she even said it. It was painfully obvious that she was in love with the doctor. It killed him to see how Bo looked at Lauren as she used to look at him that way before he sacrificed his love. But he couldn't force Bo to be in love with him again.

"Alright?" Bo didn't think he would understand and accept so easily.

"Bo, I think the tales of my romantic heroism might be slightly exaggerated." He chuckled and gently reached out and held her hand.

"You volunteered to be my hand knowing that you weren't getting out alive." She stated incredulously.

"Then why aren't I dead?" Dyson squeezed her hand. "We've been through a lot together Bo and the main thing that I've learned is that the people, who underestimate you, always lose. When I volunteered, I wasn't risking my life. I was trusting that you would save it."

Bo gave him a sad smile. "I wish I could've saved my relationship." She looked up from their hands and into Dyson's eyes and sighed. "You know, Lauren thought that you were going to swoop in and take me away from her? Turns out, I've done a fine job screwing it up all by myself."

Bo paused to collect herself; her emotions were raw and she knew that she had no one but herself to blame. "Lauren left me - she even took a plane to make sure she put enough distance between us. I still love her but I'm afraid that she… she may not love me anymore." Bo finally said it. She was afraid that Lauren was no longer in love with her because of all their mistakes and lack of communication.

Dyson understood her emotional pain as he had been experiencing it ever since he got his love back. The irony wasn't lost on him that he was sitting with the woman he considered to be his mate and they were discussing her heartache for someone else. "We're gonna need shots." Dyson reached across the bar and grabbed a bottle and two shot glasses.

Bo sighed and held back her tears; she felt like an idiot when it came to being in relationships – first Dyson and now Lauren; her relationships ended in disaster. "Tell me the truth, was it hard dating me?"

Dyson chuckled sadly, "It was harder losing you."

Bo felt relieved to finally be honest with Dyson; she was glad that they didn't have this unspoken tension between them anymore; it felt as if they were now in a good place. "I'm glad that we talked about this….You know even after everything we have been through, I'm really glad that we ended up here."

A comfortable silence fell between them; they chugged back their drinks as they sat there lost in their thoughts; shot glasses sitting idly in their hands. Bo's declaration of love for Lauren was final – she couldn't be any clearer. Dyson always knew that Bo was in love with Lauren but he thought that it would pass even though deep down he knew that he was only maintaining false hope. Talking with Bo, he knew that he couldn't continue holding out hope as it would affect their friendship and he would rather that they be friends than have nothing.

He also realized that he had to accept that what they had was over. Maybe they would have another opportunity to be together in the future but no one knew what life had planned. He also couldn't hold out for the possibility of something happening as that was no way for him to live – always hoping for something that may not occur; it would be a life half-lived. What he did know was that he still loved Bo and he hated seeing how hurt she was. If he could help her be happy, even if it were in someone else's arms, he would do it; he would do anything for her.

With that acceptance, Dyson did something that he never though he would do. With as much sincerity that he could muster, he said, "For what it's worth, she really does love you… I can tell."

Bo was jarred out of her thoughts upon hearing Dyson. She couldn't believe what she heard. If Dyson, who considered Lauren to be a rival for her affections, could admit that Lauren still loved her, it had to be true; there was still a chance. The brunette smiled at that possibility but just as quickly, doubt crept in and took over; her smile faltering. "How can you even know that?"

"I'm not blind Bo. I've seen the way Lauren looks at you. Time and time again, she took risks to help you, knowing that as a slave to the Light, she could be punished for it; but she did it anyway. People only take reckless chances like that in the name of love… Trust me on that."

Bo sighed, "I don't know Dyson…"

The Detective continued, "The day before your Dawning, I went to her apartment to drop off a case file and she told me that she had a hard time believing that she ever found someone like you… That you even existed." Dyson remembered the moment when the blonde made that declaration; it hung in the air between them – they both felt the same way for Bo and in an odd way, it was the closest that he ever felt to the doctor. Relating this story to the Succubus, Dyson felt a strange sense of release. His accepting that his mate was in love with another, freed him from the emotional chains that tied him down – his anger, jealousy, frustration, depression - it didn't have such an intense hold on him anymore; he knew that it was a first step but this was the most unburdened that he had felt since the Norn took his love away.

Bo quietly thought about what Dyson just told her; wanting desperately to believe him. She eventually shook her head sadly; her belief that she lost Lauren forever, eclipsed everything. "It doesn't make a difference anymore. Lauren doesn't believe that I love her and she doesn't trust me because I wasn't honest with her."

Dyson was shocked. "Then you make her believe you! Since when do you give up, Bo? You're too stubborn to quit!"

The brunette couldn't hold back her tears any longer. "I let her down Dyson! I took her and our relationship for granted and I made her doubt my love for her… Every waking minute of every day that she's been gone, I've thought about going after her. What stops me from doing that is the fact that she left – that she doesn't want to be with me... It's not a matter of being stubborn. I'm trying to respect her decision even though it's killing me to do so."

Bo wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks; her voice broken, "I don't know how I can ever get over her."

There was nothing else that Dyson could say to help. Bo's mind was made up. The most he could offer was a comforting shoulder to lean on if she wanted it. "More shots." Dyson said as he poured alcohol into their glasses and handed one to her. They clinked their glasses and chugged back their drinks; wincing as the liquid burned its way down their throats.

A few minutes passed and the alcohol started to take affect. Bo ached, emotionally and physically; in fact, she was certain that her body was swearing at her for the thrashing that she received from Tamsin. It was time to go home and get some rest. "I'm beat. I'm gonna head home… See you around?"

"Sure. Good night." Dyson smiled sadly as he watched his former mate walk out of the Dal and out of his heart.

As Bo walked to her Camaro, she texted Kenzi apologizing for not meeting up with her, stating that she was heading home as she was tired. All Bo wanted right now was to be home.

Crack Shack

Once home, the brunette took a long, hot shower to clean the alley way grime off of her, as well as, all the dried blood that covered her body. Had she known that she looked so ghastly and bloody, she would've gone straight home instead of staying at the Dal. She was surprised that the Fae in the bar weren't staring at her; granted she was a bit preoccupied so it was quite possible that she didn't notice if they were.

Even though she was incredibly sore everywhere, the shower helped make her feel a bit better. Instead of looking like a bloody bruise on legs, she was now a clean and slightly refreshed bruise on legs that chose to get into her comfiest comfy clothes and curl up on the couch. Though she was completely exhausted, she couldn't sleep as her mind was going a mile a minute. Now that she recognized and acknowledged the part she played in her relationship's demise, she didn't know what to do.

* * *

Kenzi came home to find Bo with her legs curled up on the couch; the room dimly lit. The petite woman was surprised to see Bo alone and dressed in sweats as opposed to being naked and draped in the arms of one of her conquests. The Goth noticed that the brunette was battered and bruised and looked very despondent, so when she sat next to friend, she didn't say a word; instead she put her arm around her shoulder. At the physical contact, Bo leaned into her Russian friend, wrapped her arms around her and broke down crying; she couldn't keep it in anymore. As much as Kenzi's heart broke for Bo, she was thankful to see that she was finally acknowledging her pain. They stayed huddled into each other for some time; the sound of Bo's sobs piercing through the silence while Kenzi comforted her.

After Bo was all cried out, she sat up and wiped her red, swollen eyes with the sleeve of her sweat shirt. Kenzi got up and returned moments later with a box of Kleenex which the brunette desperately needed. As they sat on the couch; Bo blew her nose loudly, creating a small mountain of used tissues on the coffee table. The tiny Goth waited patiently as she knew that Bo was finally ready to talk.

"I really messed things up Kenz. Not just my part in causing Lauren to leave and how pathetically I've been behaving but I… I did something really stupid. I think I made things worse with Lauren." Bo confessed.

"What do you mean?" Kenzi didn't understand how Bo could have made things worse seeing that Hot Pants wasn't even here.

Bo timidly said, "I, umm, I've been leaving Lauren voice and texts messages whenever I've been drinking; it's been the only time I've had the nerve to contact her. Some of them have been… angry."

"Oh-kay. Can I see?" The Goth asked calmly; wondering how bad it could really be.

Bo scrolled to the texts that she sent and hesitantly handed her mobile phone over to Kenzi.

The Goth sat on the edge of the couch, her elbows resting on her knees and the cell phone in her hands; she quietly mouthed the words as she read.

_* How are you? I hope you're ok and they're treating you well. *_  
_* I miss you Lauren. I wish you were here. *_  
_* Guess what? Trick installed a mechanical bull at the Dal! Its fun but it hurts like a bitch when you fall off! *_

Kenzi shook her head as she continued to read; meanwhile the brunette twirled her hair nervously around her fingers as she watched her friend.

_* How could you just run away? You didn't even stay and fight for us. *_  
_* Vex is back in town and has his powers back! Thought that would appeal to your scientific curiosity. *_  
_* You were willing to listen to Tamsin but you wouldn't even give me, your own girlfriend; a chance to explain what happened? *  
* You always keep things from me as if I can't handle the truth and then you expect me to know what you're thinking and feeling?! *_

"Really Bo?!" Kenzi muttered as she briefly looked up at her friend before continuing to read the train wreck of texts. The brunette squirmed in her seat ashamed.

_* I love you Lauren. * _  
_* There were two of us in this relationship. You brought your share of shit to the table and you put everything on me yet you didn't see me run away from us! *_

Kenzi shook her head, groaning. "No! You didn't send that!?" Bo made an embarrassed scrunched up face at her friend's comment as she continued to squeeze the life out of the couch pillow that was resting on her lap._  
_  
_* Please give me another chance. *_  
_* How could you just leave without us talking things out? *_  
_* What gives you the right to make a decision that affects us both?! I never got the chance to explain my side of things and you expect me to be okay with this?! *  
* I'm so sorry Lauren. My life is empty without you in it. Please give me another chance. I want to make things right. *_

The tiny Goth made a hissing sound. "Ohhh… this would make a good 'after school special' on why drunk texting is a bad, _**bad** _idea." The Succubus buried her face into the pillow, absolutely mortified. If Kenzi thought this about her texts, she can only imagine what Lauren thought. All the worse case scenarios that she had envisioned before suddenly grew worse.

Kenzi hesitantly moved on to the Doc's replies; she wasn't sure what to expect from the blonde after she read Bo's texts. To say that reading these personal texts made her feel a bit awkward, would an understatement.

_* I'm fine. I've been very busy in the lab and field. *  
* They're treating me well here so there's no need for you to worry. *  
* Bo, I have to be honest, I don't believe you when you say that you love me. I also don't trust you after you lied to me about Dyson and Tamsin. *_

"Ouch! Dr. Freeze is back…not that I blame her." the Goth muttered.

Kenzi sat staring blankly at the mobile as she let everything she just read, sink in. The silence was suddenly broken when Kenzi did a face palm. "Jesus Bo! Single white female much?"

"I know, I know. I can't believe I turned into a Succu-stalker!" Bo was wringing the pillow in her hands. "I come across clingy, angry, depressed and immature. What a great way to make a good impression to try and win her back." Bo felt embarrassed by what she had done and also angry that her actions pushed Lauren to retaliate. "Did you read her response? I'm actually surprised that she didn't tell me to fuck off; to leave her alone and to stop contacting her." Bo threw her head back so that it was resting against the couch; shaking her head in disgust as she looked at the ceiling.

"Is that what you want - to win her back?" Kenzi asked.

"I can't picture my life without Lauren in it but she doesn't want me. She left me remember?" Bo covered her face with her hands.

Kenzi grabbed her friend's hands and pulled them down to her lap; giving them a squeeze. "Lauren loves you Bo. She's just hurting – this is her way of dealing and getting some space. And you didn't answer my question – do you want her back?"

Bo knew that Kenzi was being serious as she just called Lauren by her name and not any of her numerous nicknames. "Yes… but I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start."

The tiny Russian looked the brunette in the eyes. "Do you want it straight up – the honest, brutal truth? And promise that you won't go all Succubitch on me?"

"Yes, I do. And I promise." Bo replied genuinely and nodded her head.

Kenzi stood up; she needed to stand just in case Bo didn't take it well. She had been waiting for this moment – for Bo to be open to what she had to say; she only hoped that her friend would listen. She turned to face the brunette and maintained eye contact. "You need to get your head out of your ass and get your shit together – you're a fucking mess. Take responsibility for what you've done and stop feeling sorry for yourself - you've been doing that for the past month and look where it's gotten you. You've been getting into fights, getting drunk and having sex with a different person or Fae every single night. I get that you blame yourself for the break up but _**this**_ isn't working. You are _**not**_ happy."

The Goth paused, checking to see that what she was saying was getting through to the brunette and that there were no blue eyes glowing back at her. Seeing that she still had Bo's attention, she continued. "If you want Lauren back, you have to fight for her. You need to find her; beg for her forgiveness; let her know that you are aware that you messed up; and you need to be _**very**_ patient - the Doc won't run back to you with open arms. But most importantly, you need to be honest about everything; otherwise it'll only make things worse. I'm not saying to bend over and take it - you have to call her on her shit as it wasn't all you… well, mostly you but still… it takes two to tango. You wanted to be in a relationship Bo. This is what it takes. Are you ready to fix things?"

Bo's eyes were brimmed with tears; she knew that Kenzi was right – she and her best friend had come to the same conclusion, essentially confirming that she made a mess of things and that it was time to own up to it and fix it. She nodded her head resolutely. "Yes, I'm ready. I want Lauren back more than anything."

"Are you certain? Because if you do this, you have to go all the way; you can't afford to do less." Kenzi cautioned.

Bo was adamant. "I've never been more certain. I've been unhappy and pathetic without her and I know that I've made everyone else's life – yours most especially – miserable." This was the first time since Lauren had left, that the brunette felt confident and sure of anything – she had been hiding and ignoring the truth for too long. This was the right decision; it was the only decision.

The Succubus shook her head and smiled at her friend as she plopped back down on the sofa; putting her boots up on the coffee table. "When did you get to be so wise?"

Kenzi grinned and flashed her pearly whites, patting Bo's hand, "I've always been wise, Grasshopper. Just everyone here in Fae-nation has been blind to my awesomeness."

Bo chuckled at her friend. "I bow before you oh wise sensei. First thing tomorrow, I'm going to meet with Hale and find out where Lauren is. But right now, I really need to get some rest. I'm exhausted."

The Goth nodded her head and made a scrunched up face. "You really do BoBo. If there was ever a time that you needed beauty rest, it's now. You look like shit… like death warmed over repeatedly… like an Ogre chewed you up and spit you out... like-"

Bo interrupted. "I get the point Kenz, thanks."

"What?! It's true! You've definitely looked better… hotter… less lumpy and bruised." The petite woman gestured at Bo's head and torso.

"Yeah, well you can thank Tamsin for that." Bo revealed.

"She did **_this_ **to you?! I'm so going to kick her freakin' Dark Fae ass… well, I can distract her and you can kick her ass. Just tell me when and we'll get 'Operation Kick Ass' in motion!" Kenzi was angry – first for what Tamsin did to Lauren and now this.

It was the second time that night that her best friend got her to chuckle. "Calm down Kemo Sabe. I started it." Kenzi produced an eye roll at that admission. "I know! Big surprise but I had my reasons. I didn't tell you this before but in Lauren's letter, she said that Tamsin took great pleasure in telling her about the kiss and that's why she left. I've wanted to confront Tamsin ever since I read that but she was out of the city. So when I saw her tonight, it was like something snapped inside me. I just wanted her to suffer; I wanted to hurt her like she hurt Lauren. So, once she was outside the Dal, I asked her and when she confirmed it, I hit her… it was all downhill from there."

"What happened?" the young Russian asked as she sat on the edge of the couch.

"We fought for awhile, trading blows and insults. I know I look horrible but she looks worse. I busted up her face and I think I broke a few of her ribs. I left her lying flat on her back in the nasty ass alley behind the Dal. And no, I didn't kill her… though I was really tempted to suck her dry."

"What stopped you?" Kenzi was curious. She was glad that Bo told her about Tamsin; after she had snooped-read Lauren's letter, she knew that Bo would be very upset about the Valkyrie. She was just surprised that her friend was able to stop herself from finishing off the Dark Fae.

"Tamsin said something that made me realize that my relationship had issues before she ever said anything to Lauren. She said that I could blame her all I wanted but the truth was that it was all on me. It made me realize that I was ignoring my part in all of this. Tamsin may have given our relationship the final push off the cliff but I took us to the edge to begin with." Bo sighed heavily.

"Sounds like you had an eventful night Bo-Bo. For what it's worth, I'm glad that you finally figured it out." Kenzi smiled sadly at her friend.

Bo looked directly into the Goth's eyes, "I'm sorry that it took so long for me to figure it out. I really am Kenz. I'm sorry for all the shit that I put you through these past few weeks." Bo said solemnly.

"You've always been a slow learner." Kenzi teased; it was her way of accepting Bo's apology.

The Succubus moved towards her friend and unfortunately, it was a little too quickly for her body's liking. Grunting from the pain, she said, "You're lucky that my bruises have bruises, otherwise, I'd come over there and slap you."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not into that S&M shit. No wonder Vex likes you." Kenzi wiggled her eyebrows at the brunette. "I'd settle for a hug instead." Kenzi said in a low but serious voice.

"Deal! But you have to come over here cuz I was serious about my bruises having bruises. I really do ache all over." The brunette whined.

The tiny Goth quickly covered the distance between them; flinging her arms around the brunette and hugged her tight. Kenzi's death grip caused Bo to groan in pain but she didn't budge, she was overcome with joy that her actions hadn't pushed her best friend away.

Kenzi had missed her best friend and was so relieved to have her back. "I missed you Succubum." She whispered into Bo's ear. She knew that the brunette still had a rocky road ahead of her but at least she was finally on track and ready to make some much needed changes.

"I missed you too Kenz. I am really sorry." Bo apologized; kissing the side of her friend's head.

Kenzi pulled away gently so that she could look her friend in the eyes. "You're forgiven but you still owe me a few shopping sprees. Add a month's supply of take-out to this arrangement - my choice for a month – and we're good!"

Bo smiled, "You drive a hard bargain but you got yourself a deal. Let me speak with Hale first and I'll make good on my promises."

Bo was looking forward to tomorrow; to talking to Hale and finding out where Lauren was so that she could fly there and make things right between them. Aside from some serious soul searching, she wasn't exactly sure how she was going to fix things but she would do whatever it would take to get Lauren back. Failing was not an option.

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning." Bo yawned as she slowly got off the couch; grimacing in pain.

Kenzi used the newly acquired couch real estate to stretch out and turn on the game console so that she could start her killing spree of robot hookers. "You mean, _**later**_ in the morning. Tell Hale 'hola!' for me and when you get back, I want all the deets."

The brunette nodded and hobbled out of the living room; making her slow, excruciating ascent to her bedroom. In the mean time, the tiny Goth had started her war on the evil, slutty robots. When Bo finally made it to the top of the stairs, she stopped and yelled down. "**Oh I almost forgot. I told Dyson that even though he has his love back, I am very much in love with Lauren. I made it very clear to him and it's all good. Niiiight!**"

It took a second to process what she just heard. "**BACK UP THE BUS! Say what?!**" Kenzi stood up, stopping in mid-kill. Instead she was greeted with silence as Bo had already gone into her room and shut the door; completely disregarding the fact that she had dropped a bombshell on her friend and left her hanging. The Goth continued staring at the empty stairs dumbstruck; her game controller dangling at her side. A few seconds passed before she was able to collect herself and sat back down on the couch. By the time she returned her attention to her game, it was too late - a crazed gang of hookers had already killed her avatar and were doing the robot dance on her corpse.

_TBC_

* * *

**Author's note: **

- Unfortunately, Kenzi's avatar was killed during the writing of this chapter. There was a very private service and a closed casket due to the extent of the injuries. Kenzi's avatar's peeps have sworn bloody revenge on all robot hookers and all of their sympathizers. Condolences can be sent to the Crack Shack; Kenzi is accepting food primarily in the form of burgers and extra cheese pizzas.


	12. Endless Possibilities

**Chapter 12 **- **"Endless Possibilities" **

**Author's Notes:**

Sorry for the radio silence, I was hit with a nasty bout of writer's block. It was a painful and excruciating experience that turned my brain into mush and my fingers to nubs; preventing me from forming sentences and from hen-pecking at the keyboard. But seriously, it was Ugly (and I mean that with a capital 'U'), looking at a blank screen isn't pretty.

Thank you all for your patience as I worked through it and for all your wonderful comments on my last chapter.

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart, for all your help and insight; and to T. for being ubber patient with me and for being an awesome sounding board.

* * *

Compound - Gym (evening - day 25 evening)

"Move it Lewis! Thirty seconds! Come on, hit it harder! Just picture someone who really ticks you off and lay into it!" Serena bellowed.

The blonde grunted as she continued her assault on the bag; sweat rolled down her face and into her eyes, stinging them. Images of Tamsin and Dyson inadvertently appeared in her mind and the anger that flared within her caught her off-guard. Lauren's arms pistoned back and forth rapidly as she increased the power behind each blow; her rage fuelling her body. Her fists connected solidly with each punch, thrusting Serena and the heavy bag backwards repeatedly, surprising and forcing the Ignis her to re-adjust her stance in order to provide more resistance behind the bag.

"Fifteen seconds left…. That's it! Harder!" the Light Fae encouraged.

Blonde hair was plastered to her damp forehead; her ponytail swinging from side to side as her body turned into each punch. Lauren's breathing was heavy; the muscles in her arms and forearms, burning as she focused all her energy into her punches. Her gloved hands were a blur as they moved; combinations of left and right crosses, jabs and upper cuts slammed against the bag. The doctor's thoughts wandered momentarily to distract from the biting pain in all her muscles - she imagined that if she were hitting a person, they would've taken multiple blows to the head and body, resulting in cuts to the eyelids, cheeks and lips, a broken jaw, cracked ribs and bruised internal organs. Lauren wasn't a violent person but she had to admit that over these last few weeks, boxing proved to be a great release for her and she had noticed an improvement in her strength and coordination.

"Five… four… three… two… one. Done!"

"Uggghhh!" Lauren leaned against the heavy bag; wrapping her arms around it to keep herself upright. Her muscles were so taut that it felt as if they would burst out of her skin. She was beyond exhausted; the perspiration from her face, neck and arms smeared onto the bag as she clung to it. The blonde allowed her body to slowly slide down the bag till her butt and legs made contact with the ground before gently falling backwards to lay on the floor. Her arms and legs sprawled haphazardly as she enjoyed the cool sensation against her skin.

"That about… killed me." She panted as her chest rose and fell with each gasping breath.

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And you're definitely stronger – your punches have more power behind it; your reflexes are faster when you dodge and block; and you're lighter on your feet when we spar." Serena said genuinely.

Lauren raised her head to look up at the Ignis, a tired smile plastered on her face and all memory of her anger, long forgotten. "Are you, Serena Thorne, paying me a compliment? If so, I'd do a celebratory fist pump but I'm too exhausted to move."

Serena responded with a raised eyebrow before offering her hand; helping the blonde to her feet.

Lauren's apartment (Day 26)

Lauren awoke well rested - her intense workout last night ensured a good night's sleep. As per her usual routine, the blonde arrived at the lab early, conducting a mental checklist of things she had to do. She wanted to make sure she finished all her testing within the next few days before they went to the field; she knew that if she didn't meet her self-imposed deadline there would be a backlog of specimens to test upon their return.

Normally, the blonde was the first one in the lab but as she walked through the outer lab's main doors, she stopped dead in her tracks. Twenty feet ahead of her through the inner lab's glass double doors, was Bo. She was pacing back and forth amidst a sea of laboratory equipment, looking impatiently at her watch. Time seemed to stand still as Lauren gazed at the distracted brunette who had no idea that she was being observed. Bo looked breathtaking; her long, brown, wavy hair framed her face and flowed down her shoulders; her deep purple tank top hugged her torso; and her black leggings and knee high boots clung to her toned legs. Lauren smiled and felt butterflies in her stomach. She didn't expect this to be her reaction but she was definitely happy to see the brunette; she hadn't realized how much she had missed her. The only thing that was stopping her from running through those doors and towards Bo was that she was still processing the fact that Bo was in Brazil for her – there could be no other reason for her presence. She couldn't believe that after everything that had happened between them, Bo still came looking for her; most likely to work things out. The blonde couldn't stop smiling. The thought of them working their relationship out never crossed her mind until now. Lauren had thought that things were too far gone for their relationship to be saved but looking at Bo now, she couldn't consider not trying.

Before Lauren could say or do anything, she heard a clattering sound come from the inner lab. Unfortunately, the privacy panels running along either side of the glass doors restricted her vision to line of sight. Because of this she was only able to observe Bo look up from her watch and walk towards the sound before she lost sight of her. The blonde assumed that whatever it was, involved Kenzi, as the Goth was attracted to shiny objects and was never far away from her friend. Lauren smiled thinking of the petite woman; she had to admit that she missed her crazy antics. The doctor sighed, closed her eyes as she collected herself and tried to figure out what she was going to say to Bo – saying that things would be awkward between them would be an understatement, nevertheless, she was willing to try.

As she nervously ran her fingers through her hair and gathered her courage, Lauren heard a loud sound, startling her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Bo slumped against one of the lab tables; the equipment that resided there, strewn about the floor. Concerned, Lauren cast her anxiety aside to find out what was happening but was surprised to find the doors were locked. The fact that these doors were never secured before had her puzzled. Averting her attention from her glass barrier, the doctor saw Bo lunge forward and out of sight before hearing what sounded like a skirmish. With her heart racing, the blonde quickly re-focused her attention on the doors - all that mattered was that she get into the inner lab to help Bo. She yanked back on them repeatedly but it was to no avail – they were not budging. Just then, she saw a pair of hands reach for Bo and that's when her heart dropped. For the second time that morning, time stood still. '_This can't be happening._' flashed through her mind.

The pair of hands belonged to the blonde Valkyrie who was roughly pawing at Bo's neck, breasts and hips. Lauren closed her eyes and shook her head in an attempt to clear her vision. _"I must be hallucinating."_ she thought. When she opened her eyes again, Bo's fingers were entangled in blonde tresses and she was kissing Tamsin passionately. Lauren felt sick to her stomach; her hands now braced against the handles of the glass doors for support. She wanted to look away but couldn't; it was like being at the scene of a car accident knowing that it was a horrific sight but still feeling compelled to watch.

Just when she thought that things couldn't get worse, Dyson appeared out of nowhere, grinning at both women. Bo shifted her attention to the wolf as he approached her and with a seductive smile on her face, she cupped his cheek and captured his mouth with hers. The vein in Lauren's temple throbbed as she watched Bo alternate between the two Fae standing in front of her; kissing each of them hungrily. Lauren continued to observe the strange scene unfold in front of her, thinking it was something out of an erotic 'Twilight Zone' episode. _"None of this makes sense."_ she thought. Suddenly, Bo pushed the two Detectives towards one another causing a surprised unintelligible sound to escape from Lauren's mouth as she watched the two partners kiss and grope one another while Bo looked on; her eyes a bright electric blue. After a few moments and with a snap of her fingers, they pried their mouths away from each other and turned their attention back to the Succubus; their hands roaming all over her body; their mouths latched onto either side of her neck causing her to close her eyes in pleasure. Lauren's emotions quickly shifted from being hurt and heart broken to that of intense rage. All thoughts of reconciliation were instantly flushed down the toilet. In that exact moment, Bo's blue eyes blinked open and she stared straight at Lauren who refused to crumble under such intense scrutiny. The Succubus held the blonde's gaze and smirked; she then grabbed Dyson and Tamsin by the back of their necks and began kissing them, all the while maintaining eye contact with the blonde.

"**BITCH**!" The doctor growled out as she slammed her fist against the glass door in anger; the impact causing a loud banging sound to reverberate throughout the lab.

However, the echo didn't fade; instead the sound only grew louder despite the fact that Lauren was no longer hitting the door. The blonde couldn't understand where the incessant noise was coming from or what was causing it as the volume continued to increase. It soon became difficult to think and she had to cover her ears with her hands to block out the now annoying high pitched buzzing sound.

BUZZZ! BUZZZ! BUZZZ!

Lauren abruptly sat up in bed; the blaring alarm clock jarring her out of her dream. After turning off the alarm, the blonde fell back into bed and closed her eyes; resting the back of her hand against her forehead. Her heart was beating rapidly from the emotions dredged up by her horrible dream. Everything had seemed so real. Bo, Dyson and Tamsin had seemed so real and despite her rational nature, Lauren still felt the sting of 'dream' Bo's cruel actions as she tasted bile in her mouth.

The blonde finally blinked her eyes open as she quietly laid there trying to get her breathing under control. It was a few moments later before she realized that the heaviness that she felt in her heart hadn't disappeared and that all the feelings that had seemingly vanished over the last five days were front and centre again. Lauren let out a deep sigh knowing that the bond that she shared with Nayara had faded during the course of the night and her reprieve was unfortunately, over. She had no choice now but to live with her feelings.

After Lauren shook the dregs of her dream out of her mind, she allowed herself to fully wake up and run through her morning routine of getting ready for work and going to the dining hall. It was while staring at her plate of food trying unsuccessfully to sift through the barrage of emotions, that she realized that she would have to go through the healing process all over again; the thought of which completely overwhelmed her and left her feeling hopeless. Sighing loudly she picked up her tray of uneaten food and deposited it before making her way to the lab.

When she walked into the lab, Lauren faltered at the sight of the double glass doors; her dream replayed in her mind as she stood rooted to the spot. The blonde took a couple of deep, cleansing breaths to regain her composure. "_It was just a dream; it wasn't real."_ she repeated to herself as she finally pushed through the doors and glanced at the table that 'dream' Bo was standing in front of. Giving her head a quick shake to clear the images out of her mind, Lauren made a beeline for her office. In that moment she decided that she would cocoon herself away and immerse herself in test reports as she didn't know how to handle this feeling of despondence. Until she figured it out, she opted to distract herself.

* * *

It was later in the morning when Nayara made her way over to Lauren's office to check on her. The blonde was so engrossed with what she was doing that she didn't notice the brunette walk in, lean comfortably against the door frame and cross her arms. Nayara observed Lauren for a few more seconds and smiled at the way the blonde unconsciously nibbled on her bottom lip when she was in deep concentration.

The Empath cleared her throat. "Good morning."

Lauren jumped slightly, causing the brunette to chuckle. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Hi. It's fine. I was just preoccupied with this report."

"Yes because those reports are so riveting." The brunette said sarcastically causing them both to laugh. Nayara noticed the dark circles under her friend's eyes. "You look like crap. How are you feeling?"

Lauren rolled her eyes at the brunette, "Just peachy." she said sarcastically. "Even though I knew that our bond was temporary, I still felt unprepared when it occurred. Everything just feels overwhelming and raw all over again." She stood up and walked to the front of her desk; leaning back on it as she faced her friend. "Enough about me, how are you doing?"

"I am off-kilter; sorting out what was real and what was heightened… It will take time to adjust…. for both of us."

Lauren bowed her head momentarily before looking up into Nayara's eyes. "I'm sorry that we had to avoid being alone together these past few days. I missed us hanging out."

"I did too and it's okay; it was necessary. We probably would've done something that we would've regretted if we didn't take precautions." Nayara paused before continuing. "For what it's worth, you won't feel this way for long. It's just the shock of everything returning all at once. It will get better and it won't seem as difficult. I promise." Nayara gently reassured her.

Lauren didn't respond; all her emotions were caught in her throat, restricting her speech. She really hoped that Nayara was right as she really didn't know how she would be able to go through this all over again.

The Empath's voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I'll let you get back to work."

Lauren nodded and watched sadly as her friend turned and walked away. She knew that things were awkward between them and she appreciated that Nayara was being patient and understanding with her. The blonde knew that she would have to talk to her at some point but now was not the time for it; besides she wasn't sure what she was going to say. All she knew was that they would have to talk soon. If there was anything Lauren had learnt from her relationship with Bo was that communication was important and she didn't want to make the same mistake twice.

Lauren's apartment (later that evening)

Lauren paced back and forth; she couldn't sit still. She had already done a quick cleaning of the apartment and threw some laundry in the washing machine to occupy herself but nothing worked to soothe her heart and calm her thoughts. She looked at her cell phone for the umpteenth time, checking for messages but there were none; she hadn't heard back from Bo ever since she had returned her texts. As Lauren re-read the texts she sent, she sighed. She was glad that she was honest; however she regretted how she expressed herself. She didn't mean to come across as cold and uncaring; and she really couldn't blame Bo for not replying as her text seemed final.

The blonde felt as if the walls were closing in on her and decided to go for a walk to clear her head and get a change of scenery. After walking around the compound for a few minutes, Lauren wasn't surprised to find herself in front of Nayara's apartment even though it wasn't her intended destination.

Lauren took a deep breath and exhaled before knocking. A few seconds later, she heard footsteps before the door unlocked.

"Hi." She breathed out when the door opened.

Nayara smiled, "Hi."

"I hope I'm not interrupting?" Lauren said as she fidgeted in front of the door.

"Not at all. Come in."

Lauren made her way to her usual spot on the couch, making herself comfortable as Nayara went to the kitchen to grab them a couple of beers.

The blonde smiled as the Empath handed her a bottle before sitting down. "Thanks." They both took a long sip of their beer as silence filled the room.

After what seemed like eternity, Lauren bit the bullet and looked into Nayara's beautiful blue eyes, "I'd like to address the elephant in the room."

"Okay." The brunette said calmly. Nayara had found it difficult keeping her distance from the blonde over the last few days and now, with their bond broken, she found it challenging to sort out her feelings; but despite her own emotional upheaval, she knew that it was worse for Lauren. Because of this, she didn't want to push the blonde into talking about what happened between them. She however, had hoped that this would be that discussion because she hated that their friendship was somewhat strained.

The blonde exhaled, put her beer down on the coffee table and rested her hands in her lap. "I said some things when we were bonded; things that I wouldn't normally say because, well, I'm guarded and controlled... big surprise, I know."

Both women laughed, releasing some of the tension that they felt.

Lauren grew serious again, maintaining eye contact. "But it doesn't negate the fact I meant what I said. I am attracted to you Nay - very much so. I know that things are awkward between us because we kissed and I know that I should regret it but I don't. Instead of normally ignoring my thoughts and feelings, I acted on it and I'm glad that I did because it was wonderful and real for me."

"But?" the Empath prompted, knowing that there was more.

"But I'm an emotional mess and much to my chagrin, despite how much Bo has hurt me, I am still in love with her. I really wish that I wasn't as it would make it easier to move on and get through this so-called life of mine." Lauren sighed, wringing her hands together. "As much as I'd like to see where things could lead between us, it wouldn't be fair to you as I'd only end up hurting you. You're my best friend Nay and I care about you too much to do that."

Nayara smiled sadly, "I know."

"I only hope that I haven't jeopardized our friendship." the blonde said hesitantly.

Nayara put her beer down and reached out to gently take one of the blonde's hands. "You haven't Lauren. Don't think that. You are my best friend and I care about you greatly. Yes, our bonding heightened those feelings and even though I wasn't expecting it to be romantic in nature, I don't regret anything as it made me realize that I wasn't being true to myself. I was trying to deny my feelings and for an Empath, that isn't healthy."

Lauren looked down at their hands sadly before looking back at her friend. "I'm sorry that I put you in this position Nay. I was so focused on my pain that I didn't think of how it could or would affect you."

Nayara shook her head. "Don't be sorry. I did this to help you and if I had to do things all over again, I wouldn't change a thing…. But in the spirit of honesty, I do wish we were more than friends."

Lauren's brown eyes grew wide at this revelation. Even though she suspected Nayara had feelings for her, hearing it out loud made it real and intensified the guilt she felt over the whole situation. The blonde opened her mouth to say something but Nayara held up her free hand to stop her.

"Please let me finish. I understand and accept everything that you've told me. I have never been blind to your situation or how you feel for Bo; because of that, I knew that it could never work between us. It's just that our bonding made it difficult to reconcile that fact." Nayara sighed deeply. "I've been alive for many lifetimes Lauren and I've experienced more than you can imagine. I…" The brunette stopped in mid-sentence as if assessing whether she should continue with that train of thought. "Just know that I cherish our friendship and I would never do anything to jeopardize it or make you feel uncomfortable."

"I know that Nay. I never doubted that for a moment." Lauren smiled tenderly at her friend before reaching for her beer.

A comfortable silence fell between the two women as they quietly pondered over what they discussed. "Where do we stand now?" Lauren asked hesitantly before taking a sip from her bottle.

"Well, I can live with us being really good friends who find each other _**incredibly**_ hot."

Lauren, not expecting that response, choked on her beer, causing the brunette to laugh out loud.

The blonde covered her mouth, coughing repeatedly. Once composed, she shook her head and smiled at Nayara. "I can live with that too."

"You realize that I'll still flirt with you shamelessly but if I find that you can't control yourself around me, I'll stop. I'm not that cruel." The Empath teased.

"I'm sure that I can handle it but I do appreciate your being so considerate." Lauren said sarcastically.

"Anytime."

Lauren's tone turned serious again. "I did mean what I said before… when we were bonded. You are wonderful and I really don't know how I could've gotten through these past few weeks if I hadn't have met you."

"You're a lot stronger than you think Lauren." The Empath encouraged.

"Please don't downplay this Nayara. I mean it. Thank you for everything."

Nayara nodded and pulled her friend in for a hug; both women smiling within the embrace.

With the tension and awkwardness gone, Nayara asked, "So, how are you doing… really?"

"I'm having a difficult time adjusting to my emotions being back." Lauren sighed.

"It is normal. You just need to give yourself time to acclimatize." Nayara explained.

"These last few days that we were bonded, I felt calm. And aside from us avoiding being alone with one another, I still felt at peace with myself. But now, everything is chaotic; it's hard to concentrate; and my heart feels heavy… Those five days made me forget how I felt before and now I feel as if I'm back at square one. I don't know if I have the strength to do this again." Lauren admitted sadly.

"You _**can**_ get through this; your emotions are just overpowering you right now. I know that it feels as if you have to start over but you don't. I promise you will feel better about things soon. It won't seem so intense and overwhelming once you have a good night's sleep and once you give yourself time to adjust."

"I really hope you're right." Lauren sighed.

"Who do you think you're talking to? I'm always right!" the brunette said feigning false modesty, eliciting a chuckle from the blonde.

"You've come a long way since you arrived in Brazil. Don't sell yourself short Lauren."

The blonde smiled at her friend in appreciation.

"Would you like to talk about Bo?" the Empath offered knowing that Lauren's feelings about the Succubus were at the forefront of her pain.

"I'd rather not right now. My emotions are jumbled and I'm still trying to sort them out. Besides, we always talk about me. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Why is it that I don't know anything personal about you?" Lauren enquired.

The Empath shook her head. "You know a lot about me."

"I know that you are exactly 2,214 years old but you don't look a day over 35; you are an Aries…." Both women smiled before the blonde continued speaking. "I know that you've travelled extensively and lived all over the world; that you are multilingual and that you've held numerous careers, some of which were: teacher, painter, singer, Archaeologist, Curator, Linguist, Nurse, Psychiatrist, Physician and last but not least, Medical Research Scientist."

"Not bad. You do listen." Nayara grinned.

"Sometimes. What I don't know is why is it that an incredibly beautiful, smart and caring woman as yourself doesn't have someone special in her life?" Lauren asked.

"Well, that's a long story." The Empath said sadly.

"I have time." Lauren adjusted herself on the couch, making herself more comfortable.

Nayara contemplated whether she should divulge anything about her past. Because of her inherent ability, she was normally the one listening to others' problems and was never the one talking about them; in fact, it had been an incredibly long time since anyone had ever asked her if she wanted to discuss what was bothering her. The Empath exhaled deeply; for a being that was very emotional, she was also very controlled – controlling of her privacy and of her past; the downside being that it was exhausting not letting anyone in; and she was tired of living that way. As Nayara gazed at Lauren, she couldn't think of anyone else that she would rather share her past with. "I don't know where to start."

"Wherever you would like." Lauren said softly.

Nayara released a heavy sigh and settled back into the couch.

_I came from an affluent family in São Paulo. My mother, who was also an Empath, died when I was 11. After her death, my father couldn't cope and isolated himself from me by involving himself heavily in every social and political event imaginable, so I hardly saw him growing up. Being an only child and an Empath, I was left alone to fend for myself; discovering my abilities and not knowing what to do or how to manage – this all during the worst moment of my childhood. Fortunately, I had a wonderful nanny, who helped me learn about my powers otherwise I would've gone crazy. But aside from her, I was on my own and free to do whatever I wanted, which was both good and bad. Let's just say, I got myself into a lot of trouble growing up. _

_In my early 20's I started travelling. If it was one thing that my father did for me, it was to make sure that I had enough money, so I used that to my advantage and travelled a lot. What started as a vacation to Bora Bora turned out to be the beginning of my love for travel as I never returned home after that trip. Looking back, it's funny how naïve I was. Back then, my reasons for travelling was to escape; to get away from my non-existent life at home or rather my non-existent family; it had nothing to do with experiencing various cultures and their history or the wonder of being somewhere new and different._

_But I was young. I was very carefree, feeding from whomever I chose; doing whatever I wanted and being with whomever I wanted. I didn't do serious relationships. I didn't care about responsibilities or ties or consequences. I just wanted to do my own thing; after all, it was all I knew. I loved being spontaneous - if I woke up and wanted to go to Scotland or Moscow or Rome, I went. _

_I was like that for most of my first millennia before I grew tired of all the drinking, partying, sex and just being aimless. I decided I needed a change, so I used my immortality to my benefit and started studying and exploring different careers in various countries to determine what I wanted to do. I essentially would choose a job that I considered interesting and then studied within that field and followed that career path. I quickly learned about budgeting and responsibility once I started working and became financially independent, no longer needing to rely on my father as I earned and built my own wealth._

_Over time, my interests would change or there would no longer be a challenge with that particular job or if I were living amongst humans, I had to leave before it was noticed that I didn't age. Whatever the reason, I moved on to a different career and country and started the process all over again; hence all the jobs that I've held. However, no matter how fulfilling working within my field of choice was, I still felt as if something was missing from my life._

_When I was 1,885 years old, my father was very ill and I returned home from Spain, to be with him and say my goodbyes. It was my first time back home since I had left and I was no longer that young, naïve girl. I had matured considerably since he had last seen me and he had become very introspective during his illness, so we were able to mend some bridges before he passed away but I never got over his abandoning me. Being the only heir, everything was left to me, including the family mansion which was devoid of warmth and love. I just wanted to sell it all and leave for good as there were more negative memories than good ones but I just couldn't bring myself to do so because whatever was left of my mother was still in that house. Instead, I arranged for custodial staff to take care of the mansion and I found an apartment until I could decide what to do next. As I had my own medical practice in Spain, I figured I could use my experience as a doctor here until I made a decision about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to live. _

_My first day on the job at the São Paulo Light Fae Compound's hospital, I met a doctor named Gabriel who was assigned to show me around so I wouldn't get lost. I remember thinking how handsome he was and that if the job was boring, that at least some good would come out of this. It turned out the job was incredibly boring but I didn't care, Gabriel and I had hit it off immediately - it was the first time I didn't leave a job for that reason. He and I just had this connection; we had so much in common and really understood one another; and for the first time ever, I could be myself completely. Any thoughts of leaving Brazil quickly vanished as we fell deeply in love and married within a short period of time._

_We both decided that my familial house would be the ideal place to live – to make the house a home and create new, happy memories there. For the first time since I left home in my 20's, I had found a place that I wanted to stay and settle down. The irony wasn't lost on me that it took me most of my life to figure out that everything that I wanted and needed was here all along and that I had to run away to learn that lesson. _

_Gabriel and I travelled extensively and we enjoyed experiencing and learning about new, exotic locations and cultures together. We also volunteered with an organization similar to 'doctors without borders' and for two months every year we went to developing countries and helped those in need. Everything was just better with Gabriel at my side; we were partners in every sense of the word and that hole that I had felt inside me all my life was finally filled; I had never been happier._

_After 105 years of marriage, with all our travelling and volunteering behind us, we decided that it was time to start a family of our own and had a little boy, Téo. He was a beautiful, sweet, inquisitive boy with sandy brown curls, just like his father. I never thought I could be so happy and it warmed my heart knowing that my parent's mansion was filled with love and the sound of a child's laughter after so many years without. _

_One day everything changed. Gabriel went to pick up Téo from school while I was at work. According to witness reports, it happened so quickly that no one had time to react. The police said that Dark Fae were targeting one of the Light Fae Elders who was there to pick up their child from school and they didn't care who got caught in the crossfire. Twenty-three children and adults died that day, including my Gabriel and Téo. My son was 10 years old when he was taken from me. _

_I was a mess. I closed myself off from everyone – friends, co-workers and in-laws. It was then that I finally understood what my father went through when my mother died. I had lost my soul mate of 115 years and my son; I never thought I could feel so lost and empty._

_I changed careers as I couldn't work in the same place that Gabriel and I had worked and I moved out of the mansion as it was too difficult living there with everything a reminder. Instead, I filled my time with work to the point of exhaustion before I realized that I was tainting their memory by just existing and not living; Gabriel and Téo wouldn't want me to be so unhappy. So I try to live my life to the fullest for them; in their memory. It's been 214 years since and it has gotten better - I've learned to live again and to love myself and life._

Nayara let out a long sigh after telling her story. "It's been a long time since I've talked to anyone about myself." She said with tear filled eyes.

Lauren, who had been listening intently, was moved by her friend's pain and loss; deep sorrow reflected in her eyes. She reached out and enveloped the brunette in a warm embrace, holding her tightly. "I'm so sorry Nay." whispered into her hair.

The Empath melted within her friend's arms; time had relieved most of her pain but it still lingered and will always be a part of her, however feeling the physical comfort from another, eased some of the residual grief.

After a few moments, Nayara pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm okay; sometimes my emotions surprise me…. I know I'm an Empath."

Both women chuckled at the comment.

"I appreciate that you trusted me enough to tell me about your past. It means a lot Nay." Lauren said genuinely as she squeezed her friend's hand.

"Well, aside from wanting to confide in you, I also had another reason for telling you." The brunette admitted, sniffing back the rest of her tears.

"Oh? And what reason is that?"

"I wanted you to know that I speak from experience when I say this. I think that you need to find other outlets to help you filter your feelings. I think if you took up a hobby - something outside of Science to occupy your mind and calm your spirit - it would be healthier for you."

"Oh-kay. I don't understand where this is coming from though."

Nayara looked directly in Lauren's warm brown eyes. "You need something more in your life Lauren; something other than Science. You need something that is yours; that you are passionate about; and that you enjoy doing outside of work and that is independent of others. Of course, having people in your life would be great but in case that is not possible…."

The brunette's voice hitched in her throat and as she continued to speak, there was a hint of sorrow, "If I could change things I would. And if it was possible and you wanted to, I think you would be very happy living here. What I'm trying to say is that as much as I would love for you to stay here, you would have to return to Toronto at some point. Call it selfish on my part but I couldn't bear thinking of you just managing to survive day by day. I know you and you wouldn't be able to continue as you have been for the last six years - too much has happened. You need something _**more**_ than just existing. You need to have some kind of enjoyment in your life and after everything that has happened, I don't think that you can get that from Science alone, especially what Science has come to mean for you with the Fae."

"What do you suggest?" the blonde asked, feeling the weight and truth of Nayara's words. She didn't want to think about Toronto but she knew that it was inevitable.

"I think you already know."

Lauren didn't have to guess. "I only sing when I'm happy and I can't see myself ever being content as a slave to the Light once I return there; and as for other people in my life, well, that'll probably be next to nil." The blonde felt dejected just thinking about the bleak life waiting for her.

Nayara sensed this. "I'm really sorry for bringing this up, truly I am. But I do think you need to consider changing the way you've been doing things and you need to figure this out _**before**_ you return to Toronto. I think you agree with me on that."

Lauren nodded, unable to speak.

The Empath continued her explanation. "Sometimes you need to force things to happen. You know when you've had a bad day and someone smiles at you and you can't help but smile back?" Lauren nodded again. "Well, maybe forcing yourself to sing can help bring you some joy, even if it's only for a moment." Nayara explained. "First you have one moment and then another and another; and before you know it, it adds up. I know that that's a simplistic example and I am by no means making light of your situation. I cannot imagine what it must be like… but what I do know is that you cannot continue this way - you need to replace what was lost with something else no matter how insignificant it may seem... I tell you this from experience."

Lauren was sceptical but she trusted Nayara and right now she didn't have any options upon her return to Toronto. "I have some doubts about your theory but I promise I will keep it in mind."

"That's all I ask. And while you consider that option, I have something for you." Nayara got up from the couch. "Be right back."

Nayara left and went into her bedroom; when she returned, she was smiling and carrying a guitar case in her hand.

The Empath handed the case to Lauren. "Here. One of the guys in the lab had an extra guitar and I borrowed it for you. It's yours to use for the remainder of your time here."

Lauren shook her head. "I appreciate it Nay but I couldn't."

In a resolute tone, the Empath said, "Look, I'm not taking this back to Bernard and the guitar is not staying here, so you're going to have to leave with it."

The blonde chuckled at her friend's gumption as she took the case and opened it; smiling, she plucked at the strings before her fingers slowly glided over the smooth body of the instrument. "Thanks." She said genuinely.

"Oh, you will be thanking me alright. Now that you have a guitar, we could practice a few songs together for concert night at Base Camp and blow the male Scientists quartet out of the water! Not that I'm competitive or anything."

"Not at all." Lauren mocked the brunette.

"Besides, it's better to be prepared than forced on stage; not that you know what that's like." The Empath winked at her friend. "No pressure of course."

"Of course not." Lauren chuckled. "Wow, it's been awhile since I've performed with anyone. It'll be fun! And I'll finally get to hear you sing." she said as she smiled brightly at Nayara. "So, what songs do you have in mind?"

Lauren's apartment (Day 31)

Over the next few days Lauren followed Nayara's advice of giving herself time to adjust. She stuck to her routine of working in the lab, boxing with Serena and hanging out with Nayara; being careful of not falling back into old, unhealthy habits of working late and not eating. She also started playing the guitar during her down time, which surprisingly, she enjoyed, so that whenever she and Nayara hung out, they practiced for the concert.

Lauren quickly discovered that focusing on other things – healthy things – helped her not ruminate on her pain as much and she soon started to feel a bit better, lighter and not as depressed. This solution that Nayara suggested, though simplistic in nature, was an eye opener for the blonde and it gave her some hope for getting past her heartache and for her future with the Fae upon her return to Toronto.

Lauren didn't lie to herself; she knew that she sometimes avoided thinking about Bo and the pain associated with their relationship, after all distance did help. However, she also knew that acceptance and time were vital and necessary for her to heal. Because of this understanding, she did her best to try and accept what transpired; to learn from that experience; and to be patient and allow herself time to get past the pain so that she could function normally. She had by no means perfected this but she still had time to work on it before she returned to Toronto. Her hope was that she could achieve a healthier state of mind before then.

Until that happened, she was going to focus on the here and now; and that entailed preparing for her second trip into the field tomorrow. Lauren hadn't forgotten her purpose in Brazil – a cure for the epidemic was her priority. They would be heading to the second Base Camp, which meant different villages and new samples. Aside from enjoying being in the field, this trip meant more specimens would be collected, which would create a significant increase in their information pool as they would have data to compare against the first Base Camp. Any similarities would bring them a step closer to finding a cure.

Tomorrow would mark the beginning of a brand new day and endless possibilities. Lauren couldn't wait to start.

* * *

**Author's notes:**

Without giving details away, just bear with me a teeny bit longer. The moment you have been patiently waiting for is getting closer. Just keep in mind that nothing is ever easy.


	13. One Step at a Time

**Chapter 13** – **"One Step at a Time"**

**Author's Notes:**

Sorry for the delay. Sometimes when writing, a story gets its own ideas and unexpectedly goes off in a different direction or tangent and in my case, messed with all my upcoming timelines. So, I had to re-work everything after chapter 12. That took a while to sort out.

As for your questions about 'the moment you've been waiting for', everyone has different ideas about what that is. I decided the best way to answer that would be for you to read about it. (Yes, I know, that's just cruel. You should totally comment on how cruel that is after reading this chapter.)

Thanks to my Beta, Neytiri's Heart, for helping me stay true to the characters; to Spcecadet for her awesome suggestions; and to my friend Bev for helping me talk out and re-vamp the entire story's timeline – you're a lifesaver!

* * *

The Crack Shack (27 days since Lauren left)

Bo was up and out of bed early, much to her body's dismay. She had gashes and bruises all over her body and every single muscle ached, however, she didn't let that deter her. All she wanted was to get to Hale's office and find out where Lauren was. Healing would come after; Lauren's location was priority.

It was 7:30 A.M. when the brunette limped into the Light Fae Compound. Bo was greeted by the sounds of silence as there was no one around except for the guards which was a welcome change to the chaotic noise that was her life this past month. As she made her way through the quiet corridors to the Ash's office, it finally occurred to Bo why Lauren liked coming in early. The brunette always thought that it was about work but it was most likely the peace and quiet that the early morning afforded her and the fact that it was probably one of the few times in the day when Lauren wasn't surrounded by Fae. Just thinking about the blonde made Bo's heart ache and she wondered if things would ever get better; if her girlfriend would ever forgive her. She shook her head to physically chase away the negative thoughts – she was determined to find Lauren and make things right between them.

Bo pulled herself together as she opened the door to the Ash's outer office. The office was eerily quiet despite the fact that there were five Fae sitting in the waiting area along the far wall. Bo walked past them and headed straight for Hale's assistant, stopping in front of his desk. "Good morning. I'm here to see Hale."

Surok, the Ash's assistant, looked up from the paperwork on his desk. "You mean the **Ash**_**.**_" he emphasized. "Do you have an appointment?" he asked haughtily.

"No, I don't but I'm sure that he'll make time to see me."

"I'm sorry but the Ash has a full schedule today, you will have to make an appointment. Let's see…." Surok scanned through the electronic calendar. "His next available time is a week and a half from now. Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. Does that work for you?"

"No that doesn't work for me!" Bo almost shouted. She took a breath to calm herself. "Just… please let him know that Bo is here."

"I know who you are but I'm sorry, I cannot. You do not have an appointment and the Ash has a very busy schedule this morning." The assistant reiterated this point by nodding his head towards the Fae in the waiting room.

The brunette didn't have time for this. She didn't come here just to be turned away before talking to Hale. The Succubus subtly leaned forward and gently touched Surok's hand, sending a low pulse through him; the warmth of her hand on his was the only indication of what she was doing. "I'm sure you can squeeze me in. It won't take long." Bo said sweetly.

The assistant's stern look quickly faded and was replaced with a silly smile, "Of course. Anything for you." He said through hooded eyes as he ushered Bo into Hale's office.

Hearing the door open, Hale looked up from his stack of papers and noticed the glazed look on his assistant's face. "That will be all Surok." The Ash said. The Fae hesitated for a second, his hand lingering on the door knob as he took a final, longing glace at the brunette before closing the door behind him.

"Bo. Hi. You look like shit!"

"Hi. Yeah, I know. I ran into a problem last night but I was able to resolve it. I'll heal." Bo said as she stood in the centre of the office.

Hale stood up and made his way to the front of his desk, straightening and buttoning his jacket as he walked. This was a habit that he had developed ever since he came into office. He discovered, through Kenzi, that if his outward appearance showed him to be impeccably dressed and well put together, it made a strong, positive impression on others. That coupled with the simple act of smoothing and buttoning his jacket helped him feel collected and mentally prepared. "So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

Bo decided to cut to the chase. "I need a favour, Hale. I need to know where Lauren is. I… I need to fix things between us."

Hale was expecting this. He knew that when Lauren left, Bo would eventually pay him a visit but knowing this didn't alleviate his discomfort. "I'm actually surprised that it's taken you this long to come see me. I've been expecting you for some time. Regardless, I cannot tell you where she is."

Bo was taken aback. She had not anticipated that Hale would not tell her where Lauren was. It never occurred to her that he wouldn't give her the information. "You know how I feel about Lauren. I thought you of all people would understand. Why won't you tell me where she is?" she asked perplexed.

Hale sighed. "Bo, I don't know the whole story but what I do know is that the Doc wanted out. She knew that you were aware that Dyson had his love back and begged me to send her on this assignment as she didn't want to be around either of you. All she wanted was to get away to sort things out while also helping others."

Bo's heart lurched. She already knew that Lauren had requested this assignment but hearing it from Hale was just further proof of how much she had hurt the woman she loved. Lauren was never one to reveal her fears or emotional concerns as she didn't want to be considered weak yet she confided in Hale instead of her girlfriend. Bo knew that Lauren had to have been at her wit's end to do so. The brunette also knew that Lauren never ran from anything - she always faced things head on regardless of the risk or consequence but in this situation she ran. Bo let out a heavy sigh; she was starting to doubt her resolve and berated herself._ "How could I have been so self-absorbed to not see how unhappy she was to the point that she couldn't be around me anymore?" _

The brunette held back her tears and gathered herself. Now wasn't the time for self-pity or self-flagellation; she had to convince Hale to help her. She had to find Lauren. "I know that I hurt Lauren but I want to make it up to her, Hale. **Please**_**,**_ tell me where she is. I need to apologize to her and make things right."

The Siren felt horrible. He heard the desperation in the Succubus' voice but he had to stick to his decision as well as honour Lauren's request. "I can't Bo. I am sorry but there is too much at stake here – for Lauren, for the Fae that she's trying to save and for me. I can't have you going after her especially the way that you've been."

"What do you mean by **the way that I've been**?!" Bo's patience was dwindling; she was getting nowhere fast and Hale's outward indifference was making her angry.

Hale was also losing his patience. "You really want me to spell it out for you? I've received numerous reports and complaints about you every day for the last month – issues about the unaligned Succubus being intoxicated, destroying property and getting into numerous fights, causing serious injury to Dark and Light Fae. You are unstable Bo and there is **no** **way** that I'll let you go after Lauren to hurt her or undo what she is trying to accomplish."

The anger and disappointment resonated in Bo's voice. "I wouldn't hurt Lauren! I can't believe that you really think so little of me! I thought we were friends Hale."

It was now Hale's turn to be angry; his voice laced with frustration. "It's because we're friends that I looked the other way and ignored requests to have you punished! It's because we're friends that I repeatedly convinced the Morrigan to not go after you!"

"I never asked you to do that! I can take care of myself." Bo said, interrupting the Siren's rant.

Hale couldn't believe the Succubus' gall and scoffed at her. "You really think that don't you? The fact of the matter is that you've only survived this long because your friends have been helping and protecting you. Even though I am the Acting Ash, my time here is tenuous and I put that on the line every time I defended you against the Light Fae Elders. My hope was that you would come around but you didn't and each time I came to your defence, it was to the detriment of my reputation and good standing with the Light Fae community. Did you really think that there would be no consequences to your actions? Did you really think that no one would notice all the Fae you've injured and all the property that you've destroyed? Whatever rep that you built these past few years, you've now tarnished with your actions."

Bo was speechless.

The Siren continued with his tirade. "You accuse me of not being a friend but what about you? You are only here now because you want something from me. And what did you do when you got here?"

Bo went to interject but Hale cut her off, pointing to the small TV screen on his desk that had a live feed of the outer office. "Don't even deny it - I saw and heard you. You couldn't even be respectful of me and my position in front of my assistant and when he refused your request, you enthralled him even though he was only doing his job. You then cut in front of all the Fae who have been waiting weeks to get an appointment with this office and demand information from me. And why? Because Bo Dennis wants what she wants immediately, regardless of others. Isn't that what got you into this situation to begin with – your disregard for others? Isn't that why Lauren left? So don't come preaching to me about friendship. Take a good, long look in the mirror and get back to me when you understand what you're preaching about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. Please show yourself out."

Hale turned away and made his way back to his chair, not looking at Bo.

The brunette stood there for a few moments, dumbstruck by everything that the Siren said, before turning and leaving his office; the sound of the door shutting behind her breaking the silence. Hale was angry. He knew that he was harsh. He hadn't intended to unload a verbal barrage onto Bo but she was being a selfish ass and had been inconsiderate and irresponsible for far too long. He didn't realize how much her actions had affected him this past month until her attitude pushed him over the edge. He sighed and allowed himself to calm down before he buzzed Surok to let his next appointment in.

* * *

Bo walked or rather limped, to clear her head; she didn't know where she was going, just that she couldn't be behind the wheel right now as she found it impossible to get Hale's words out of her mind. She was filled with so much hope when she woke up this morning; hope of finding out where Lauren was and then going to her. Instead her heart and spirit felt heavier than ever which she didn't think was possible. The truth hurt but she had to accept it. Hale's words made her realize how incredibly selfish and inconsiderate she had been. She was so focused on fixing things with Lauren and Kenzi that she hadn't even considered the consequences of her actions to those around her.

Bo felt as if she were drowning – drowning in her heartache and in her disappointment of all the poor choices she made. Right now all she wanted was a few stiff drinks to silence her thoughts and feelings. Drinking was her go-to solution to numb everything but she refused to succumb. The brunette knew that the time for quick fixes had passed - that's what got her in this predicament to begin with. Instead she stopped at a diner and picked up two large coffees before making her way back to her car and heading home.

The Crack Shack

As she walked in, Bo was surprised to see a half-awake Kenzi slouched on the couch. "Kenz? What are you doing up? It's 9 A.M."

The Goth groaned as she tilted her head back and to the side as she looked in her friend's direction; the couch supporting her head. "Gahhh, I think my body is in shock and having a bad reaction. I'm serious. I think I have a fever." She brought the back of her hand up to her forehead to check her temperature before sitting up straight. "I was just about to call you to see how things went with Hale."

The brunette sighed as she plopped down next to her friend, handing her a coffee cup. "It didn't."

Kenzi scrunched up her face, "Whaddya mean?"

Bo recounted the entire conversation and how Hale refused to give her any information on Lauren.

"Wow, I didn't see that coming." Genuine surprise was etched on the Goth's face as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I didn't either. He's right though - I screwed up royally. I **will** make things right but I just want to fix things with Lauren. How do I get him to see that I've changed and that I won't hurt her or screw up what she's trying to accomplish?"

Kenzi knew that she had to intercede. "Let me talk to Hale. I'll get him to listen. But it will go a long way if you kept out of trouble for awhile – you know, to show that you're serious about things."

Bo nodded her thanks and understanding. "I can do that."

After a few moments, the Goth added, "I also think you need to make amends to those that tried to help you while you were Succu-slutting it up."

Bo ran her hand through her hair and sighed, "I don't think Hale wants to see me anytime soon."

"I agree. You need to give him time to cool off. However, I was talking about Vex."

"Vex?"

"Dude, you started so many fights in his bar and busted up his place each time but he never mesmered you or reported you to the Morrigan. I also lost count how many times he helped me calm you down so that we could get you home safely or how often he looked out for you when I wasn't around." Kenzi explained.

The brunette was truly ashamed; she hadn't realized how much she had put Kenzi and Vex through. "I … I didn't know." The morning was turning out to be full of ugly revelations.

"That's why I'm telling you now BoBo. You need to do some serious house cleaning and sort out your shit before you go find Hot Pants."

The brunette's eyes welled up with tears as the reality of how much she had screwed up came crashing down on her. "Fuck, I've made a mess!" Rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands, she exhaled. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Let's not find out, okay?" Kenzi smiled tiredly; she was too emotionally exhausted to make a quip.

Bo pulled her friend into her and hugged her tight, tears flowing down her cheeks. She whispered into the Goth's hair; "I'm so sorry Kenz. I swear, I'll make things right."

Kenzi nodded in response as a lump formed in her throat. The Goth had gone through an emotional and stressful roller coaster ride taking care of Bo and it seemed that the ride had finally come to an end; the realization of which made her feel an overpowering sense of relief. Bo leaned back and gave Kenzi a sloppy kiss on her cheek causing the tiny woman to smile from ear to ear. The Goth had really missed her friend and it was so good to see that she was back.

* * *

Kenzi waited till Bo went upstairs; after the emotional and physical beating she took the last couple of days she needed some rest. The Goth took out her cell and hesitated over Hale's name - it had been a while since they had spoken or even seen each other. When she was dealing with the Norn's 'gift', she was scared and went to him for help but instead he turned his back on her and gave her the cold shoulder. Now that the whole Kitsune thing was behind her and her arm was healed, she still had a hard time forgiving him; mostly because she was disappointed that he had let her down when she needed him the most. She also thought that their friendship surpassed the human-Fae divide but she guessed wrong.

For now, she would put it behind her; she needed to talk to Hale for Bo's sake. Looking at her cell, she took a deep breath and exhaled before she started typing.

* Hey. *

* _Yo! Sup?_ *

* Can we meet? I need 2 talk 2 u about something. *

* _What about?_ *

* I think u know. *

* _I'm in meetings all day, how about the Dal tomorrow 8 a.m.?_ *

* OK. *

* _Wow, u agreeing to a morning meeting?_ *

* Yeah. I'll c u then. *

* * *

The Dal (28 days since Lauren left)

Kenzi shuffled through the door with her coffee cup in hand and made her way to the bar, grunting her hello's to Trick. She was very thankful that the Dal was never busy at this time of the day; she didn't do mornings very well and noise and excessive talking only compounded her allergic reaction to being awake at this time. Fortunately, Trick knew this and indicated to his office with a nod of his head.

The tiny Goth made her way down the stairs to Trick's office, steeling herself for the conversation with Hale. She knew that things would be awkward but she would try to be civil. When she opened the door, she found the Siren standing in the centre of the room, waiting for her. They looked at each other for a few moments without saying a word; the tension between them making the silence uncomfortable.

Hale was the first to speak. "Hey 'lil mama; long time no see." His calm exterior masked the nervousness that he felt.

His seeming nonchalance immediately irked the Goth and she automatically went on the defensive. "You can thank your guard dogs for that. You trained them well in keeping the human peons out of your presence."

Hale knew that he deserved the snide remark; he had felt horrible about having his guard keep Kenzi at bay but he did what he felt he had to do – Kenzi was a distraction and he needed to keep his focus. "About that... I'm sorry but I had Ash business to deal with and-"

The petite Russian cut him off before he could finish. "I'm not here to discuss that but make no mistake; we will be talking about it at some point." The stern look she gave him made him avert his eyes briefly.

The Siren sighed. "Fair enough. Let's get straight down to it then. What did you want to discuss?"

Kenzi indicated towards the leather chairs so that they could sit down and have a civilized conversation. Once seated, she looked straight into Hale's eyes. "I know that Bo has been a mess this past month. I'm the first to call her on her shit – she was heartbroken when Hot Pants… when Lauren left and she handled things **really **badly but she's better now. She's realized her mistakes and is trying to fix things. And one of those things is her relationship with Lauren. She wants to go to her and apologize in person; she never got the chance because Lauren just up and left. She really wants to make things right. Can you please tell her where the Doc is so that she can do this?"

Hale shook his head sadly, "I can't Kenzi. There's more riding here than just a relationship gone wrong. Thousands of Fae lives are at stake – that's why Lauren is there - to help sick and dying Fae. Plus, it's political - this is an agreement between two Light Fae clans. I can't have Bo going over there and messing with the Doc's head. If things don't go the way that she wants, you and I both know that she'll lose her shit and it'll fuck up everything that Lauren is trying to accomplish."

Kenzi was stunned. She was certain that Hale would help once she spoke to him and explained that Bo wasn't unstable anymore. "Jesus Hale, this is Bo and Lauren that we're talking about here – they love each other! You know that. Since when did you turn away from doing what's right?"

The Siren was frustrated and it echoed in his voice as he stood up suddenly, his arms gesturing wildly. "Dammit Kenzi, that's all I've been doing! I'm trying to do right by everyone and I'm being torn in so many fucking directions! I'm navigating this political nightmare of a road by myself; trying to change thousands of years of stagnant thinking and it's all on my shoulders. I've learned that if I want to make a difference, I have to think beyond myself and my friends; I have to think about the bigger picture and the greater good for all. So, don't assume that I made this decision lightly." He sighed loudly and sat down now that he was a little calmer after his vent. "I thought you knew me better than that." He said softly, disappointment in his voice.

"I knew the old Hale. I don't recognize **this** Hale." As soon as she said it, she regretted it but it was too late to take it back.

The Siren winced at her words. "If that's the case, why did you contact me? Why am I even here?"

Kenzi didn't reply. She didn't know what to say or how to recant her harsh remark. After a few moments of silence, Hale stood up and started to walk towards the door.

"Wait!" Kenzi shouted, standing up with her arm outstretched; this is not how she had envisioned this conversation going. She let her arm fall back to her side and in a calm tone she tried to appeal to Hale again. "Look, I don't want to fight. I hear what you're saying. How about this – what if Bo can show you that she's changed? It would prove that she won't go ape shit over there, wherever **there** is. If she did that, would you reconsider and tell her where Lauren is?"

Hale had stopped in mid-step and turned around to face the petite woman. "**If ** I consider this… how will she prove herself?"

Kenzi smiled internally as Hale was willing to listen. "If Bo stays out of trouble for a week, would you agree to tell her what she wants to know?"

The Siren stood there quietly thinking for a few moments. "Make it two weeks trouble free."

"A week and a half." Kenzi replied quickly.

"Two!" he repeated in a firm voice.

Kenzi rolled her eyes. "Okay, let me explain how negotiating works. You make an offer that is slightly lower than your previous number but still higher than mine; then I do the same when I make my bid; we keep doing this till we meet in the middle. It's called compromise. Let's try this again."

The young thief's antics always made him smile but he had to suppress it. "There is a lot at stake here Kenzi – for me, for Lauren, for the Fae clan in… umm, over there and for the ailing Fae that she's helping. As it is, I shouldn't even be considering this. If Bo stays out of trouble and I don't get any reports or complaints about her for the next two weeks, I'll tell her exactly where Lauren is. She has two weeks to keep her nose clean, starting today. That's my final offer."

Kenzi knew it was this or nothing. "Fine! Deal." She stuck her hand out for Hale to seal the deal. He shook her hand and maintained his grip as if he were afraid to let go; after a few moments he seemed to awaken from his daze and released her hand, a blush forming on his face.

The Goth pretended not to notice. "Know that I'm holding you to this." She said firmly.

"I have no doubt that you will." Hale said softly.

Later at the Crack Shack

Kenzi wasn't sure how her friend was going to react to the news but Bo surprised her by handling it well. In Bo's mind she had no choice - Hale was the only one who knew where Lauren was and she didn't want to enthrall him for the information as that would wreck whatever was left of their friendship. The brunette was determined to stay out of trouble as she wanted to prove to herself, Kenzi and Hale that she could. More importantly, she was willing to do anything necessary to get to Lauren and if she had to be good for two weeks, she would be very good.

The Succubus and the Goth quickly fell into the routine of working cases during the day to keep busy and still earn cash; and in the evenings, they stayed home, watching TV and ordering take out with Kenzi getting to choose what they ate, as per their arrangement.

Things were quickly back to normal in the Crack Shack; however, outside of work and home, Bo often wondered if her Succubus cravings would make her slip up – it was a theory that she didn't want to test. At first, the brunette was a bit hesitant going out to bars, especially to the Dal and the Carpe Noctem, which were her old stomping grounds; however she soon fell back into her old, healthy groove; keeping herself in check by staying sober. When it came time to feed, she made sure to only siphon small amounts from those she enthralled instead of having sex; this meant that she had to suck chi from more than one person or Fae at a time to sustain her.

Kenzi noticed the difference in Bo's feeding habits right away and questioned her on it when they got back home – she didn't want there to be any secrets or strange behaviour especially since her friend was starting to get back on track. Subtly, the Goth asked, "What's with all the Succu-sucking when you feed? How come you're not sexing it up?"

Bo, who was in the midst of drinking her beer, choked which caused beer to come out through her nose. After her coughing spurt was done, Bo shook her head at her friend. "You really must learn how to segue. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've noticed that now that you're out of your funk, you only suck chi – you're not having sex to feed. Are you abstaining? Is that even possible?"

The Succubus ran her fingers through her wavy hair. "I'm fine. I was having sex all the time because I constantly needed to heal from all the fights. But since the Dawning, I've changed - I have more control over my chi after feeding. It's like I can tap into it whenever I want, taking as much or as little as I need to keep me going. I haven't tried it yet but I think I could go a few days off of one feeding; maybe longer." Bo smiled to herself as she knew that this would be something that Lauren would geek out about and would want to test; she would happily comply if it meant having her girlfriend back.

Bo paused to collect her thoughts before continuing. "After everything that happened these past few weeks, I am kinda abstaining from sex right now. I know it sounds really weird saying it out loud."

The brunette sighed, the weight of her self-destructive behaviour rested heavily on her shoulders. "I just need to sort myself out first; everything that I've done, it's… it's just messed up. I need to get my Succubus side under control - I was at an all you can eat buffet for a month after all. So, until I feel more stable, I'm choosing to feed by sucking it out of someone instead of having sex with them. With that said, if I get hurt and need to heal, sex is the fastest and best way to replenish my chi."

Bo looked at her friend to see if what she said sunk in. "Does that make sense?"

Kenzi tilted her head to the side as she processed this information. "So, before the Dawning, you were like a sexy sports car with a high performance engine that had shitty gas mileage, quickly burning through gas. And after the Dawning, your high performance engine became more fuel efficient, so you don't have to gas up as often?"

"Aside from the fact that you are comparing me to a sports car, yes, that's it exactly."

"Cool! Why didn't you explain it like that then? I would've understood you a lot sooner."

Bo shook her head at her friend and continued to drink her beer.

* * *

During the next two weeks, Bo heeded Kenzi's advice to clean up house. She made sure to apologize to Vex for all the trouble she caused and thanked him for helping Kenzi take care of her. The brunette could tell that the Mesmer was surprised by the apology as he tried to be nonchalant about it, saying that he liked the chaos that she brought to his establishment, but when she hugged him, he didn't push her away or make any sarcastic comments nor did he try to cop a feel.

The brunette felt better after apologizing to Vex. It was like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders as she took responsibility for her actions and acknowledged those who tried to help her. However, she knew that she still had a ways to go to make things right. Bo had amassed a great deal of money from all the cases that they had worked and even though she knew that it wouldn't completely make up for her behaviour, she used some of it to pay for the repairs to property that she had caused damage to; figuring it was the least that she could do.

* * *

Crack Shack (41 days since Lauren left - evening)

It was almost the end of the longest two weeks of her life and Bo had one last thing that she had to do; something which would involve a very special client.

"Hey Kenz, can you do me a favour? I, uh, double booked us with two clients tomorrow morning on the opposite sides of the city. Can you take one and I'll take the other?" Bo asked sheepishly.

Kenzi groaned. "How early are we talking about here? You know that I don't function well in the mornings."

The brunette gave her a big toothy grin. "Um, 8:30 A.M."

"Bo! Really?"

"I know! I'm sorry. I must've spaced out when I made the appointments. I'm taking the earlier appointment at 8 o'clock."

"Fine! Where am I meeting the client and what's the story?" The Goth agreed grumpily.

"At Cora's on Wellington Street. The client's name is Mrs. Altec and it's the usual cheating hubby scenario. I told her that you have black hair with purple highlights, so that she would recognize you."

"Presumptuous much? Well, at least I'll be able to have pancakes after the meeting." Kenzi grumbled.

Cora's (42 days since Lauren left)

The Goth was in a booth at the back of the restaurant and had a clear view of the door. It was 8:50 A.M. and Mrs. Altec hadn't shown up. She was hungry and sleepy and getting grumpier by the second; as she waited for the waitress to come around and pour her a refill, she cursed Bo in her head.

She pulled out her cell and texted the Succubus.

* This client is a no-show. *

* _Give her till 9; if nothing, leave._ *

* U owe me big time! *

* _I know. Add another shopping spree to the list._ *

* I'm upping it - u owe me an ALL day shopping spree. *

* _U got it! When next are you free?_ *

* I'll have to check my calendar. Sec. *

"How about in an hour?" Bo said as she slid into the booth across from the Goth.

Kenzi almost dropped her cell as she jumped in her seat; not expecting her friend to materialize out of thin air. "You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here?"

"I'm treating you to breakfast and a day of shopping." Bo said giddily.

"Huh?" the tiny Russian woman said eloquently.

"If I told you that I was taking you shopping, we wouldn't get going until sometime this afternoon. This way, I figured we could get an early start and also ensure that you had food and coffee in your system."

"I'm not quite awake yet as I only have one cup of coffee in me but did you just play me?" Kenzi asked mortified.

"I did!" Bo said grinning proudly from ear to ear.

"Oh my God! I'm losing my touch. I can't believe I fell for your pedestrian ploy." Kenzi looked horrified.

"Hey! Was that an insult?" Bo asked uncertainly.

"Oh, there's the waitress. Let's order!" Kenzi said as she excitedly grabbed the menu, obviously changing the subject.

* * *

Forty five minutes later, Kenzi had consumed four waffles covered in fresh fruit and custard, along with a stack of pancakes drenched in maple syrup. Bo was amazed at how much the tiny woman had eaten.

"I think you have a giant tape worm inside you. There's no other explanation for it. Where do you put all that food?" Bo asked incredulously.

"It goes straight to my hair and to my 'tude!" Kenzi said as she rubbed her stomach, smiling goofily. "Happy tummy. Sooo full!"

The brunette laughed at the Goth. This was the first time since Lauren left that she genuinely felt happy and laughed. Bo knew to cherish the moment and to cherish her friend. If it wasn't for Kenzi she didn't know if she would've been able to get past her depression and find herself again. She owed so much to her best friend and sister.

Bo winked at Kenzi. "Let me know when you can waddle out of here. We have a full day of shopping ahead of us and we can't do that from this booth."

* * *

Many, many hours of shopping later, Bo was never so happy to be home and off her feet. Their worn, beaten couch never looked so inviting as the brunette plopped down onto it and immediately took off her boots. "My feet are gonna fall off." She whined. "You have some serious shopping stamina." Bo said wearily as she rubbed her aching feet.

"It's a gift! Don't be jealous." Kenzi replied proudly as she surveyed the mountains of shopping bags piled on the floor around them. "Can I just say that today was **the ** bestest day ever!" the petite Russian exclaimed as she rummaged through her bags.

Kenzi squealed like a little girl as she pulled out a pair of black, knee high, platform boots from one of the bags, "Would it be wrong if I slept with these beautiful babies?" A huge grin was etched on her face as she put one boot against her cheek and caressed the leather. "I know that the other shoes and boots would get jealous but I could take turns and sleep with a different pair each night. I'm considerate; I can share the love."

Bo just shook her head and chuckled at her friend. They had a wonderful day. They shopped, talked, laughed and had a blast - it was like old times again, except this time they had money and didn't steal anything. After everything that happened between them, they needed the time to reconnect and their day of shopping afforded them that.

The brunette was suddenly rousted out of her thoughts when Kenzi launched herself at her, hugging her tightly. "Thanks BoBo. I had a great time today." She said genuinely as she detached herself and sat next to the brunette.

"I did too." Bo replied happily as she put her arm around Kenzi's shoulder and pulled her close.

The two women sat in comfortable silence with Bo relishing being off her feet and Kenzi buzzing from her shopping high. However, the peace and quiet was suddenly interrupted by the sound of Kenzi's cell phone. It took a few moments for the Goth to even locate it amongst all the bags but when she finally found it, she realized that it was a text from the Siren.

"It's Hale." Kenzi said quietly as she looked over at her best friend.

Those two words were enough to make Bo's stomach flip flop. She didn't know if Hale would follow through on his end of the bargain and if he did, then it meant that she was a step closer to finding Lauren and making things right between them. "What did he say?" she asked hesitantly

Kenzi read out Hale's text. "He wants to know if we can be at Trick's office tomorrow at noon."

Bo took a deep breath and exhaled. "We'll be there."

The Goth texted the Siren back saying that that they would see him tomorrow, then turned to face her friend. "Are you okay?"

The brunette sighed. "Yeah. Just anxious and nervous… even when I was wallowing in my misery, I always wondered where Lauren was. If Hale makes good on his promise, I will know tomorrow. I'll be able to find her. The thing is that I don't know if she wants me to."

Kenzi gently squeezed her friend's hand. "One step at a time, okay? Let's get Hot Pants' location first and then you can worry about her reaction after."

"You're right." Bo took another deep breath and released the tension in her shoulders. "One step at a time."

_TBC_


End file.
